It’s about time writer Jonah Icicle takes Sandy Keye’s hand in marriage ... on Christmas Day! The Icicle family is upside down again and who better to rescue them? Jonah, of course. As a blizzard builds outside, his fiancé Sandy becomes concerned the storm might threaten their wedding day. No fear, though -- Jonah gears up and plows forward, ready to face the snow and the Icicles. A new addition to the family surprises him -- Magnum McKee, a snow buddy who happens to be his brother-in-law Bobo’s sexual therapy partner. Magnum causes a rift between Jonah’s two younger siblings, Jake and Willa. The brother and sister are in a face-off concerning Magnum’s position in Willa’s “threesome” marriage. Can Jonah smooth out their sibling rivalry before his happy day? His mohter Pam is hiding a secret. Where is she running off to again? Something is going on and Jonah must get to the bottom of it. And his father Bill hangs out in the neighbor’s basement. Jonah has to help put a stop to his straying before he ends up in the next town over. Throw a blizzard into the mix, Jonah’s bottom catching on fire, matching Christmas-themed briefs between Magnum and Bobo, a human snowman, and a wedding coordinator on cocaine. Despite all this, will Jonah have the perfect wedding on Christmas Day? Will he have the chance to marry the man he loves or not?

The Icicles: A Christmas Wedding

Although Jonah and Sandy desire the gay Chris Hemsworth look-alike consultant, Judas Milner, at CCC Services, a delicious dreamboat that causes both their tongues to wag, Cookie has decided to take on the role herself, meeting with the fresh and handsome couple for their final review before their wedding in two days. She meets Jonah and Sandy in the establishment’s royal blue and gold foyer, immediately shakes their hands, and snappily admits, “Prompt. Just as I like my clients to be. Follow me to the consulting room called Happiness.”


Jonah takes note of Cookie’s too-tight skirt, white blazer, matching four-inch high heels, and pillbox hat. All she needs is a pair of wings to look like an angel. She clumsily but quickly wobbles in front of them left and right, leading them astray down a wide hall of consulting rooms called Joy, Faithfulness, and Love. Consulting room Happiness is the last one on the right. Cookie enters the room first and the two men follow.


Chapter 10