Date 8

My cousin who I am close to is a huge cricket geek like the rest of the Indians. They all are crazy about Cricket and they keep hosting a lot of tournaments and have different teams apart from one National team. There are state teams and under 19 teams so my brother was watching an Under-19 match and he told me how these guys have the chance to play for the National team. So I had this idea that these guys are not that famous yet so I have a chance. So I searched for two to three guys and sent them a request on Facebook and after a day only one person responded to it. I am gonna name him X because he turned out to be a little more famous than expected. I texted him a Hi but sadly there was no reply and then I started and he had his number in one of his very old posts, so without giving any thought, I saved it in my contact list. The next day we were going on a family vacation so I completely forgot about the last episode and had fun for the next 10 days. I got a letter from my College saying that our vacation has been extended and honestly I couldn't be happier. But one month flew by in seconds and it was already time for me to go back. We were also shifting to a new Hostel and I am still staying in the hostel because honestly the life there is very easy. I love that everything from dinner to washing clothes is taken care of and if we want to pull a night out then all we have to do is ask our parents to text the warden which is the easiest thing ever and then everything is sorted. So it has already been the third year but I have no intention of leaving for Hostel and the new Hostel that we shifted into is the prettiest of all giving us all a feeling of a 3-star hotel with amazing gardens and cafeteria. They also have an indoor sporting club where we can play basketball, badminton, tennis and do the gym, so definitely ain't leaving for sure. As our new semester started I tried looking pretty and writing nice clothes for college but it only used to start until the first assignment hit and then everybody started looking their worst. The thing is most of my clothes are short so for me to wear them and look good, I had to do regular waxing because I am an anti-shaving person so that was expensive and I avoided it as much as possible. One day, as I was going to class my phone, was in my hand and by mistake, I did a Whatsapp calling and the contact who I called turned out to be that X player and I immediately disconnected the call. Then he texted me after an hour asking who this is and I texted back saying I am sorry I called by mistake. The catch here is you can only call via WhatsApp if you have that person's number saved and I am pretty sure he understood that some stalker has saved my number. After that, he said okay and there was no conversation as such thankfully. I got busy for my fest again and this time though I wasn't part of the culture I was dancing and the dance was so difficult that I got bruises all over my body after the show and couldn't get out of bed for the next two days so it only meant spending the weekend recovering and watching unlimited Korean series. The new room that I got was so amazing because the wifi connection was the strongest there and the view from my window was simply blissful. There was an IT sector opposite my Hostel and I loved how it always lit up and the glass building was simply between but before that was our hostel compound and there were beautiful plants and I could sit for hours staring right at the scene. I like getting lost in a beautiful view and thinking about random stuff. I got some amazing pictures and changed my WhatsApp DP and next, I got a message from that X guy saying nice DP and I got excited and thanked him for it. After that, we started talking and he told me he is into cricket and he played from the under 19 Indian times and playing IPL is the Captain of one of the Ranji team so he is like a mini-celebrity. He asked me where I stay and I told him that technically I am from Kolkata but currently staying in Chennai and he said he is in Chennai right now and will be staying here for 5 more days for a tournament. I couldn't believe that not only that he has texted me but the fact that he is in Chennai right now is an amazing coincidence. He asked me whether I would like to meet him and of course who would say no to such an opportunity. I asked Twinkle whether she would like to join me and she got more excited than me. He asked me to come to visit him in his hotel as he has a match the next day and can't go out because he should rest. I was okay as long as twinkle was tagging along and we were supposed to meet him the next day. I told him that we will reach by 5 and it was already 5 but Twinkle was not ready so I got super annoyed but we managed to leave by 5:40 or something and reached there by 6:20. He picked us up from the lobby and we went straight to his room. I hadn't told him earlier that I would be bringing a friend along so that kind of came as a surprise to him but he was okay. Then we went to his room and we were talking about random stuff and honestly, I had no idea about cricket so Twinkle was mostly talking to him and I was a little nervous. But he made me comfortable by asking me about what I like and what my choices are. I also told him how I would like to join a Gym because I need to lose some weight too which he was like you are already so perfect and you don't need to lose even a Kg. Honestly, when I came back to my hostel I was so happy because he turned out to be a nice guy and I wanted to know more about him and I texted him asking when he would be free