Memories of Fear

" Is this a dream" was the first words I said when I saw what surrounds me. I saw myself surrounded by a void which was completely dark, all my senses felt like it was turned off, and nothing in any surfaces can be seen.

By curiosity, I walked farther and farther from the position I was from earlier yet it felt like I have not move from my initial position. Then, suddenly, a vivid light flashed in front of me and illuminated the dark.

From their, I felt I was in a theater. I saw a beautiful woman, with an elegant scarlet hair embracing a child with beauty like hers, it looked like it was his mother. I thought for a moment what a wonderful scene I am watching, not until all the light that surrounds me acted like a stage.

It felt like I was alive in their world but the truth, I was spectating them, not been seen.

My disgusted eyes saw the woman and frail child, with tattered clothes and has bruises, inside a small house that has barely any space in it.

As the sound of the door was heard, the two of them started to tremble while the mother embraced the frail boy tightly. I looked who it was, it was a man around his 30's, drunk and looking at them with an angry expression.

He went towards them, pulled the child from his mother and brutally violate him by beating him up. After the boy was the mother, he exploited and does uncensored actions to her, asking for money. After that revolting show, surroundings began to turn back into an illuminated light.

I thought afterwards ' what reaction was my face showing right now'. Was I feeling pity? Or was it because it because I didn't want it to happen.

Now another scene was shown, it was the child who wanted to enjoy youth. He wanted to have fun and play with the other kid yet what he received was bruises and painful things just because of his status now.

Now that I see it, their hometown was impoverished. I was unable to smell yet I think that this place reeks of wastes. Everything and everywhere was crowded and disorganized.

Another scene again showed up. Different painful memories was shown to me. There was one time that many people do indecent things to him just because of his beauty, like a woman. A scene where he was forced to consistently watch her mother selling her body.

It was true horror. His memories was full of painful things.

Before the last scene, where I saw myself letting the curse sword devour him, something made me wonder.

It was a scene where he was besides the dead body of her mother, still embracing him. Another man showed up and reached his hand saying the words " Do not worry now my child. I am sorry if I have arrived too late but trust me I am not your enemy nor anyone's. Why don't you come with me and make memories together? Is it okay, As-"

It stopped right there. Now I noticed it, all these memories, were the times that woman- like guy felt fear during his lifetime. Maybe I saw it because he was devoured. I do not really know why or any explanation of that, that is what I only concluded.

" That man, who was that? Was that the person who they call master? From my perspective, he was kind. The way he talked, and reached out were like his true feelings."

I clenched my fist while thinking. My jumbled mind was unable to think seeing everything. I don't want to think anymore. Please, stop this.

Wake me up please....

I don't want to think of this anymore....

Stop this!

After the last thought, I had slowly opened my eyes, seeing the reality in front of me.

" So, it is already morning?"

I lifted my upper- half body in order for me to not fall asleep again. As I thought my body still hurts. I averted my sight and grabbed the scythe beside me.

" Now then, time to bail"

I slowly walked towards the window in order to go out but the time I opened it. A woman was seen in the front of the house. By the way, I was on a two story house and I am at the second floor room.

The woman in front was wearing a neat oversized yellow rugby shirt tucked in a fitting black slacks. It was her, Lumia.

' So yesterday she was wearing a upper clothes like that in a white but I wonder, how many does she have?' I thought for myself yet I can't judge her while I am here naked in my upper body just wearing black pants.

Nevermind the clothing. Was she waiting for incase I will bail out? Not just that, she is also prepared, having two long swords at both of her hand. She was looking at me grinning and has the vibe of ' where do you think you are going'

"I guess I can't escape this, I will just go back"

Shesh. Without knowing that those two are curse swords. I can't just dive to death. Beside my body, seriously is damaged. So I decided to went back and properly went down just like when I was back at home.

--------

" So what is the reason for you to put surveillance on me?"

As soon as I met her downstairs, I directly asked her that. Who would not be annoyed by that?

" I have decided what I will do to you, I will let you meet my superior. There, you can both have conversation and I think you will be both fit to understand with each other."

If I remember, she is talking about Nayt, right? Nayt said Lumia was his junior so that makes him her senior. Then, I will just ask her a reason for letting me meet him.

" Why?"

She smiled and placed her index finger near her lips. It was as if she is thinking something that can make me annoy.

" I will let you join in the Knights"

" Huh? Are you insane?" without another word to spare I retorted to her sounding like I was annoyed.

" Nope, I am not. I am totally serious, or would you rather finish things here?"

What a bothersome. She is really toying with me and the most insulting part is her smile, I really hate it.

Tsk. Arguing can't take me anywhere, I will just go along with her for now. Another weeks or so, she needs to watch her back.

" Okay I agree with you."

" Good, then prepare now, you stink and in disorder. I have already prepared everything you needed."

I sighed. She even prepared everything. She reminds me of someone, a bothering person yet cared for someone.

" Okay, then.... Before going to the your state, can I go somewhere?" I asked her just in case because there is something that I felt that I wanted to do.

" Where?" She asked.

" Cemetery"

" Suspicious, hm" she shot leers at me while saying this.

Leaving it like that, I prepared myself. I bathed, ate, and tried clothes just like a normal person.

When I asked her of me going to a cemetery, she told that she will also go and I agreed. It can't be helped since she plans to watch me all the time.

As soon as I reached the cemetery I gathered materials and made something.

" So who is this grave for?"

The dumbfounded woman, Lumia, asked me. In front of us was the grave I just made. It doesn't really matter if she will know so I will just keep it anonymous to her.

" Who knows" I replied

" These name, Ashen. Could it perhaps be the name of the person you fought yesterday?"

Yes, it was him and the person whose painful memories I saw in my dreams.

'She is also correct at this one, why does everything she says is correct?' I thought.

Saying that words, I remarked her with only a glance and continued looking at the grave.

Ashen. This world we lived in is really cruel. I don't know why but something in me tells that you were foolish. Just like me, we lived a life of suffering. But the conclusion was different, you chose to be with him to change your world, right? and I am here wishing to destroy the world. My point is you weren't able to find yourself. I am correct not you....... but what is this feeling, I hate it. The feeling of seeing myself in a feared state at the peak of my life. Also, seeing myself in a pity in front of the person whom I just killed.