Chapter 18: When It Hits The Fan, I Know What Matters

I keep seeing her. I'm in my bedroom and she's trying to get me out of the window but there isn't enough time, so she tells me to hide in the closet and I do. Then a man breaks the door open. I think she recognized him. She said the name 'Reggie'. I was there when it happened. I forgot before, but now I remember."

"It sounds like you repressed the memory" Sam says softly, "Evan, how long have you been reliving these memories?"

"Now and then I'd see little bits, but it got worse after Chuck's house. He told me that I was there and it just sort of, clicked, I guess."

Sam types something into his laptop

"Uh, okay, so I found a Margaret Ann Kingsley born April 12th, 1967 in Jefferson City, Missouri, died in Blue Springs, Missouri on June 9th, 1999. Obits say that she left behind a young son."

"Me. Can you look for someone named Reggie?"

Sam types again.

"There are hundreds of people who could go by the name Reggie in the area"

"Yeah, and there's a chance that not one of them have anything to do with your mom" Dean says

"Evan, do you remember anything else about your mom's attacker? Height, weight, hair color, that sort of thing?"

It's strange to be on the other side of the interview this time around. Sam and Dean are staring at me intently, hanging on my every word and trying to make sense of it. Trying to help me.

"I can't remember." I frown, "but he's human"

"Maybe possessed by a demon?" Dean asks Sam

"Probably. It could be something like Adam, demon wants revenge…"

"Why didn't he kill me then? I was right there in the closet"

"I don't know." Sam sighs, "We'll go down there and find out what we can"

"Really? When?"

"Tomorrow" Dean says.

Tomorrow has to wait because Castiel comes to Dean in a dream and tells him to meet him at a warehouse for important news.

The place where we were supposed to meet is in ruins and there's a bloody sigil painted on the wall. When we find Castiel, he's passed out in debris. And he's not Castiel, he says his name is Jimmy, and Castiel is gone.

Jimmy Novak is a vessel and unlike demon possession, the guy actually asked to be possessed. He sacrificed his whole life and abandoned his wife and kid by choice, just so he could feel like he's a part of a greater purpose. Some people would probably think that he's noble for it but I think he's selfish. Was his greater purpose worth abandoning his family? He doesn't seem to think so anymore. He wants to go back home now but it's too late. He's a target now and a danger to everyone around him, which apparently, he doesn't care about since the first chance he gets, he slips past us and heads home.

It doesn't take long to catch up with him; we arrive at his place a few hours after he did and demons beat us to the punch. I'm amazed that they found out about Jimmy so quickly, even more so when they hijack his wife Amelia's body to lure us back. It doesn't look good for all of us, Jimmy gets shot and the demons close in, and then suddenly, Castiel is back. He's using Jimmy's little daughter as a vessel, but my attention is on something else.

I'm watching my brother, Sam, pin a demon underneath his body and suck the blood from her neck, like a vampire. My brother, Sam… raises his hand and kills the demon possessing Amelia before she has a chance to kill us. He has blood smeared all over his mouth. He looks like some kind of monster, but he saved us, and he saved Jimmy's wife from that demon.

Castiel transfers back into Jimmy's body and decides not to tell us his urgent news from before. He doesn't want to help us anymore. I don't care; he wasn't ever much help anyway.

The car ride is silent and tense. I'm bursting with questions but I don't want to be the first to speak. Sam is.

"Alright, let's hear it."

"What?" Dean asks casually

"Drop the bomb, man. You saw what I did. Come on, stop the car, take a swing."

"You were drinking blood, Sam" I say and move up in my seat, "you were drinking blood like a vampire"

"I know. Let me explain."

"Don't." Dean says sharply, "It's not important"

"What? Dean, he was drinking blood. That seems like something worth talking about, right?"

"Nope"

"Dean" Sam pleads

"I don't care"

"You don't care?"

"What do you want me to say, that I'm disappointed? Yeah. I am. But mostly, I'm just tired, man. I'm done. I am just done"

Sam's cellphone rings. Bobby asks us to meet up at his place. Only Dean knew it was a trap. He must have talked to Bobby sometime before we left the warehouse when Sam and I weren't around. They lock Sam in the panic room minutes after we arrive.

I am fifteen years old and my brother is locked in a cell screaming and begging for help while I wait up stairs and pretend not to hear it. Bobby brings me a cup of coffee. I haven't slept all night.

"I know this is hard, son…"

"It's my birthday today" I tell him, "I knew something had to happen. It always does around this time of year. You know, some people look forward to their birthday?" I chuckle but he doesn't laugh. He looks so sorry for me that I look away from him. I take a sip of my coffee and Dean comes up stairs.

"How is he?"

"I don't know" He mumbles and takes the newspaper Bobby stretches out to him.

"The news ain't good" Bobby huffs

"This is what Rufus called about? 'Key West sees ten species go extinct'."