next. He told me the day after because he had a match tomorrow so I asked him if he would like to meet me. He was obviously and asked me if I would bring my friend again. I told him that if he wants me to come around I will come alone and he got excited. I didn't want to meet him in the same hotel room again but wanted to go out with him but he was not too into the idea and told me that it is too hot outside so let's chill in my room only. I didn't oppose the idea so much and went to meet him at his hotel. This time he didn't come down because his seniors were here and there and I knew his room number so went straight to his room. Then we ate, played games, watched a movie and then he asked me the most inevitable question that I have kissed before. I was really confused and didn't know how to answer so I told him the truth and asked him and he said never. After that, he was asking me to kiss him and I told him it would be too soon for us to kiss but he didn't care and put me under a lot of pressure. I am kind of a pushover especially at the beginning of any relationship and so I gave in and allowed him to kiss me. But as soon as I sensed he was going for more I stopped him. I didn't feel the kids because honestly it was too early and he didn't give me time to develop any such feelings for him. After that, he wanted to cuddle me and sleep but I couldn't so I left the hotel earlier than I was supposed to. He tried stopping me but I didn't listen and when I came back I felt bad for some reason and started talking to him. The next day I asked him when can I meet him next and he said that he is leaving today which kind of made me sad and asked whether he could come and visit me at my hostel. He initially said yes which got me excited but then he said no and I was sad because I had no clue when I could meet him next. He left the next day but after that, we occasionally used to chat but the only issue was he was more interested in talking to me sexually than romantically which I was not okay with yet. I wanted to know him more before that and see if we can actually vibe together and I always tried dragging out conversation or maybe ending it whenever he got too horny. Kissing four me is not a big deal and I might make out with someone easily if I get that vibe but X never gave me the chance to know him a little more which didn't create that kind of attachment and hence I was always pushing him away which also annoyed him sometimes. He was again in Chennai the next year and asked me if I could meet him and I said yes. Even my friends wanted to meet him and they suggested why don't I ask him to get his friends and we could all chill together. He liked the idea and was okay with bringing his friends so we planned to meet the coming Saturday and called him around 9:30. I, Twinkle and Ankita went there a little earlier to warm ourselves a little and they were right on time. We went outside to pick them up and finally met X and was really happy to see him and honestly wanted to hug him. Then we came inside and I asked him to sit beside me and we all were having so much fun. We all covered together almost Instantaneously and they ordered a lot of beers and drinks. I only drank Breezer because my capacity for alcohol is really low. We were all waiting for Bollywood songs to play and as soon as it started we all set fire to the stage. I was dancing with X and he started getting a little closer to me. Initially, it was fine but then he started grabbing my waist and going down to my ass which was not okay so I pushed him a little away from me which got him a little annoyed and he started ignoring me. Then I started dancing with his friend because he was dancing with Twinkle and meanwhile one of his friends Y approached me for dancing. Then he asked me whether I smoke and said occasionally so he offered me to smoke with him. Obviously, I didn't go along with him and pulled Ankita and after we three started giving in on a different level. He was really funny and told us Stories of all celebrities and then it was almost time for us to leave so he only asked us where we would go. Honestly, we had no idea because we haven't told any of our friends and definitely can't go back to the hostel now. So he is like we will take you back to our hotel and you can stay at my room and I will stay at X's room and he asked him if that is okay. After that, we booked cabs and found out that there is a party going on in their hotel as well and we went to that club, took an amazing seat and drank. This time Y was sitting next to me and X was sitting with Twinkle and Y asked me to drink but I said that I don't have a really good capacity so he said he will take care of me and to that, I drank without any hesitation. He started telling me all these nice things and danced very carefully with me without touching me anywhere and X on the other hand was freely dancing with Twinkle grabbing her a little which got me more annoyed and completely started spending time with Y. Then the party was almost over and Y took us to his room and even X with one of his friends was in the room for some time but after that Y told that he doesn't mind sleeping on the floor and he will stay in his room. X seemed fine with the same and went to his room because he was sleepy. Then he offered us his T-shirt and track pants and he arranged his bedding on the floor, Ankita took the couch and I and Twinkle were lying down on the bed. Then we four started gossiping and it turned out to be so fun, he made us laugh non-stop and at the same time made sure to flirt with me a little in between. He was extra