Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

Mom was taking a nap and Dad was watching TV.


I cleared my throat. “Going f—for a bi—bike—”


“Don’t go too far,” Dad grumbled without turning away from the TV screen. He never had the patience to let me finish any of my sentences. “It’s suppertime soon and I’m making your favorite. We’re having sloppy joes.”


I gagged. God, I hated those brown things.


I rode my bike to the Verdun hospital. It wasn’t very far. Just down the street, four or five blocks going east. The opposite of where the sun sets. I left my bike in the parking lot and walked into the emergency room. There were a lot of people in there. Mostly old people. Some kids, too. None of them looked like they were dying. I’d never been to the hospital. Except once, but that doesn’t really count. I was very young, and I don’t remember why I was there, except that they made me eat a lot of Jell-O.


I looked around for the Lunds, but didn’t see them anywhere.


Chapter 9