Chapter thirty five Breakdown

Tyler was helping himself to some of the delicious items that Janice had packed in his lunch kit when Jason and Jessica came and sat on either side of him. "Hey T.J can we talk?' Jason asks. "There's something bothering us and we really need to get it off our chest," Jessica adds. "Why do I feel a lecture coming on?" Tyler asks frowning at his friends. "It's not a lecture, just a concern," Jason reassures him.

"Alright, let's hear it then," Tyler said leaning back in his chair. Jason took a deep breath before he began. "Alright listen man; we've known you for a long time now and you're more like our brother than our friend and again we just want you to be happy but we really don't think that you're going to find that happiness with Kayla." Jason sighs as he noticed the change in Tyler's features.

"T.J, what we need to know is why you forgive her so quickly? I mean we know you love her that goes without saying but after what she did, don't you think that you need more time to sort through your feelings?" Jessica asks.

"T.J, this girl has been cheating on you in your own house with God knows how many men. Have you ever stopped and thought of just how close you came to catching H.I.V." Jason asks in concern.

"T.J, why the hell would you want to spend your life with this woman? And don't tell me it's because you love her because there's nothing lovable about that woman." Jessica finishes angrily.

Three different expressions cross Tyler's face before he sighs tiredly and leaned forward. "I know you guys are concerned about me but this is something that I've to work out for myself. As I said before maybe this will work and maybe it won't but I've to try, for my baby's sake."

"That's a load of bull and you know it T.J. you know; I'm beginning to think Martin is right; she does have something on you; doesn't she? And your guilt is what is keeping you with her." Jessica said harshly.

"So what is it T.J what did you do to her? What does she have on you?" Jason demands. "Nothing; she doesn't have anything on me," Tyler answered annoyed. "Really? Look both of us in the eye and tell us that you didn't hurt her in any way and you have nothing to be guilty about." Jessica said sternly.

Tyler looked his friends square in the eyes and spoke firmly. "I did not do anything to hurt or harm Kayla in any way shape or form." He said trying to fight the tears that were burning his eyes.

"The only thing I'm guilty of is leaving my fiancée here and going to Japan. That trip was planned for the both of us and I never should have gone without her. I never should have left her here. I never…." He stopped as the tears he was fighting so hard to hold back came running down his cheeks. "I never should have let her convince me to go without her and I'll regret that for the rest….of my life." Tyler folds his hands on the table, rests his head on it and sobs, and began speaking in a shaky heart-rending tone.

"Kayla is no saint. She had lied to me, repeatedly. She has cheated on me, repeatedly and she has ripped my trust and my love for her to shreds but the child she's carrying could very well be mine and I need to be there for my child. I need to be the kind of father that my father is to my child." He said as his entire body shakes with his sobs.

"Every time she comes near me I wonder if she's coming from a man's bed. I can't kiss her or touch her sexually because every time I try the image of what I saw in our bedroom floods my mind, but I refuse to let my child suffer because of her actions and God help me but I still love… her and I still believe she can…. change." He cried.

He lift his head from the table and took a deep shaky breath but found it difficult to release it and to their shock, he began gasping for air. Jessica immediately ran to his side grabs his oxygen mask and place it over his face and he sucks the air greedily. A few minutes later his breathing returns to normal and he removed the mask himself.

"T.J we're sorry, we didn't mean to upset you," Jason said rubbing his back. "It's not you guys, it's the whole situation, I have no idea how all this is going to end but one thing I do know for sure and it's that no matter what, I need to be there for my child. I will be there for my child." He states.

"And if it's not yours?" Jessica asks in a gentle tone. Ty covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. "Even with a mother like Kayla, I pray to God that it's mine because I have absolutely no idea how I would handle it if it's not mine." He moans, rubbing his temples as he rocks back and forth.

