Chapter 5: I Won't Let You Down

The blonde girl is some demon named Ruby and she says she can help Dean. Dean doesn't like the idea of trusting a demon but Sam says she can help. I'm with Sam on this one but I don't get in the middle of their late night squabbling, I'm just happy to be allowed to tag along. Dad's phone rings in the glove compartment of the car, Sam answers it and finds out that someone broke into one of Dad's storage units outside of Buffalo. That's where we go.

"Whoa, spooky" I say and shine my flashlight around the smoggy old room

"Watch your step" Dean cautions and shines a light on the trip wire at the entrance. I step carefully over the wire and walk past the devil's trap and blood on the ground. Sam finds an old soccer trophy and Dean finds a shotgun he made in shop class in sixth grade. I scan the room frantically for something Dad kept of mine and then I see it.

"Wow!" I gasp and hold the wooden Popsicle stick picture frame I made in first grade under the flashlight. The picture inside almost brings tears to my eyes. He's standing with his arm around me and I'm in my pajamas opening a cardboard box. Christmas time. I slip the picture from the frame and slip it into my pocket. It's the only picture I own.

"Sam, you think you can teach me to play soccer sometime?" I ask and follow my brothers into another part of the room

"Soccer?" Dean snorts, "Dude, stick to baseball. Chicks love baseball; you've got Jeter, A-Rod, Babe Ruth, Clemens, name one famous soccer player"

"Okay" Sam rolls his eyes, "David Beckham"

Dean pauses in thought "One more"

"Guys look" Sam says shining his flashlight on one of Dad's shelves. "A curse box is missing"

Bela Talbot's name was Kary when we first met her in the diner. I didn't think much of her back then, to me she was just a clumsy waitress making goo-goo eyes at Sam while my brothers eye-banged her into next week. I was more interested in my chocolate malt, which was quickly becoming my favorite diner food. I wish I had paid more attention to her back then, maybe I could have caught her as she pickpocketed Dad's lucky rabbit's foot right out Sam's coat pocket. Dean left me to watch out for him and make sure that he stayed out of trouble while he tracked down Bela.

"Don't worry, Sam" I say once Dean is gone, "I'll take care of you. Nothing's going to get you while I'm around"

"Thanks Evan."

"Hey Sam" I say as I take a seat on the bed next to him, "do you ever miss your powers?"

"No" Sam says, "It was more of a curse than anything"

"I don't think it was a curse. You were like a super hero. I wish I had powers"

Sam smiles at me and I smile back.

"You think Dean's going to get the foot back soon?" I ask

"You know Dean, he won't leave without it"

"You think he's going to shoot her in the head?"

Sam frowns at me "No" he leans forward towards me, "Evan, why would you ask that?"

I shrug, "She stole from us"

"And you think that's a good reason to kill someone?" He squints incredulously at me and I start to feel like I've said something wrong, "Evan, you don't kill somebody just because they get you upset"

"She could get you killed!" I say defensively, "After everything that we've been through she could just walk right over and take you away again and then I'd be-" I stop when I realize that I'm shouting. I look down at the ground and compose myself

"You'd be what, Evan?" Sam asks softly and I lift my head

"I'd be alone" I sigh, "Dad's gone, Dean's… and then you?"

Sam puts a hand on mine "I know you're scared. You've been through a lot recently but listen to me" He looks directly into my eyes, "Dean's not going anywhere and neither am I, we're going to save Dean."

I smile a little and he smiles back. "I'm glad you're back, Sam"

"Me too"

I hear my stomach start to gurgle and I realize that I should've ordered something than a drink for breakfast.

"Hungry?" Sam laughs

"A little" I admit

"There's a vending machine a block down"

"I can't leave you." I say dutifully

"I think I'll be fine for five minutes" Sam scoffs and my stomach gurgles again

"Okay. Five minutes" I say rushing to the door. "Don't move!"

I had just brought two dollars worth of candy from the machine when I saw the poor thing hopping around the parking lot trapped in one of those plastic rings that keep six packs of cola together. I dropped everything I was holding to go help the bird, moving quickly to hold it still and one hand and cut it loose with my pocket knife with the other hand. That's when I noticed that the poor guy was bleeding from its right wing and neck.

"Oh no" I whispered as it struggled half-heartedly to free itself from my grasp.

"I'll save you little guy." I say as I quickly shrug off my over shirt and wrap it around the bird. It twitters in distress but I hold it close to my chest. I reach into the pocket of the over shirt and take out the miniature first aid kit that Sam gave me a few weeks ago after a hunt. There has to be something in here that I can use to help. I rifle through the box with one hand and pull out some antibiotic ointment. It isn't easy but I manage to rub some of it on the bird's wounds with enough to spare for me later to patch up the cuts I'm getting while handling the distressed animal. Afterwards I wrap a small bandage around loosely its neck and wing. The bird is completely disoriented when I let it out of my now filthy shirt. I decide that maybe I should keep him a while longer until he's healthy enough to be on his own without bandages. I hope Dean lets me. I gather up the almost completely immobilized bird in my shirt again, grab the snacks and walk back to the motel room. The Impala is parked outside of it. How long was I gone? Judging by the darkened sky, I'd guess a few hours. I open the door and see Dean untying Sam from a chair. Sam is bleeding from his nose and there are two unconscious men laying on the floor.

