Date 9

I never realized how time flew so quickly and I was in the fourth year of my College and now we have no time to waste. Also an update I still haven't left my College hostel and I found this very amusing because sometimes you don't exactly know what you want or you end up liking and I was surprised at how I have stayed with me the longest and yet don't completely know myself. Meanwhile, since our College and hostel is really pretty so that give out the campus for Ad and movie shoots and sometimes when these people need actress we also audition to take part. And like this, I had a shoot coming Sunday at my College for a Saree Company and had to leave around 6:30 in the morning and thankfully two-three juniors we also going along with me we went to the College campus together. We were a little early and the arrangements were still going on and the Make-up artist was still not ready so we were simply roaming around. Then the professional actors started coming and there was this one guy who was really cute and I wanted to make friends with him. And then another actor came in who was also masculine and hot which was a very rare sight in Chennai. And thankfully I had an entire day so I could find a way to know him. Then one of my classmates was also selected for the Ad movie and he came and I was sitting next to him when he asked that earlier Hot masculine guy about when the shoot will preferably start and he said maybe in two hours and since even he hardly knew anyone so he joined us which made me happy but my mission was not completely successful because I wanted to know that other cute guy as well. We three were chilling out when the Hot Guy Krishna asked that cute guy Parv if he is also for the lead role because the shoot required two males in lead roles. He said yes and joined us which made me so happy because it was so easy and the best part was I didn't have to put by work into it. Then we were being called for Make-up where I joined my juniors and we were hanging out and the by the time we came back one segment of the Ad shoot already started and my two beautiful friends were in the center playing their part and every time there was a break out change they both used to look at me and either make a really funny face on how everything is so boring and they have to do so many retakes which made all my juniors friends curious and they asked me if I know them from before. After that, I quickly changes the group and mostly started hanging out with both of them and especially with Parv because his rules were a little less compared to Krishna and I was happy because he was my first choice. Then we three went for lunch and then they wanted to smoke so I took them to a nearby cigarette and tea shop. Parv was really funny and we vibes so much more than I vibed with Krishna. Meanwhile, Ankita came to college because she had to buy something from the stationery and I spotted her so I took Parv and introduced him to her. But she freaked out a little because she came to college in her Pajamas and messy hair and since Parv was really hot, cute, and Tall which made her a little insecure. Honestly even I was also a little insecure because he was a foot taller than me. Then we hang out for an entire day and finally, it was pack up time and everybody was getting changed into their clothes and we three were almost saying bye to each other. Krishna waved us bye and left with his dad while I and Parv were looking into each other and things were a little awkward. I could see that he didn't want to say bye then finally he asked for my number and I gave him and he hugged me and said goodbye which got me so excited. I again joined my juniors as they were leaving for Hostel and they asked me about Parv and Krishna. I didn't tell them that Parv asked for my number but they were like he must be on Facebook and started searching which got me a little jealous and I was like what if he m they approach him and he says yes. All this m these thoughts were juggling in my mind but I was really happy as it was a very nice day and when I reached my room, Twinkle and Ankita were already sitting there excitedly waiting for me to tell them what exactly happened and I narrated the entire story and they were "Awe" about it and almost as my story was about to end Parv's text came. We chatted a little and but I got to know the far he stays far away as it took him 3 hours to reach my College. For the next three months, we kept planning to meet somewhere in between but that never happened as it kept canceling because of some reason it the other. He asked me if I could come to a house party but my friends were not into it and I couldn't make it as well. So every month once we texted each other saying let's meet but that never happened and it was mostly me and him like 30% of the time but we have up I guess but he kept in touch complimenting me on my new DP or status. It has already been the months to that as shoot and since nothing worked out without him and me we left it.