good with me and openly confessed that he liked me and I got really confused then be almost sleepy and Twinkle told me "Kritya doesn't let go of this guy" and I was just questioning myself the whole night that should I be with him or go back to X. But on the other hand, X was not emotionally attached to me and he was only interested physically whereas Y on the other hand was being so nice to me. I had no idea what to do and the more I thought about it the more I felt like I should be with Y. I hardly slept that night and around 5 I woke up to his snoring and then someone came to his room around 6. I woke him up and asked to check who is at the door so it was one of his teammates adding him if he would like to go jogging and he said no and came back to sleep. My eyes were wide open so he brushed his hands through my checks and asked me if I was able to sleep properly and I said yes and asked him whether he was able to send her said no. So I told him if he wants her can sleep on the bed but he said it is okay and asked me if you want he can lie down with me. I had no idea what was that supposed to mean but I said yes and I slept next to him sharing the same blanket and I so b badly wanted to cuddle him and after some time, he'd put his hand around me and we slept for an hour. Then they had to go for a mandatory practice and X came to check on us and I didn't know how to react so I pretended to sleep and he gave twinkle the earnings that I have asked him to keep earlier. I felt really bad for doing what I did but at the same time, I started having a crush on Y and didn't know what to do next. I and Twinkle decided to leave with Y insisted me to stay back so that I can go to lunch with him but I really wanted to go back and freshen up so he quickly my number and texted me as soon as he got into the bus. I came back with Twinkle and had my breakfast and went straight to bed but again get him out of my mind. I could feel him hugging me and only imagined more and couldn't wait for him to ask me out. He told me that we will go out in the evening and around 3 pm he texted asking me if I can hang out with him. I obviously could send wanted to do I said and tried sleeping for an hour so I look so fresh when I meet him next. He asked me for my hostel location and then around 6 he came near my hostel and we went to the beach. This is exactly what I wanted from X but he never understood the importance of connection and when Y was ready to be with me, I was more than happy and couldn't resist the affection I got. The evening was amazing and he tried holding my hand in between and pulling me a little closer to him and then we went for dinner in a nearby Cafe after which he dropped me back at my hostel. I couldn't wait to meet him again and he wanted me to visit him in his hotel and I wanted the same to spend more time with him. Then I asked Ankita if she could join me and she said yes but Twinkle had worked so she couldn't. I also informed and X if we could come and chill because he was the one who introduced me to ask if them so good permission was vital for me. He said he is fine with it and I asked him to come and join us. He said he will try and then I informed Y and told my warden that I will be going to my friend's place and my dad to text her. I told my parents that I am going to my friend's place for some college work. Then we went to their hotel and he came downstairs to pick us. So basically we were four in one room and X did come but only for like an hour and I wanted him to stay but he didn't and left. After that me, Ankita, Y and his friend were chilling and Y tried to patch things between Ankita and his friend. We played Truth or Dare then danced a little and after some time, he started calling me baby which kind of made me happy. Then we have them dare to stay in the washroom for 10 mins and while they were gone Y came very close to me but didn't try anything. Then came my turn and was given the same dare to go with Y and stay the for 10 minutes. We went inside and were simply taking and he was smoking a cigarette but didn't offer me this time and once he was done smoking he pulled me close to himself and made me sat on him. His hands were around my waist and mine asking his shoulder then he looked v into my eyes felt my lips through his fingers and then kissed me. I got really excited and a little turned on and finally, he started kissing me everywhere and I honestly didn't want him to stop kissing me. Then after making out for 10 minutes I told him we have exceeded the time limit and he smiled at me and we went outside. Ankita and his friend we smiling at are and we told them nothing happened and we simply went inside so that you guys can get some time off your own. They were still smiling and taunting us telling don't fool and Y is like so what and we were all laughing. Then, Ankita and Y went to the balcony because he wanted to smoke and while taking we kind of ran into an argument where I disagreed but they both agreed and I came back to the bed and started scrolling through my phone. Y's friend was also lying down so v we started chatting and he told me how he is also looking to start a clothing line and wanted to see some of my work. I didn't have anything then so promised to show him the next time. Y came back after a while and slept next to me and Ankita took the couch so he started cooling me down and then trying to kiss me. I wasn't that comfortable because his friend was in the same bed but that didn't stop him and he was trying to pull me closer and kiss me. After some time he whispered in my ears that I am going to