It’s not easy being a gay man in Utah, but it’s even more difficult when you’re young and overweight. Jay has never fit in with the general “club culture” and he knows he’d never be attractive enough to catch a one-night stand, much less a boyfriend. Losing himself in books and school alleviates his loneliness, and he doesn’t waste time dreaming about what he can’t have. Until he meets the new director of the GLBT Center on campus and promptly falls in love -- against all common sense and logic.<br><br>Hoping to catch a few glimpses of Stephen outside of the Center, Jay decides to start working out at the university gym. The plan turns out to be too successful as Stephen volunteers to be his workout buddy, then invites Jay out to lunch, and finally, kisses him. Jay wants Stephen more than anything, but he can’t bring himself to trust Stephen’s intentions. Not when he knows he’s disgusting and Stephen is so perfect ...

From Behind that Locked Door

But then, maybe that’s what Muhaimin meant. The priest worshipped Cillian. “If Father Whalen’s faith isn’t good enough, then why do you think mine is? I don’t go to church. I barely believe. You speak Bible verses at me, and I hardly know them. If you’re God, I’m not worthy.”


Something about Muhaimin changed. Instead of words, it made a soft chuckling noise with clicking similar to the Monks’ language. God was gone. This was just a capybara now. Shaken, he ushered Muhaimin out of his quarters and closed the door. He didn’t know whether he could believe that the animal was really the voice of God or not. He was having hallucinations after all. The birds weren’t real. The wolf wasn’t real. But this creature knew Bible passages he didn’t think he remembered. And it spoke so clearly and peacefully. It felt tangible.


And this was a chance for him to receive religious guidance without consulting Father Whalen. Whether it was true or not, maybe he could use it to his advantage.   8


Chapter 34