Quiet and imaginative, Derek O'Reilly spends a lot of time watching a movie in his head. His fiancé Nathan wonders why Derek hasn't taken any interest in their wedding planning, and Aunt Fran -- his spiritual guru -- would like to know when her guilt-tripping nephew became a kept boy. When she drops Derek's childhood journal on his lap, he's forced to remember the name he's been trying to forget since he was twelve years old. Nicolai Lund. Nick was Derek's neighbor ... and first love. Weeks before Derek's engagement party, a chance meeting with Nick catapults Derek into the past. But Nick isn't that seventeen-year-old rebel anymore. He's a man hardened by invisible scars. A man struggling with grief. As Derek reads through his childhood diary, he realizes what Nick was to him, still is today, and yet might be ... NOTE: This edition has been expanded and substantially edited.

Split

He was worth all the trouble I could ever get into.


JF stuck his hands into his pockets. His wig was on crooked and his face looked like curd cheese. “You could have said something. You were there, too.”


I pointed to the street. “Better do-do what he said be—before he comes back out.”


“What do you think he’s gonna do? I mean, he won’t really break him in half, right?”


“I don’t know, b—but I’m getting him s—some toilet paper.”


Inside, Aunt Frannie was on the phone. “Honey.” She folded her hand over the speaker. “Be quiet, your mom’s sleeping, but don’t worry, she had an egg sandwich before she went to bed. See? It’s not so bad.”


Aunt Frannie thinks mom’s blues are hungry all the time.


I slipped the silk scarf off my head and washed my face in the bathroom sink. I put Dad’s shirt in the hamper and pulled my thick black sweater over my head. It hadn’t snowed yet, but it was still cold out there. I tiptoed to the hallway closet and gently opened it.


Chapter 17