Chapter twenty one Admiration

It was nine pm when I pulled into the driveway and switched off the engine, then lean my head back against the seat with a tired sigh. It had been a long hectic day and the fact that Martin seems to get off on making me miserable didn't make it any easier. Martin and I had been good friends for so long, so why was he being so hostile towards me and why was he insisting that I was responsible for Kayla's miscarriage?

Martin even seems to be rejoicing about the fact that Kayla had been cheating on me, he even went as far as to say that I deserved it. I couldn't understand any of it and Martin refuses to give me an explanation. I knew that something was fueling Martin's anger towards me and until I finds out what that thing was, things were never going to change between us.

So taking my phone from my pocket I dialed Martin's number. "What do you want?" Martin barked into the phone. "I want you to tell me exactly what I did that made you so angry at me," I said calmly. "You're wasting my time and I have things to do."

"Wait, Martin please, wouldn't it be better to just talk to me man to man instead of attacking me every chance you get and spreading nasty rumors about me to anyone that will listen." "Those aren't rumors, they're facts." Martin sneered. "Come on Martin, we were best friends just talk to me." "Were, been the operative word, I don't need a cold-blooded murderer for my friend."

"What makes me a murderer Martin?" I asks in a hurt tone but he just laughed nastily at my question. "Don't play the innocent with me, I would love nothing more than to tell everyone exactly what you did but I promised I wouldn't." "Who did you make that promise to Martin?" But he didn't answer; he just hangs up in my ear instead.

Running my hands over my face I groan in frustration, then with a heavy sigh I step from the vehicle, open the back door, and take the padded baby seat which could also be used as a carrier and a pink Barbie stroller for when I was taking her for her walks. I opened the front door and walked right into Fabian who was on his way out.

"Hey little bro; wow those look exquisite but shouldn't you at least wait to see if the child Kayla is carrying is yours before stocking up on baby supplies?" Fabian asks teasingly.

"They're not for Kayla's baby, they're for Faith," I replied. "Oh, oh okay, that was very generous of you, I'm sure she'll love them, alright see you later bro but remember, if you need a listening ear just call okay." 'Okay."

I put the carrier and the stroller next to the sofa in the hall and went into the kitchen. Mom was baking as usual, dad was eating a sandwich and Anna was talking their ears off about how she and Miss Alice washed and combs Janice's hair and how cute and adorable Faith was. I kissed my mom and sister on their cheeks then went and sat beside my dad.

"How are you feeling son?' Dad asks. "The same; numb, lonely, confused, hurt, there aren't enough words in the English dictionary to describe how I'm feeling right now dad," I mumble. "Are you hungry?" Mom asks. "Not really, I'll take a sandwich to the hospital with me later," I said as I got up and leave the kitchen.

I was on my way upstairs when dad stopped me. "By the way, what's your plan for the house I bought for your wedding present?" Dad asks. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Well it's not like you're going to use it anytime soon and it's just sitting there so…."

"I'm still trying to deal with the fact that my fiancée has been cheating on me for almost three years, not to mention that she fainted on me yesterday and is now in the hospital because her blood pressure is through the roof and the baby is in distress and now I'm caught between walking away from her to fend for herself and the child or sticking with her to ensure that the child is born healthy, I'm in no frame of mind to make any decision about anything; my love life is literally at a standstill right now, so just leave everything as it is okay." I snap and continue on my way.

"It was too soon for me to ask him that question wasn't it?" He asks his wife and daughter in a sad tone. They both answered by nodding their heads. "Talk about pent-up frustration." His mom said shaking her head with a worried look on her face.

An hour later I entered Janice's room and was totally taken aback by her appearance. The bed was in an upright position and she cradles Faith lovingly in her arms as she breastfeeds her. She was dressed in a light green nightgown and her hair which was twisted very small-framed her beautiful brown eyes, button nose, full lips, and chubby cheeks and lay against her shoulders.

Her skin reminded me of cool dark chocolate and for a few moments, I totally forgot why I was there. "Are you okay?" She asks in a soft voice bringing me out of my trance. "I'm…I'm fine, how're you feeling?" "A little better, those are beautiful." She said looking at the baby carrier and stroller that was still in my hands. "Um… they're for Faith; I think she's getting a little tired of the cot." I chuckled as I continue to admire her hair. "Thank you very much but you didn't have to do that." She said holding her head down. "It was my pleasure; trust me." I smiled.

"I didn't realize your hair was that long," I commented putting the things in one corner of the room, I then walked over to the table and took out a wipe to sterilize my hands. "That's because it has been in one for about two weeks now, not to mention very dirty, your sister helped the nurse to wash it, and then she comb it, I'm very grateful." "I know; I heard her raving about it earlier at home; it suits you, may I?" I ask stretching my hands towards faith who had just finished her feeding.

She places the child in my arms without hesitation and began wringing her hands together. "I know you must have a lot of questions for me, I've been here for five days now and you still don't know anything about me." She said softly without looking at me.

"That's true and if you're ready to tell me then I'm ready to listen." "What do you want to know?" She asks sounding like a frightened child. "Everything but we'll take this one step at a time okay." Again she nods without looking at me. I took a seat on the chair next to her and continue to rub Faith's back gently.

"Okay let me start with what I know from the papers in your bag. Your name is Janice Amelia Dawkins and you're twenty-two years of age, am I correct?' 'Yes." "Faith also has your last name does that mean you are married?' "No, I'm not; I gave her my name, not his.' She said firmly but her voice was still soft.

