Chapter 23 - Luke

Alexia hadn't come to school for two weeks now. I was really getting worried again. I was too scared to text her, not knowing how she would respond.

Oh yeah, by the way, something happened Monday. It was really shocking to me.

As you know, I have a swimming lesson after PE. For some unknown reason, I was the first one to change and walk to the benches next to the swimming pool. I sat down and looked out of the window for a while, thinking how messed up my life was in that exact moment. A few seconds later, I heard some light footsteps approaching me, and I already knew who it was.

"Hey, Jane," I said.

"How did you know it was me? You were looking that way!" she complained.

"I have a sixth sense for this stuff," I joked.

She punched me lightly on the shoulder. "So," she said, "I heard you got in trouble."

"What?" I asked. What was she talking about?

"The thing with Vanessa."

Ugh. Why do people keep reminding me?

"That was two weeks ago," I told her. "That's old news."

"Whatever," she smirked. "You know, I happen to like bad boys."

"What?" I asked, starting to panic.

She didn't answer but threw herself at me. She took my face with her hands and pulled me towards her, making our lips crash together. I was too shocked to move, but only for a few seconds. When I finally unfroze, I pushed her away as hard as I could. Maybe a little too much.

She slipped and fell in the pool, splashing everywhere. When she resurfaced, she yelled, "What the hell!"

Before I could answer, my other swimming mates walked in, making stupid comments. "Hey Jane, why so eager to get wet today?" one said. The others snickered.

"Shut up," Jane complained as she got out of the water and sat on the bench as far as she could from me. I was still pretty shaken up by what had just happened, so I stayed silent for the whole lesson and all the way home on the bus.

What is happening in my life? Am I giving out some kind of sexy vibe? I mean last year, in New York, nobody even knew my name. Now, it's like everyone wants something to do with me. First Alexia, then Vanessa and now Jane. Why is this happening to me!

At that moment I decided that I would try to make it as obvious as possible that I'm not looking for a relationship with anyone. Well, except maybe Alexia, if everything turned out okay. So the next morning, I took a shower, got ready, and left my house. I walked to school, listening to some music. I was walking to English class when somebody slammed into me from the side.

"The hell?" I said as she pushed into an empty classroom. I thought it was a she because her hair smelled like strawberries. I don't know many guys that use strawberry shampoo. She closed the door behind her and turned the light on. Jane?

"Why would you do that?!" she pleaded.

"Uh, what?" I asked, still a little surprised.

She punched me on the arm. Ow. "You pushed me into the pool, you idiot! Why?"

I couldn't believe I was really having this conversation. "Why? Because you assaulted me, Jane!" I explained.

"No, I didn't! I thought you wanted that kiss. I hoped you wanted it as much as I did."

"I'm sorry Jane, but I just don't feel that way about you. I see you more as a friend. A really good friend. And when you kissed me I was just surprised."

After a short pause, she asked, "So you want to do it again?"

I blinked. "Did you even hear a word I just said?"

She nodded. "I heard that you were just a bit surprised."

"And that I don't feel that way for you," I finished.

"I don't care," she said placing her hands on the sides of my face, "I think this will make you change your mind."

Look, I'm not proud of what I did next. There was just no way to reason with this girl, so I did the only thing that came to me. I ran away.

Gods, that so much more embarrassing to say aloud.

I sprinted to English class and sat down, determined to forget all about what had just happened.

Okay, fast-forward two weeks later.

I was in the middle of the hallway walking to English class when I saw Vanessa approach me. When she was close enough to me she opened her mouth. Before she could speak a single word, I put my hand in front of her face and said, "No."

I then walked away, knowing very well that Vanessa was glaring at me from behind. This had actually been going on for a while. When I saw her walk over to me, I would just ignore her and walk away. Unfortunately, she still hadn't got the message.