the washroom and you come after 10 mins and I didn't go so he texted me and I read like okay I am coming. He grabbed me without wasting time and started kissing me and it is when I told him that I am a virgin. He told me that he really respect my choices and won't force me but at the same time he tried touching my boobs but I was not okay with that and didn't let him. He told me what is the problem in that and I told him that I feel it is too early which made him mad and he straightaway went to the room took his pillow and blanket and tried sleeping. I came to the bed hoping that he will come back but he didn't do I took my pillow and slept next to him. To my surprise, he had already fallen asleep and I tried pulling him towards myself and cuddling but he insisted that the way he was sleeping is his favourite position so I faced opposite to him and slept. Around 6 in the morning, he woke up and kissed me on my cheeks and I didn't know what to do because even I was a little conscious so pretending to sleep. Then he tried cuddling me and went back to sleep. After some time he woke me up and be he was not annoyed but rather in a happy mood. His friend was not in the room and Ankita was sleeping so he started kissing me and we made out a little in the morning. Then I went into sleep in bed with Ankita and Y went to the washroom and I didn't feel like getting out of bed but he was insisting that we have breakfast so asked us to freshen up. Then X's friend came to our room but X didn't come and Y went out to meet one of his senior for some time and it is when I asked their friends if X is okay and definitely be doesn't mind right?! To which they replied he does and like you so much and even before we were coming to the party he told all of us to not pick on you because he said Kritya is mine and they were like he liked you for 2 years. I was shocked to know that and really had no idea how to react and told them please help me because honestly, I have no idea what should I do now. Then they told me don't worry we will mend everything with X but you stay away from Y. After that I asked them not to leave the room and stay here so that I don't end up being alone with Y and during this entire scene Ankita was in the washroom. After that Y came and he said to his friends what are his still doing here and he forcefully sent them away and came closer to me but my mood completely changed and started seeing him as the person who spoiled things between me and X. I didn't want to see him and leave immediately but didn't want to tell him anything now because I was honestly unsure about my own feelings. I felt as if I was swinging here and there and needed a balance but as long as I stay in this room I will not find that and wanted more time to think about whatever happened and whatever I did and his can I rectify it all and go back in time. I wish life could be this simple that you can erase a day from your life and I felt so disrupt m disturbed that it got me questioning whether I really like X and all this time I had no clue or maybe I liked Y but I am so under the guilt of hurting X that staying with Y seemed impossible and when things get this complicated it is better to leave things because the more you will try to mend him the more cracks you will have in a relationship because sorting things out doesn't always necessarily mean peace. By now Y had already sensed that something is wrong and he took one corner of the couch and dear there and doing something on his phone. I said but to his friends and him to he just looked up said a bye and went back to looking at his phone and I could feel the sadness on his face. I questioned myself a thousand times while going back to the college that am I this evil and how could I did something like this to someone like them. They have been the best people to us especially him and this is how I have repaid them. But I was positive that I will do something about it and at least mend my friendship with X because at the time this seemed more important. I called his friend after college because X was not talking to me so properly and asked him to arrange a meeting between us and he promised but nothing happened for the next two days. I was waiting and even asked X whether I could meet him but he didn't and told me they have matches will be lined up so he won't be able to make it. Then at last when nothing worked out I did an audio recording explaining how everything unfolded and how much I am sorry and asked for his forgiveness and sent him the same. He didn't reply to that but after that, he started behaving as if nothing happened and he asked me to chill not that one thing were not okay and honestly I even missed Y so much. I was very sad for days and cried most of the time to have spoilt my relationship with both of them and now there is no turning back from it and honestly, I deserved it. They left the next week and we couldn't even meet. Ankita was talking to Y and he indirectly told him that he was a little heartbroken and didn't expect things to end so abruptly but I had no other options because if I kept my relationship with Y it would only mean that I'd been hurting X so ending it with Y was the only way out. This semester was so also almost getting over and it was time for me to go back to Kolkata and rest there for a month and honestly I needed it because this time the break-up was not bearable and I wanted a fresh start again. Sometimes I used to wonder what if Y was the one and what if I lost him because it was really good to have him around and the few dates that we have been together wearing magical.