Fate.

What does a man who has only one year to live regret? He regrets not loving enough. He regrets not having done so much. He regrets not saying the most important words. And most importantly, he regrets not living the life he always wanted. After all, there is always something that holds a man back. And this something is life, which flies by too quickly. Life flew by too quickly for someone who thought that he would live forever. But nothing lasts forever. For when you think you've reached eternity, your watch is about to stop and your heart becomes nothing more than an hourglass.

Ironically for the whole city of Bangkok, on days that were warm and sunny, it was that one day that was gloomy and rainy. It was a simple day for everyone, but a heavy one for one man who sat in a small office with white walls on which hung posters of human organs. It was quiet and the only thing that suggested everything was still alive was the window. It was through this window that a 30 year old man wanted to jump down, but couldn't. No, he didn't even try to jump. He just looked down and imagined himself down there. But something made him change his mind and instead, he just looked up at the sky and then at a poster of a man and his entire venous system.

"Pravat, you understand me, don't you?" a man with grey hair and incredibly kind eyes asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Pravat?"

"Yes. I understand," the man said and smiled.

"I understand everything. So how long do you say I have to live?"

The man with the grey hair lowered his head. It was hard for him to say it again. It was hard for him because he had seen the whole of Pravat's childhood, who could now barely stand on his feet. He had seen him become a man, a good man and just a friend. He had seen his whole life story. And now, he had to say, repeat what any doctor should have said.

"One year," he said and squeezed his shoulder even tighter.

"P, you don't have to worry so much. I can handle it," Pravat said, though he himself could barely hold back the tears.

"We can heal you. You know that, don't you? The last stage of leukaemia can be beaten now. Medicine is advancing every day. You know that, don't you. We're going to try."

Pravat shook his head and laughed. Taking a deep breath, he looked into the mirror that hung over the sink. And in the mirror he saw a young man with thick black hair, big brown eyes, a straight nose and pale lips. He saw himself, but somehow he thought it was someone else.

"Everything will be all right. You're young. And that's very important. We just have to try harder. It's always about how hard you try."

"Pee Kao, it's all right. I'm fine," Pravat said and headed towards the door.

"So what? You're going to leave it alone? You're not going to fight? You're just going to give up?"

"What else am I going to do? I don't want to spend the last year of my life in hospital feeling terrible. I don't want to do that. You know how much I'm afraid of pain. I don't want to feel pain. Just make me live this year without pain and die without pain. Can you do that?"

"That's it? That's your end? After all you've accomplished? Are you out of your mind?"

"Calm down."

"No. I won't let you die. No! And you'll be cured."

"Look, I don't want to go through all the things that make a man weak. I don't want that pain. After all, in the end, the treatment won't help me anyway."

"How do you know?"

"I know. I just know."

Nervously leaving the doctor's office, Pravat put on his black jacket and despite the news, he smiled and headed forward. As he stepped forward, past the people who were desperately fighting for life, he saw his life. He saw his childhood, his achievements, his sadness and pain. He saw his past, which was always filled with nothing but sadness and despair. And now, to finally close the road to happiness, fate had decided to kill him.

"What can I do this year?" he asked himself as he reached his car. "What can I do?"

"Pravat? What are you doing here?"

Hearing no one, Pravat simply started the engine and drove away. He wanted to be alone. And perhaps he wanted to go somewhere far away right now. For now, nothing mattered. Ignoring the traffic lights, breaking the rules of the road, he drove fast and he could see nothing but the white light that was all around him. There was a noise in his ears and his mind was a chaos of all sorts of memories.

"A child prodigy who understood how the universe works! A child prodigy who knows the answers to everything! A child prodigy who knows more than anyone else! A child prodigy who can speak six languages at the age of 16!"

It was all about him. For ever since he was a child, he had always stood out for his sharp mind and his ability to think differently from everyone else. From a very young age, he understood more than anyone else. He knew all the sciences, he knew how everything around him worked, he could invent, write books and poems. There was nothing he didn't know. Having graduated from school before anyone else, he also graduated from university before anyone else and now, at the age of 30, he was a respected professor at the university who had managed to write many books and articles as well as contribute to physics. Choosing to pursue the field in which he displayed his mental faculties best, he became Professor of Astrophysics at a local university.

"I was the smartest. But what good will it do if it ends up like this?" he asked himself.

Deciding that his life had never made sense, he simply closed his eyes. The speed made him clench his teeth, he thought he would meet his end this way. But suddenly something told him that it was not the right time to end everything like this. Perhaps it was fate itself that told him so. For when he opened his eyes, he stopped the car abruptly.

Feeling a strong heartbeat, he continued to clutch the steering wheel. Sweat covered his whole face and seeing his expression, he suddenly laughed. It was a loud laugh that turned into tears. He couldn't stop laughing until someone knocked on the window.

"Are you out of your mind? You almost killed me!"

Coming back to his senses, Pravat opened the window and asked, "What?"

"Get out of the car!"

Still in a state of shock, Pravat stealthily got out of the car and suddenly someone grabbed his arm and forcefully threw him to the ground. Feeling someone's legs almost strangling him, he looked up and saw a young guy in sunglasses in front of him.

"What are you doing? Let go of me!"

"You almost killed me. Did you want to die? If you want to die, do it somewhere else. Why drag those who want to live too?" the young lad asked, still pressing him to the ground with all his weight.

"It's hard for me to breathe. Get off me!"

"Look what you did to my motorbike!"

Grabbing him by the collar, the young lad lifted him with ease and set him on his feet.

"Look! You owe me money for repairs. Or I'll sue you."

Pointing to the motorbike that had crashed into the tree, the young guy brought him close to his face and when there was only an inch between them, he said, "You owe me a new motorbike. Or I will turn your life into the ultimate horror."

Laughing, Pravat said, "Trust me, my life has always been a horror. What scenario are you suggesting now?"

"Can you still make jokes? Are you crazy?"

"Yes. I think I've lost my mind."

"Crazy or not, I don't care. Give me the money," the young guy said.

"All right. Whatever you want. Just let me go first."

Taking a purse out of his pocket, Pravat handed it to the young lad saying, "This should have everything you need." Saying nothing more, he got into the car and left the young lad alone on the empty road.