I went to English class, almost not noticing Alexia sitting in the last row. As soon as I saw her I hesitated, but I recovered quickly. I walked over to my seat and sat down, aware of Alexia right behind me. My other classmates were talking and taking out their school stuff, but it seemed like it was only Alexia and me in the room.

"Please sit down, everyone. The bell has rung!" Mrs. Depree said.

I tried to concentrate, but I could still sense Alexia's stare burning on my neck. Why was she so interested in me all of a sudden?

After the last morning lesson, French, I went to my locker to get my gym stuff. I opened the door and an envelope fluttered to the floor. Curious, I picked it up and turned it over: For Luke. It only took me a second to recognize Alexia's beautiful handwriting.

She wrote to me? She wrote to me! I thought as a big grin appeared on my face.

I opened the letter and read the message. My smile slowly fell.

I was depressed for the rest of the day. I ate alone, I was distracted at Social Studies, a ball hit me in the face at P.E, and I almost drowned at swimming.

She only wanted to be friends, and nothing more. A part of me wanted to say that I could change her mind, that we could still be together. But the other part was giving up. I couldn't believe this was happening. I knew that we had just had that horrible fight and that we were in a really tough spot in our relationship right now, but I hoped that someday we would forgive each other and get back together. But that letter had crushed that little hope I had left.

The next day I got out of bed, showered, changed, ate and left. I walked quickly, eager to get to school. Ten minutes later I was in my seat in English class, waiting. Finally, Lisa walked through the door, followed by the person I was waiting for. I stood up, walked over to her, grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the classroom in a broom closet. We were a little tight, but I didn't care at the moment.

"What's going on?" Alexia asked as I closed the door behind us. I turned around to see her face. She looked angry but worried at the same time. Maybe about me?

"Luke, answer me," she said again, "What's wrong?" She placed her hand on my cheek. I covered it with mine, then kissed her soft palm. I placed my arms around her waist.

"I don't want to leave you. I don't want to be your friend. I want you to be much more. You mean the world to me. You don't know how much I care about you. You're the love of my life and it breaks my heart to hear you say that you don't want a romantic relationship with me," I explained, "That's what's wrong with me."

"Luke," she whispered, making chills run up my back. "I'm sorry, but I told you what I want, and…"

"But this isn't what you want," I interrupted. "I can see it in your eyes. I know you're still in love with me. I know you love me as much as I love you."

Alexia stayed silent.

I stepped back, unwrapping her. "I know I messed up, but I'll do everything I can to fix this." I gestured a hand between us. "What can I do to fix this?"

"I don't know Luke!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I do love you, and I do want to get back together, but I'm just scared that…"

I couldn't stand it any longer. I leaned in and pushed my lips to hers, closing the distance between us. It was a simple peck, but I put as much emotion and passion that I could so that she would know that I would always be there for her. We stood there for a couple of seconds, then I broke the kiss and cupped her cheeks. She was looking down. She sighed, then said, "Luke, please, let me finish," she pleaded. "I'm scared that I'll get hurt again. I won't tell you how to fix this, but I need to know that we can trust each other. Show me that I can trust you and…" she paused.

"And?" I asked as a little bit of hope rose through my body.

"And we can be friends," she finished.

Suddenly, my lungs stopped working and my heart stopped beating. I was panicking. I knew that I couldn't be able to live with myself if I knew that I had lost the perfect girl for an incredibly stupid mistake.

"Alexia, please, don't do this…" I pleaded.

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eyes. "I got to go." She pushed open the door and left. I stood there, rethinking the conversation I'd just had.

And we can be friends, she repeated in my mind.

After what seemed like hours, I unfroze and walked to English class. I sat down and looked at the blackboard, even though nothing was written on it.

"Lucas, is everything alright?" Mrs. Depree asked.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, but I don't feel very well," I said.

"Okay, don't worry about it. Are you going home?" the teacher asked.

"Yes, I think so," I answered. "Thank you."

I left, thinking of a way to fix… everything.