Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

I could see Nick out of the corner of my eye. He leaned over the front railing, watching the street. “You want some of this left-over candy?” he finally said. “Nothing but toffee and raisins, but I think I saw a few gum sticks in there.”


I dared to look over my shoulder. “No—no, thank you.”


“Sure?” He was handing me the plastic pumpkin over the railing. He looked nine feet tall. The streetlamp shone in his eyes. “Come on, O’Reilly.” His mouth glistened like water under the moon. “Have a box of dried raisins at least.”


I wanted to, but that meant having to reach out and take the pumpkin out of his hand. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but he still stood there, with his arm stretched over the railing, and I had to get myself together. “All right,” I said, standing up. “Tha—anks.” I took whatever my fingers landed on and stuffed that in my pocket without even looking at it.


Chapter 16