"Okay we'll come back to that later, where are you from?' "I'm from St. Elizabeth." "Now for the hard part, you said that Faith's father did this to you because you press charges against him; did you press charges after you gave birth or before?" She looked away from me as silent tears ran down her cheeks. "We can stop whenever you want.' I said rubbing her hand gently as I cradle Faith in my other arm. "No, I'm okay." She wiped her eyes and took in a deep breath then winced.

"It was before and if I didn't he would have killed both me and my unborn child.' Faith began crying and I got up and rock her gently. Janice watched the handsome man in front of her cradling her child in his arms if the stories she heard were right then he didn't have children of his own but he was definitely going to make a great father one day and what a handsome dad he would be.

Broad shoulders, nice tone body, kind eyes, gentle touch, and very deep soft voice, an angel wasn't even the right word to describe him, she did hear Miss Alice call him a saint, maybe he was, a sad saint but maybe with her help he could be a little happier, after everything he has done for her and her child, he deserves to be happy.

So after taking a deep breath she continues. "I was three months pregnant with her when he beat me so badly that I ended up in the hospital, the police was called and one of the officers told me that if I didn't press charges the next time he beats me; I or my daughter may not survive, so I did and they lock him up." She explained playing with her hair.

'I spend two weeks in the hospital and when I was released I went back to his house because I didn't have anywhere else to go. My plan was to do odds jobs here and there, save up enough money so I could leave and go somewhere, where he couldn't find me.'

"Did you?' I ask. "No, it was a lot harder than I first thought; I had a lot of cramps and had to stay in bed a lot so the little money I made I used to buy food and pay the basic bills, like light and water." I lay a sleeping faith in her cot and taking up the bag with the sandwiches and drinks I sat back in the chair."

"Would you like to join me?" I ask handing her one of the sandwiches. "Okay." She forced a weak smile as she took it. I then pour some of the juice into a glass and put it on the table next to her. "Okay now continue," I said biting into the sandwich. "Things were alright for a while, I know I should have left but I had nowhere to go." She said fighting back her tears. "I understand," I said softly rubbing her foot.

"The night I met you I had heard on the two o clock news that earlier that morning two men had escaped from jail and Leon was one of them." She said in a soft shaky voice. I pulled the chair closer to the bed because I couldn't hear her clearly; her voice was as soft as a whisper.

"So I grabbed my bags which were already packed and Faith, I know I had to get out of there but when I opened the door, there… he… was." She said as tears ran down her face.

With shaking hands, she drops the sandwich in her lap and covers her face and began speaking behind her fingers. "He pushed me back inside; yanked Faith from my hands and put her on the floor and that was when he…. pushed me….. down on the bed and….." Her tears were coming a lot harder now and her shoulders shakes as she sobs.

"It's okay, I don't need details, I know what he did to you," I said softly sitting on the edge of her bed and rubbing her shoulders gently. "I'm very grateful for everything that you and your family have done for me but I can't be here, he's looking for me and I don't want you or your family to get hurt because of me." She sobs.

An image of Leon taking on his family flashed across his mind and he couldn't help but smile because that would have been the man's worst mistake, the rest of them didn't even have to do anything, they would just have the pleasure of sitting back and watching Caleb the panther tear him to pieces with his bare hands.

"He said that I can't hide from him, he said he has friends in high places like hospitals and in the police force, he said that when he finds me he's going to kill me and anyone that I was with. I've to leave before one of his friends tells him that I'm here." She cried.

I took her hands in mine and felt that she was practically shaking with fear, I had so many questions left but I didn't dare ask her them now, not when she was this upset.

"Shhh it's going to be alright, listen to me, I know you're scared right now but please trust me when I tell you that we'll never let him hurt you or your daughter again and that's why you'll be coming home with us when you leave here."

Still covering her face she began shaking her head. "No, I can't, I'm not your responsibility, I can't ask you or your family for anything else. You've all done so much already and there's nothing I can do to repay you, I've no money, no home, and no family." She said with a shaky breath. "You and your family can't keep taking care of me, it's not fair to you or them, I'm a mother now and I've to find a job so I can take care of my daughter."

"I gently pull her hands from her face and hold them in mine. "Again I understand that it's your responsibility to take care of your child but you're going to need somewhere to live until you're strong enough to do so and I live in what you would call a vault, so him getting in there is going to be next to impossible." I snort.

"And there's something else you need to know about my parents. They've dedicated their lives to helping young people like you that have no one else to turn to." "But…I can't…." "Yes you can, you're not the first young lady that my family has helped and you won't be the last." "But….I…" "No buts, I know you want to provide for your daughter but in order for you to do that you need to get back on your feet first," I said handing her the juice. "Here, drink some of this," I said softly and she took a sip of the juice. "Now eat," I said handing her the sandwich and she pinch off a small piece and chew it slowly.

"You need to get healthy again, you're in no position to do all that you need to on your own, you need help." "But I don't want to be a burden to you or your family." She sobs. "You and your daughter are not a burden to us, we are all helping you because we want to and we'll do it for as long as you need us to; so, will you please let us help you and your child?" She nods her head slowly. I put my fingers under her chin and lift her tear-stained face. "You and your daughter are going to be okay I promise," I whispered softly.

My phone rang and I checked it, it was my dad. "Hi, son…um…how's Janice?" "She's okay.' I replied smiling at her. "Good…um, I'm sorry if I pushed too hard earlier, I was just trying to help." "I know dad but I'm just not ready to go there yet." "I understand, just remember that whenever you're ready I'll be here for you." "Thanks, dad, I'll see you in the morning."

Thank you all for reading

Food for thought

God gives enough grace

For whatever we face