Chapter 68

“Truly, Ryan. Just go.”

Again, he walks past me and stops near the front door.

Again, the cement blocks are able to drag me to the exit. In the hall, I turn and look at him, hoping he can understand what’s in my eyes: him. Because he is so much in my life. I suck at showing it, but he is.

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?”

Here I am, ladies and gentlemen! Angry, rancorous, aggressive, and snarling. And pathetic. God, I should slap myself! I need to know. He hasn’t answered this important question.

Finally, he shakes his head. I stop myself from doing a victory dance, as it isn’t appropriate. I have the great idea to say something else, because I can’t leave like this, satisfied our relationship is safe, mostly. “I have to go; you understand that? It’s something that concerns me. It’s something only I can resolve and I have to try, but it’s me who has to do it, nobody can do it in my place. I’d love for you to be able to help me, but what could you do?”