"Yep. Plus Alaska. Fifteen-man fishing crew all stricken blind, cause unknown. New York, teacher goes postal, locks the door, kills exactly sixty-six kids. All this in a single day. I looked them up. There's no doubt about it. They're all seals. Breaking. Fast."

"How many are left?"

"Who knows? Can't be many. Where the hell are your angel pals?"

"You tell me."

Bobby takes a pause… "I'm just wondering..."

"What?"

"The apocalypse being nigh and all...is now really the right time to be having this little domestic drama of ours?"

"What do you mean?" Dean squints his eyes. I look at Bobby to see if he's going to tread with caution. He does.

"Well, I don't like this any more than you do, but Sam can kill demons. He's got a shot at stopping Armageddon."

"So what? Sacrifice Sam's life, his soul, for the greater good? Is that what you're saying? Times are bad, so let's use Sam as a nuclear warhead?" Dean snaps and advances on him a few steps

"Look, I know you hate me for suggesting it. I hate me for suggesting it. I love that boy like a son. All I'm saying is maybe he's here right now instead of on the battlefield because we love him too much."

"It was Ruby, wasn't it?" I ask Dean, "Who got him hooked on the blood?"

"Who else" He grumbles

"Maybe we can start with her. Maybe it we take her out, Sam will get better. Like cutting off his power supply or something"

"I don't think it works like that" Bobby frowns

"Maybe, maybe not. It's worth a try. Worst-case scenario, it doesn't work. But at least Ruby will be dead, right?"

"I'll deal with Ruby. Don't worry. But for now, she's not a threat. She can't get in to see him and he can't get out to see her. What we need right now, is to stop the apocalypse before all hell breaks loose… literally"

"And how do you suppose we do that?" Bobby asks dryly

Dean walks over to the table and picks up Bobby's bottle of scotch.

"I'll keep trying Cas." He says as he fills up a glass, "push comes to shove, we'll take out Lilith ourselves"

"How are we going to do that without Sam?"

"Whoa, no" He shakes his head at me, "I mean 'we' as in Bobby and me. You're not coming"

"But-"

"But nothing. You're not getting anywhere near her"

"You mean near her again… because I've been near her plenty already"

"Fine then. You're not getting near her again" He flashes a quick thin smile and sits down on Bobby's couch

"Why not?" I shout at him

"Because I said so!" He glares, "If you think I'm going to drag you front and center to the freaking apocalypse, you've got another thing coming"

"I'm just as much a part of this as you are!"

"Too bad! I didn't ask for you to be fourteen"

"Fifteen. Dean. I'm fifteen." I say flatly

"Fifteen, sorry. Happy birthday" He sighs heavily and rubs at his eyes

"Thanks"

"But the answer is still no. I don't care if I have to throw you in that panic room next to Sam. You're not going"

"No way! Don't give me that, Dean! This isn't the time to pull a power trip! It's the apocalypse and you are going to need all of the help you can get!"

"Evan, I said no!" He roars at me, "This is not a debate! I said no, that's all there is to it!"

I think it's just the adrenaline pumping through my veins because I'm at the end of my rope. Sam is locked in a cellar downstairs and Dean is going to try to take on Lilith alone again after she literally had him shred to pieces a year ago. I just can't let him do this even though he looks like he's ready tear my head off.

"You are not the boss of everyone" I glower

"Excuse me?" He says as his eyes narrow into slits

"Will you two cool it?" Bobby barks at us but it was more of a request than a command. I ignore him.

"You locked Sam away in the panic room, Dean. If anyone could kill Lilith, it's him. Now you want to go fight her alone? With Bobby? Or maybe your shady angel friend if he even answers you? I won't let you do this. I won't let you die again"

Dean walks towards me but I hold my ground "Maybe you're right. Maybe Sam can take Lilith with his demon powers…" He spits out the words as though they leave a bad taste in his mouth. "…But I'm not going to let him do it. Not that way. Not sucking blood like some…" He stops himself and his gaze hardens, "But you know what, you're right. I'm not the boss of everyone"

My heart leaps for about a half of a second

"Just you" he says without blinking, "and get wind of you even thinking about disobeying me, I'll throw you in that room so fast it'll make your head spin. You understand me?"

I falter. It's what I've been trained to do. Even with the adrenaline surging through my body, all I can do is lower my eyes and submit.

"Yes" I mutter and it's hardly audible

"Good" He says and looks over at Bobby who has clearly decided that he doesn't want to step in between Dean and me. He doesn't mind getting into it when it's Dean and Sam, but it's different with me. Like it's not his place to intervene with me.

When Sam escapes from the panic room, everything else just spirals out of control. Dean goes after him and comes back without him. Sam, all juiced up with Ruby's blood, beat the crap out of him and left. Bobby's got a shiner like you wouldn't believe from where Sam whacked him with the butt of a shotgun. I've never seen Dean this angry before. Bobby wants him to call Sam and make up but Dean isn't having any of that.

