So why could I not fully return his affection? Surely, I could search my entire life and never find another man like this, secure in his manhood, his self-confidence, his finances. If I were to issue him a report card, he would get an A in every category. What more could I possibly ask for? Perhaps this was where I needed to end my search for a man. If searching for a man was what I had been doing.
No. That was just it. It wasn’t what I had been doing. I was just searching for fun. I had never even considered looking for a life partner. Was I now at a point in my life where I should begin doing that? I could think of a number of my friends who had lived through their wild days, one man after another, but then they finally met the one they settled down with, living in a monogamous relationship, even having children. Was I now at that point in my life?