"What happened?" I gape

"I was about to ask the same thing" Dean shot back at me

"Some of Gordon's henchmen came to get me." Sam says

The name is familiar but I don't remember who he is. I don't ask.

"You're kidding me." I groan

"So I'll ask again, what happened?" Dean says at me

"It's not his fault, Dean" Sam says, "it's better that he wasn't here"

"I'm sorry" I mumble flushed overwhelmed with guilt and embarrassment

"What's in your shirt?" Dean asks as he and Sam gather their things quickly from the room

"A bird" I mutter

"A what?"

"It's a bird. He was stuck in plastic and he needed help. He was hurt." I explain as we rush to the car

"That's not coming in my car" Dean says

"But Dean-"

"But nothing. I'm not letting a bird in the car so it can crap all over the place. It stinks and could be carrying a disease"

"It's not! I promise!" I beg

"No, Evan. Now come on"

"No" I say, standing firm outside of the car, "I'm not leaving him behind"

"Yes you are, let's go" Dean orders

"No, I'm not!"

Dean storms over and for a second I think he's going to grab me and throw me into the car but instead he snatches the shirt right out of my hand

"No! Dean! Wait, give him back!" I cry and chase after him as he walks but he doesn't slow down. He walks into the main office and puts the bird on the table

"Hi, we found this bird out in the parking lot in pretty bad shape. We patched him up a bit but he should probably see a vet" Dean says to the receptionist

"Oh my goodness" She pouts, "The poor thing. My brother is a vet and he's home for the weekend. I'm sure he'll fix him up in no time"

"Thank you" Dean winks and walks out again

"Wow" I say, "how lucky is that?"

Dean holds up the rabbit's foot and whistles, "that's why we have to hurry. Let's go" He says and climbs into the front seat. I hop into the back and strap in.

I was unarmed in the cemetery where we burned the rabbit's foot. It was a good thing too because I probably would have killed Bela after she shot Sam but Dean had a better idea and tricked her into holding it so she would have to destroy it.

"Oh don't go away angry, just go away" He says to her. He's annoyed with her but I can tell he likes her.

"Have a nice night, boys" She smirks and walks away

"Are you okay, Sam?" I ask

"I'll live" He says

"Oh, I almost forgot about the scratch tickets!" Dean says reaching into his pockets before pausing in his tracks. Bela's car drives by and honks.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean cries out and Sam smiles.

"She took them?" I gape

"She's a pickpocket, she picked my… pocket" Dean grumbles angrily. I don't see why Sam thinks it's funny until it dawns on me that he probably likes her too. I roll my eyes.

It's not the last we see of her, but when she shows up again I keep my distance from her. Sam and Dean like to handle her all on their own so I don't get mixed up in their games. When they're away handling the Hand of Glory incident, I'm on the phone with Bobby trying to figure out how to save Dean.

"That faith healer was a fluke." He says, "and even if it wasn't, the woman had a grim reaper bound to her. She was killing innocent people too"

"But she saved Dean"

"The ends don't always justify the means, Evan." He tells me. I can tell I'm upsetting and confusing him

"But what if there's a way to save Dean without trading a life, is that possible?"

"Kid, we are not going to mess with grim reapers"

"Why not?" I plead, "It's worth a try isn't it?"

The line was silent.

"Please Bobby"

"Evan" He sighs, "why don't you just take a night off? Watch some baseball, read a book, and relax for a little"

"I can't, Bobby. Dean is going to die unless I save him" I whimper

"Evan-"

"I can't let him down!" I cry out, "what if I don't find a way to save him?"

After a few seconds he speaks again "No one expects you to, son"

I slump down in my chair and rest my forehead on the old wooden table

"Your brothers still gone?"

"Yeah" I sulk, "Bela saw the ship so they're going to save her"

"Have Sam call me when he gets in"

"Okay"

"Go watch some TV or something, okay?"

"Yeah okay" I say and hang up. There isn't a television in this big old empty house that we've been squatting in. I slip Sam's computer out of his bag and set it down on the table. Thankfully, we always seem to have an Internet connection wherever we go. I browse the web for an almost an hour but I don't find anything, I hardly know what I'm looking for. I'm not great with research like Sam is. I clear out the history and put Sam's laptop back just as Sam and Dean walk in. They're drenched.

"Have fun saving your girlfriend?" I ask the both of them

Sam grimaces at me and takes off his sopping shirt.

"Yeah, it was awesome" Dean says sarcastically, "what are you doing up anyway, I thought you'd be knocked out by now"

"Dean, I'm thirteen, not three" I huff

"Did we miss any calls?" Sam asks

"Nope. No calls" I shrug, "can we leave early tomorrow morning? I want to wake up in time to get breakfast"

Dean nods and stroll off towards a bed for the night.

