Chapter 19: Why Can't We All Get Along

Being alive isn't good enough for all of us. Only me. I could suffocate from all the tension between my brothers. Things are bad for us. Dean is mad at Sam all the time for all that stuff he did with Ruby. He blames him for the apocalypse but I don't. Nobody knew that killing Lilith was the final seal to break to release Lucifer. If Dean had the chance, he would have killed Lilith himself. Sam just beat him to the punch. Dean will get over it soon enough, he knows deep down that Sam was just trying to do what we've all been trained to do all our lives. Kill. Castiel is dead. Some douche angel named Zachariah killed him for busting Dean out of heaven to save Sam. The angels wanted this just as much as the demons did, but you won't hear anyone throwing blame their way for what happened. Dean says he just wants to clean up this mess and not talk about it. Good.

The first time we meet Becky Rosen, super fan, is in a motel room. Chuck sent her to us with a message but she can hardly keep herself together when she sees Sam. It's cute in a way. She's less impressed with Dean and me.

"You're… not what I pictured." She says to Dean. I laugh.

"And Evan. I'm so sorry" She sighs heavy and empathetically

"Why?"

"I've read all about you guys. I've even written a few…" She giggles, Sam and Dean aren't amused but I can't help but smile at her giddiness. "Anyway, Mr. Edlund told me you were here." She tells us that the Michael sword is lost on Earth in a castle, on a hill with forty-two dogs. We head over to Bobby's place for a little help trying to decode what that message means.

He tells us that Michael is the toughest angel in heaven. We start researching whatever we can find about him until Bobby asks Sam if he's all right.

"No, actually Bobby… this was all my fault. I'm sorry"

"Sam" Dean and I say simultaneously but it's too late. Sam tells him that he set Lucifer free by killing Lilith. She was the final seal.

Then, Bobby just verbally tears into him while Dean just watches.

"I'm sorry"

"This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy." He snarls. I can't take it.

"Lay off, Bobby" I snap

"Excuse me?"

"Evan, it's okay" Sam says quietly

"Did you know Lilith was the last seal? Did you, Dean? Because I sure didn't. If any of us had the chance, we would've iced that demon bitch on sight so don't started in on him like you knew better"

"No. He's right" Sam nods, "I should have listened. You tried. You all tried to stop me but…"

I roll my eyes "this is bull"

"When the end of the world comes, we'll see what's 'bull' when the world comes to an end because of this" Bobby growls and turns to Sam, "if by some miracle, we pull this off… I want you to lose my number. You understand me?"

Sam nods. I look at Dean; he's looking at the ground, too hurt by pride to stick up for his own brother.

"There's an old church nearby" Sam says, "Maybe I'll go read some of the lore books there"

"I'm coming" I say without taking my eyes off of Dean, "are you coming Dean?"

"No, I think I'll stick around here for a while" He says to me

"Fine." I say and grab my jacket, "pout then. Big baby" I spit at him and follow Sam out.

Sam acts like a wounded puppy as he flips through pages of his book. I hate seeing him like this. So pitiful and pathetic. It's enraging. I clench my jaw and try to keep my eyes what I'm reading.

"Hey" He finally says. I don't answer. I can tell by the apologetic tone of his voice that he's going to make me regret coming.

"I know it's been a rough year for you. A rough couple of years. You do a lot more than I give you credit for. I want you to know that I appreciate it. Dean and I, we both do. After what I did this summer with Ellen… I shouldn't-"

"Blah. Blah. Blah" I sigh, "I'm going to go for a walk."

"Oh. Uh, sure" Sam nods.

"Pull yourself together." I say as I stalk out. I need air. Ellen calls and asks what happened. She's worried. I tell her that everyone is okay and there's nothing to worry about. Lilith was the last seal and we killed her by mistake. Lucifer is free.

"Nothing to worry about? The devil is loose on Earth and there's nothing to worry about?"

I tell her the devil was loose on Earth long before he escaped the cage. That didn't make her feel better. She asks about my brothers and I tell her that it's going to take a while before she can talk to them. They're working some things out between them.

"What about Bobby? Is he alright?"

"Bobby's a dick"

"What did you say?" She asks in her stern voice

"I said Bobby's a dick"

"You better watch your tongue, boy. Bobby Singer has done more good for-"

"Yeah, I know. I have to go. I'll talk to you later"

"Wait, hold on"

"Bye" I say and hang up and turn my phone off.