"I'll call him." I volunteer with a shrug.

"No" Dean says firmly, "he made his choice"

"He made a bad one. What's the worst that can happen?" I shrug again and laugh, "Not like he can beat my ass through the phone."

Dean and Bobby aren't amused.

"Sam's gone. I'm not even sure if he's still our brother. If he ever was"

Bobby is fuming.

"You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" He yells

"I told him, "you walk out that door, don't come back" and he walked out anyway! That was his choice!" Dean bellows back

"You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your dad. Well, let me tell you something. Your dad was a coward."

Dean squints incredulously at him "My dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?"

"He'd rather push Sam away than reach out to him. Well, that don't strike me as brave. You are a better man than your daddy ever was. So you do all of us a favor. Don't be him." Bobby says

"I said I'll call him." I say louder this time but Dean is gone. He disappeared into thin air. "Dean?"

"Oh hell!" Bobby shouts and knocks some newspapers off of his desk

"Where's Dean?"

"My best guess? Angels got him"

"To bring him to Sam?"

"I hope so"

I call Dean but it goes straight to voicemail so I call Sam instead. I don't expect him to answer so there are no surprises there. I leave him a message on his phone.

"Sam, I know a lot of stuff has gone down between you and Dean, but Dean's in trouble. Big trouble." It's probably a lie but I don't care as long as it gets through to Sam. "Something big is going down, Sam. He needs your help, please. I don't know what to do."

Bobby frowns at me when I hang up, "I'm sure Dean's fine. The angels just probably took him 'cause-"

"It doesn't matter. Bobby, we need to find Sam. Now."

"How?"

"Dean did it, we'll have to find a way"

Trying to track down Sam is harder than I thought, and I knew it wasn't going to be a picnic. There are omens all over and seals being broken across the globe. I don't know how many are left but I'm starting to feel like we're down to the single digits. I call Ellen for help, she says if Ash was still alive that it would be easier to find him but she'll do the best she can. It's not good enough. Night falls and we're not any closer to finding Sam than when we started.

"Castiel!" I scream, "You giant dick! I know you have my brother! I swear! If you don't give him back!" I scream and throw a chair against the wall.

Bobby runs over and wrestles me to the ground as I destroy whatever furniture I can put my hands on. My face is hot and wet with salt and tears. I buck with all of my strength but his arms are wrapped around me so tight that I can't budge an inch. He's stronger than he looks.

"Let me go! Let me go! I have to find my brothers! Bobby! Let go you son of a bitch! You son of a bitch, you stupid son of a bitch!" I cry, my voice is raw and achy

"Shh, it's okay. Evan, it's okay"

I go limp in his arms and cry. He's still holding me tight so I wait while he tells me everything will be okay. I slow down my breathing and sniffle a little. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"I'm okay, Bobby. I'm just scared"

Bobby lets me go and strokes my hair. I use the advantage. I elbow him hard in the gut and make a break for it. I don't know where I'm running to but I can't sit in Bobby's place any longer. I hurry into one of the cars in the yard and hotwire it quick before Bobby makes it to the front door.

I call Sam again. This time it rings.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up, Sam." I plead under my breath

"Evan" I hear after the fifth ring.

"Sam! Where are you? Sam, I need your help"

"Dean's fine."

"What? H-how do you know? He's been gone all day"

"He left a voicemail. He's fine. More than fine"

"Sam, please. Just tell me where you are. We can fix this"

"It's too late."

"Sam, just tell me where you are"

"Goodbye, Evan"

I'm running out of options and time. Someone, somewhere has to know what to do. Somebody has to know. Someone…knows. Knows what Sam is doing all the time. Knows where Dean is at every moment of everyday. Chuck. Chuck knows everything.

"Evan?" His shaky nervous voice picks up, "can I call you back? I'm kind of in the middle of something"

"Chuck. I. Will. Destroy you."

"Look, I'm not supposed to—what? What are you doing here?"

"Chuck?"

"T-t-this isn't supposed to happen"

"Chuck!"

"Dean is here with Castiel. I have to call you back"

"Wait! Let me talk to Dean!"

"Okay, hold on."

There's a shuffling and then I hear his voice.

"I'm okay"

"Dean, what's going on?"

"I'm going to save Sam. We're going to stop this"

"Bobby's worried. He wants to know where you're going to be"

"Let me talk to him"

"He's in the yard. I don't know where, I'll tell him when he comes back"

Dean asks Chuck where Sam is and tells me that they were going to Saint Mary's convent. The line goes dead. I drive. I'm too late. Ruby falls to floor. I run down the corridor just as a bright white light shoots from the floor.

"Evan!" Dean gasps and I throw my arms around both of my brothers. They cling on to me and I hide my face in Dean's shirt. It's the end and we're together. That's all that matters. I can die like this.

"Dean" I hear Sam say, "he's coming."