The Journal (Pt. 1)

[Trigger Warning: Mentions of blood and gore, torture and abuse, s*ic*de attempts included. Read at your own discretion.] 

"9th of May came again. It's been 3 years since Bev died. I stayed in the military most of the time anyway, so I didn't see her family all that often. But now that I'm ordered to stay behind, it feels agonizing. 

I want to see Samuel. I'm scared for him. I don't know what Professor Sebastian is doing to him, and it terrifies me. But the more I think about it, the stupider I feel. Why do I feel this way? It's stupid. 

I came to the military thinking I'd have power against everything. Who would have thought this stupid blood was a stupid fetter? If I had the option to live my life again, I wouldn't even think about joining the military. I would stay so close to Bev that the vicious person wouldn't be able to seduce her.