It's not a bad day for the first day of the end of days. I go for ice cream and sit on a bench in the park. There are children playing on the slides and monkey bars and mothers pushing toddlers on swings. I can't remember if my mother ever took me to a park like this one, but I'm sure she did. Teenage girls my age push each other in circles on the merry-go-round. Haydn would've loved to do something like that. She could sit at the edge and hold on tight while I ran as fast as I could to spin it. Her hair would fly all around her face and she'd laugh. I don't notice that I'm staring at the group until I see one of the girls whispering into another's ear and gesture towards me subtly with her head. The girl being whispered too covers her mouth with her hands and giggles. Her hair is brown and short, just touching the bottom of her ears. She's wearing an oversized shirt, tight jeans, and combat boots. Why would someone wear combat boots to a park? I turn my attention away from the group who have all seemed to do the opposite towards me. After a few minutes I hear footsteps coming towards me. I look up and see combat boots standing in front of me.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask and raise my eyebrow.

"My friends and I just noticed that you were sitting out here alone… would you like to come and hang out with us?"

I look beyond her and see the rest of them staring in anticipation.

"We don't bite, I swear" She says and brushes a hair behind her ear. It falls back into place. She clenches and unclenches a fist lightly, nervously; her purple nails reflecting light from the sun each time she extends her fingers.

"What's your name?" I ask her and look directly into her brown eyes. She blinks her long painted lashes and diverts her eyes from mine.

"Mel"

"Evan" I smile and watch the rise and fall of her chest. Even under her loose fitting shirt, the curves of her breasts are distracting.

"Nice to meet you" She smiles and extends a hand and I shake it. I follow her back to her group.

"Evan, this is Kelly." She says pointing to the whisperer, "Daphne, and Tina". At least I think it was Tina. All I can think about is how nice it would feel to stroke Mel's soft skin.

"It's a pleasure to meet you" Daphne grins

"Pleasure's mine"

"So, what are you doing out here all alone?" Kelly asks

"It's a nice day. I wanted to walk."

"It is a nice day to walk." She agrees and looks at Mel expectantly. Mel just giggles uncomfortably. So does everyone else.

"Speaking of walking" Kelly starts again, "Mel was just talking about this neat pizza place close by that she wanted to go to. Right Mel?"

"What?" Mel gapes

"Yeah, but she didn't want to go alone and Daph, Tina and I all have to get back home soon, so we can't go"

"Which is a shame, because she's so hungry" Tina chimes in

"I'm a little hungry." Daphne mutters and half smiles at me

"You already ate" Kelly snaps at her

"Do you want to grab a pizza or something?" Mel titters

"Okay" I shrug and she bites her lip. It makes me think of Haydn, "l could go for pizza"

Her friends say goodbye and abandon her with me in a flash.

"They're so embarrassing" She blushes

"Do they do this often?"

"Do what?"

"Leave you alone with random guys you just met"

"What? No! I mean. It's weird. We ditch each other a lot when…"

"When what?"

"When one of us meets a hot guy"

"Wow. Really?" It's supposed to be a compliment, I know, but that's such a stupid thing to do that I furrow my eyebrows at her.

"Well, I mean, it's not like a dangerous thing. It's only with kids our age, you know? How many kids our age are like, serial killers?"

Her naivety is beginning to annoy me but we've already reached the pizza shop so I follow her in.

"So, do you live nearby?" She asks me through a mouthful of pepperoni and cheese

"No. I'm just visiting relatives for a while"

"Oh. Where are you from?"

"Here and there"

"What does that mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Her lips are wet and greasy. I lean forward, grab a napkin from the dispenser, and hand it to her

"Oh my God" She gasps and begins dabbing at her mouth with it, "I'm so embarrassed"

"Don't be" I shrug

"What are you thinking right now?" She asks with a nervous smile

"I'm thinking…" I huff, "I'm thinking that I'd really like to get out of here right now"

"Wow. Really?" She frowns

"With you."

"Wow, really?" She smiles

"Yeah"

"Wow. I like you too. I think you're really hot and totally nice, I saw you at the park and I was like, wow. Guys who look like you are only in like movies and stuff, you know? I've never been with a guy like you before."

"Thanks. What do you say? Want to go?"

"I was hoping you'd ask"

She takes me back to her place. It's small but nice. Her parents aren't home. Her room is beige and the carpet is clean and white. There are stuffed bears and pictures of friends all over the place.

"I know what you're thinking" Mel says as she locks the door behind her, "this is super girlie, but I'm getting into other stuff now."

"Cool."

"My parents aren't going to be back for a couple of hours. We can hang out in here for a while"

"Do you usually take strangers to your home while your parents are gone?"

"Wow. You say that like you think I'm some huge slut or something" She scoffs

"Uh, no?" I say irritably, "but it's pretty freaking stupid if you do."