If I had forgotten who Gordon Walker was, I was quickly reminded shortly after we started on our next case. He was a deranged lunatic gunning for Sam who with the help of the ever-charming Bela, tracked down our location. That was the first time I ever heard Dean threaten a human's life and mean it. Bela must have known that he meant it too because she called back quickly to redeem herself by spilling the details of Gordon's location. When Sam and Dean came back from checking it out, they told me that Gordon had been turned by a vampire and left again without me. I missed all the action but Dean tells me that Sam took the vamps head off with barbed wire. I'm so impressed with him that I give him a high five. That night I have a nightmare. I'm a bird with a broken wing with a ring of barbed wire around my neck. A boy walks over to me and picks me up.

"Don't worry little guy." The boy says, "I'll take care of you" and then he grabs the wire with one hand and twists it. I try to struggle and break free but he's too strong and my body becomes drenched with my blood and the blood now pouring from his hand.

"I'll save you." The boy says and then my head pops off and I'm awake.

For as long as I could remember, I've never celebrated a Christmas. I'm sure that when my mother was alive she would do something special but I can't remember any of that now. I joined up with my Dad and my big brothers long after they had given up trying to celebrate the holiday so it never meant much to me. This year Dean is gung-ho about Christmas for some reason. He keeps talking about childhood memories that he and Sam had from long before I was even born. I've never felt so young.

"Dad was into Christmas?" I grin widely at the thought

"No" Sam says shortly

"Sure he was Sammy" Dean chortles, "remember when he came home with that wreath made of beer cans?"

"Yeah. Didn't he steal that from like, a liquor store?"

"Evan, and the eggnog" Dean rolled up his eyes and dropped his mouth for emphasis

"Wow! That good?" I say excitedly. I've never had eggnog but I've always been curious

"About as good as a gas station could provide" Sam scoffed

"Can we pick up eggnog this year?" I ask Dean

"Sure" He laughs and claps a hand on my back, "I'll whip it up the way Dad used to"

"Alright" Sam sighs, "dude, what are you like, Bing Crosby all of a sudden?"

"Why not?" Dean shrugs

"It's just… We haven't talked about Christmas in years"

"Well yeah" Dean says, "this is my last year"

His words hit me in the gut and suddenly I want to cry. I've never had a single Christmas that I could remember and suddenly the thought of it being Christmas without him next year makes me queasy. Sam says what I'm thinking. He doesn't want to celebrate either because of the same reason. Dean just nods and stops talking about it and suddenly I feel really guilty and selfish.

"Maybe we can still get some eggnog?" I ask laying a hand on Dean's leg

"No it's, uh… It's okay, Evan" Dean smiles sadly and gets up, "alright little guy, Sammy and I are going to go and finish up here. You sit tight until we get back"

"Okay" I say. I don't give him a hard time about being left behind this time and when they leave, I turn on the television so I watch the Christmas specials. After a few movies I doze off on the couch and I don't wake up again until Sam comes in the front door alone.

"Where's Dean?" I ask groggily

"Beer run and gas" Sam says quickly chucking his sweater on the floor, "come on we have to hurry"

"What's going on?"

"Dean wants Christmas" Sam says, "let's give him his wish"

A wide smile stretches across my face and I hop off the couch. "What should I do?"

"Put your shoes on, we have to run to the drug store"

By the time Dean got back with the beer, Sam and I had decorated the room from wall to wall with decorations. The tree was small and we put it on the television, Sam hung car fresheners on it like ornaments, I put the lights on it and taped the "Merry Christmas" Banner to the wall. Sam emptied the carton of eggnog into some cups and uncapped a bottle of whiskey.

"There's alcohol in it?" I asked hanging over his arm while he poured

"Not in yours" He laughed

"Oh come on Sam! It's Christmas!"

"And you're thirteen"

"But"

"And I remember what happened to you the last time you drank"

"But!"

"Here" He says handing me my untouched glass of eggnog. I pout heavily and a part of me wants to moan and complain but I don't. Dean comes in as Sam finishes up with the drinks

"Whoa, what's all this?" Dean asks

"Surprise" I shout

"It's Christmas" Sam says

"What made you change your mind?"

Sam doesn't answer and hands him a glass of eggnog "Try the eggnog"

"I want to taste some." I say to Dean as he coughs

"I don't know little guy, this stuff is pretty strong" He says, "Why don't you two sit down. I got something for you"

Dean gives Sam nude magazines and shaving cream and he gives me a dashboard bobble-head figure of a baseball player. Sam gives Dean a candy bar and car oil, and he gives me a bag of extra buttery popcorn and sports magazine. I'm glad that I was on their wavelength with the present idea and I give each of them some toy trucks that I stole from the drug store. I hope they look like the ones that Sam and Dean used to play with when they were growing up. As we touch our glasses together in a Christmas toast, it is the happiest moment of my life. Sam turns on a football game and we watch it together. Dean even lets me take a sip of his eggnog which I immediately regret as I'm thrown into a fit of uncontrollable coughing.

"You okay, there tiger?" Dean laughs and pats my back. Sam is smiling at me too and I manage to croak out "I'm okay"

"You'll be fine" Dean chuckles and I sit back in between my two brothers and enjoy my first and last memorable Christmas.