"My family keeps telling me to prepare myself because the child might not be mine but no matter how much I try to prepare myself for it a part of me knows that it would destroy me if it turns out that the child isn't mine." His entire body was now shaking violently and he tried to control his emotions but it was like a flood gate was opened and he couldn't seem to close it back again.

For the next ten minutes, his friends tried feverishly to calm him down between giving him oxygen and rubbing his back.

Later that evening Martin was getting ready to go home when Jason and Jessica entered the locker room and slammed the door behind them. "We need to talk," Jason said in a harsh tone. "What about?" Martin asks casually, unaffected by the hostility in Jason's voice.

"It's obvious that you know something about T.J that we don't and we want to know what that is," Jessica said angrily. But Martin wasn't affected by her angry outburst either. "So I see that your honest and upstanding friend still hasn't confided in you. Why am I not surprised?' Martin snorts in disgust.

"Are you saying he confided in you?" Jason asks. "Nope got my information elsewhere." "So there's definitely something?" Jessica asks curiously. "Oh yes there is and if it was up to me he would be rotting away in a jail cell right now but it's not my place to say anything." Martin yarned and stretched tiredly before putting some papers in his bag.

"T.J needs to grow a spine and take responsibility for what he did and for the hurt he caused but you know what I don't blame the both of you for sticking up for him because a few years ago I would have done the same thing." He said taking off his white coat and putting on a black jacket and taking up his bag.

"But for God's sake guys, open your eyes; the T.J we know now isn't the T.J we knew three years ago." Martin close his locker and walked towards the door but stop and turned back to face them. "You know; he keeps telling me how clear his conscience is and how he has nothing to hide and if he really believes that, then he's a lot more twisted than I thought."

Tyler had just ended his call to Kayla and was fastening his seat belt when Jessica and Jason ran up to his car window. "Hey T.J; wait up a second." Jason gasps breathlessly. "Wow somebody is out of shape." Tyler laughs at his gasping friend. "Is everything alright?' Ty then asks in concern.

"How are you feeling? You know after what happened this afternoon?" Jason asks. "I'm good," Ty said softly. "Alright if you can once again look us in the eye and tell us that you have never in all your five years of being with Kayla, you've never once done anything to cause her harm or pain, ever! Then we'll never ask you this question again." Jessica said in a firm but stern tone even though she too was out of breath from running to catch him before he left.

Tyler opens his car door and steps out. "This is the second time today you've asked me this question. Why is it that you think I may have done something to hurt Kayla?" "Well we don't but Martin does," Jason said.

"Hmm, Martin…. Martin; oh man, we were so close once, but he blames me for Kayla's miscarriage and he feels very strongly about it so there's nothing I can say to make things better between us." Tyler snorts.

"Have you ever asked him why he blames you?" Jessica asks. "More times than I can count but he always avoids the question? He's a lot like Kayla; I can never seem to get a straight answer out of either of them."

"And that's the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with?" Jessica asks. "We've already been through this; now, apart from raising my voice at her a few times and urging her to change; I've never ever done anything to cause her pain."

"Could she have told someone that you did?" Jason asks. "She said she didn't." "And you believe her?" Jessica asks throwing her hands up in frustration. "The woman swore on the Bible for God's sake, but listen all I have ever wanted and still wants is to make Kayla a better person."

"Alright fine that's good enough for us; we'll never ask you about this again and nothing Martin said after this will ever make us doubts you. Have a good night, we'll see you tomorrow." Jason said in a satisfied tone.

"You're a very good person T.J and we hope you find the happiness that you're looking for," Jessica said hugging him. "And if it doesn't work out with Kayla at least you still have Janice," Jason said punching Ty on his shoulder. "Ha…ha, very funny, you're a funny man Jase." Ty snorts. "But I suggest you go home before I hurt you." Ty frown as he got back in his vehicle.

Thank you all for reading

Food for thought

We need not sink beneath the weight of our

Burdens

Ask the savior for help. He will carry your

Burdens and you