"I took you here"

"Yeah and you just met me. That's dumb"

"Do you not want to be here or something?" Mel whines

"What is wrong with you? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Okay, Dad, I'm sorry"

"Something's telling me that if your dad said this kind of stuff to you, I wouldn't be here"

"Wow! Okay, jerk. If I'm such a slut then why don't you just leave?"

I make a move towards the door but she blocks it with her body, "wait, don't go. I think it's sweet that you care so much, but why did you come here if you were so old fashioned?"

"I came here because I wanted to have sex with you" I say flatly

"Okay. That's a little more forward than I expected"

"You shouldn't expect anything from me. I'm a complete stranger. I have no interest in you other than sex. We won't be friends. I won't call you. More than likely, you will never see me again. You won't be as lucky with other people you bring here. One day you will bring someone to your home and they will hurt you. Do you understand me?"

"Don't lecture me, what about you? You came home with me and I'm a stranger. How do you know I'm not some kind of psycho?"

"Somehow, I think I'd survive." I puff, "Can you say the same?"

She tilted her chin up at me and put her hands on her hips, "Why do you care so much?"

"It's my job" I say and nudge her away from the door

"Why are you leaving?"

"Honestly, with your critically low self-esteem, I'm not sure if you're capable of consent"

"Don't judge me." She snarls presses herself hard against the door

"Get out of my way"

"What if I told you that I lied? That I only made everything up because I wanted you to think I was experienced or something. Because you're the cutest guy I've ever seen and I wanted my first time to be with you"

"I'd say that you're a liar"

"I just broke up with my boyfriend a month ago. My friends have been trying to hook me up every since. I've only been with one guy, I swear. I just wanted you to think I had experience. I heard guys are into that sort of thing"

"I don't care how many guys you've banged" I feel like shouting at her because she's missed the point entirely.

She stands on her tiptoes and leans in close to my mouth "If you didn't like me, you wouldn't come here" She whispers. She's wrong of course and we both know it. I kiss her anyway. Mel's lips are still slick with oil from the pizza and I can taste the cheese on her tongue. Her fingers lock in my hair and pull. She's short and it hurts so I hike my arms under her legs and lift them to my waist. Her kisses are sloppy and hot. I lower her down on the bed and break away from her.

"Wow. I'm really turned on" She giggles and kicks off her boots.

"Do you have condoms?"

"Yup" She says and pulls a pack from under her mattress, "my boyfriend must have left them or something"

"Right."

Her jeans are so tight that it's a group effort to take them off without tearing them. Everything else comes off easily. Jen's body is softer than hers, it felt better all around but Mel feels great too. She claws at my back and pulls my hair but I like it. Maybe all girls have a different feel and style.

"Oh, Evan" She gasps in an exaggerated whine and shifts so that she's on top of me.

She's beautiful.

"Will you call me?" She asks me on my way out, "I put my number in your phone… By the way, you have like six new voicemails"

"What?"

I meet up with Sam and Dean in the hospital room, Bobby's in the bed.

"Where the hell have you been?" Dean demands

"I was having sex with this girl I met"

Everyone looks taken aback by me for a second, gaging to see whether or not I was serious.

"Well, at least one of us is having a good day" Bobby grumbles

I don't know how Bobby let himself get possessed by a demon but I'm relieved to hear that all that stuff he said to Sam was under the influence of Meg. I didn't want to have to hate Bobby.

In the parking lot, Dean tells Sam that he doesn't know if he can trust him anymore after what he's done. I think it's stupid but I don't say anything this time. I'm still feeling great from my encounter with Mel.

"Where were you today, really?" Dean asks me when we're back at the motel and Sam goes out. Probably to a bar.

"I already told you"

"Really?"

"Really"

"Wow" He says and pouts his bottom lip like he's impressed, "and you used a…"

"Of course"

Dean smiles broadly, "that's my boy. Was she pretty?"

"Yup"

"How did you meet-"

"Cut the crap, Dean." I sigh and kick off my shoes. Dean nods.

"Okay, so you're mad at me. Why?"

"Because you're being a goddamn baby, that's why. Instead of pointing your finger to blame someone, maybe now it's time to stick together."

"I'm trying to, okay? I am literally doing the best I can, but you weren't there. You didn't see him walk out of that room with her"

"I wonder why. Next time don't leave me with a babysitter and maybe I can help"

"I didn't want you in the middle of it"

"You're my brothers. I'm in the middle whether you like it or not. I'm not a kid anymore Dean, I haven't been for a while. You've got to start treating me like one of you guys"

"I know." He sighs under his breath. He picks up his head and smiles sadly "You know all this time, I kept thinking that somehow, someway, I'd be able to protect you from all of this for a little longer. Now…"

"Now we're all in this together"