My birthday was approaching and the Party Manager who was friends with us had a crush on me so he used to take me and Twinkle for lunch and dinner quite often. One fine evening Mr and Twinkle were chilling and since our life was getting boring we thought why don't Twinkle will ask the manager to take us out for a surprise dinner for my Birthday and she will ask him to send me anonymous gifts and if I show interest in knowing the person who has sent it then she will reveal him and then try to patch us up which was not happening because he was nowhere my type so instead I will act being annoyed and Twinkle will never tell me who it was. This was a very mean plan but we were like it is okay and twinkling started texting the manager to get the things done. The manager seemed excited about doing it initially but the next day he was like surprise lunch and all is fine but sending out anonymous gifts would be too creepy so instead, he will give me flowers for my birthday. Even though fast sounded okay and thinking of it who how desperate and single was I in my life to do to that. On the day of my birthday, me and Twinkle left for a cafe where he has called is and I was pretending to not know and I acted surprised when I saw him that and your him that I was expecting you because I saw you calling her at this time which is a little out of the normal and since Twinkle is like someone has invited us so it must have been you. Honestly, I have never done this in my life before and it was hilarious for us. He asked us what would we like to eat and I said White Pasta and since Twinkle one he hated Mixed Sauce Pasta so she ordered herself that. The manager shared a little pasta with me and then asked the waiter to get the cake which was sweet and then I celebrated my birthday and he gave me flowers which were again very sweet v and I started feeling bad but in the end, it was a good day and we came back right on time. It was only a month left for our College to end and then for the last semester we would be going for our Graduation Project where we have to work in a company, make a college for them and present the same for our Final Jury. So we were all busy looking for Companies and in the meantime, I got a text from an unknown number saying '"Hi" and I asked who is this. The guy replied saying he is Krishna the actor/model from the shoot and he had some work with me and asked me if he can call me. I was okay with him calling but curious to know how he got my number because he never you out while leaving. Then he called me and told me that how one of his friends is looking for a female actor who should be a College student and Bell long to North India and he immediately thought of me and wanted to refer me and so he called me asking if I am interested. I asked him how he got my number and he told me that one of his Direction friends gave him and asked me about available dates a be then started talking to me about random stuff. Two days into it conversation I got to know that the Project he was talking about was just a way to approach me and he wanted to talk to me. In general, he was a really funny guy and he would make me laugh on a different level and he used to call me every night and we used to talk for hours. Then finally he asked me if I'd like to go on a date with him and I had no issues. We decided to meet for a party and I was not going alone so asked Twinkle and Ankita to join me. One of our classmates also joined us and went to a small cafe pub which was fun. Then he randomly asked me the next day if I'd like to go to the beach with him and I said yes and told him to pick me up after my Gym class. After that, we met again for coffee and he asked me whether I would like to go to the party with him and stay for the night. I told him the party was okay but I am not sure about staying and asked him whether get does he wants to stay. He told me this is a hotel kind of place near the Pub and he can book it. I told him that I can't stay alone with him and I will have to ask my friends to come along initially he was not okay with it and wanted to spend time around with me but when he sensed that there is no chance that I would show up all alone then he agreed to the Idea. He told me that he will book the room and first we will go partying in the club and chill in the Hotel Room. I and Ankita left for the party the next day and he was supposed to join us directly there. Twinkle was also joining us but with one of her friends and they all came in like an hour after us. The party was good but it was the same club where we went with X and Y and thinking about it made me sad. I couldn't get over how happy I was the last time and that made things even worse this time. Krishna seemed too excited which was irritating me a little and I started avoiding him and Twinkle was like don't avoid him because after paint it started getting too obvious that I was avoiding him. But I couldn't help it if I was not in the mood then I can't pretend to like something I don't. It was almost 2 a.m and we decided to head back to the Hotel and we chilled there. Twinkle then lefty with her friends and Me, Ankita and Krishna was chilling together on the terrace. He was honestly a good guy but the fact that I miss Y so much has taken me and I couldn't think about anyone else. I told Krishna also that how I am so much in love with Y and made a very sad face because by now he knew that no matter what he does he won't be able to get me and this date is not going to continue any longer. I was trying my best to move on and I was doing good but that club took me to square 1 and I knew it would be impossible for me to date him. But he didn't give up so easily and tried to convince me into liking but I get very stubborn after a point and I have reached that point with him. We all had fun and since I had an early morning shoot, I left around 6 in the morning with Ankita and I don't know what got into him started calling me from 8 in the morning and I told him I was busy so he called me again at night and I didn't feel like picking up because I haven't slept the last night so I put my phone on silent mode and went to sleep. The next day there was 28 missed call from his number and I was like the should be an emergency for him to call me so much and I called him back. He immediately picked up and asked me where was I and I was like I was sleeping like all other normal people to which he said he just freaked out a little because I was not picking up and kept calling. 28 missed calls, for this reason, is not convincing and I told him that I don't we can work out because I am going to Mumbai anyways for my graduation project, and for the next 20 days that I am here in Chennai, I have a hell of work to do so it wouldn't be possible for me to give out time to someone out something else. By now I was sure Karma is going to bag me so hard because I have been a bitch thrice in a row and my actions will definitely have an outcome but again I can't pretend and if I can't feel for something I can't compromise or convince myself. I had to block him from everywhere social media that we connected in for him to finally stop and give up after which he started texting my friends and flirting with them. A very cheap trick to get my attention but I didn't do anything about it and moved on with my life. Getting over Y and accepting that X is not coming back wasn't easy but thankfully I got so busy that I didn't have time for all that and focused completely on my work. After my jury was over I was supposed to head back to Kolkata and then go to Mumbai which was exciting because I always imagined myself settling down in Mumbai. The first time I fell in love with Mumbai was in class 8 when I went there with my parents and it is when I decided I will work and live here. There is something about Mumbai, it is like the New York of the USA as it gives you a kind of passion that no other city can. It helps you to dream and the people there are very chill so you will altogether like the vibe of the city. But before we unofficially say bye to college it is time to click pictures and roam around Chennai, going to the beaches and thinking about time quickly flew. At the same time, Krishna was calling me from a different number and since flirting with my friends didn't get him any such attention he told them he misses me and how we should get back together. Honestly, it wasn't him I was running away from but myself and the feelings I had for Y and the guilt I was still holding onto because of X and I deserves every bit of this so I really never questioned God on why he did what he did because at normal times I definitely do that. So this situation was something I have asked for and I needed at least a month to myself to actually and reflect back and on how could I gave in so quickly. It wasn't supposed to be like this and I must at least respect the age I am in, not a teen anymore but Should be more responsible about my action. And at this moment if I have to date Krishna then it would only mean that I am not just faking him by myself as well living in a shadow of lies and deception. So instead of ghosting him I called him for a Coffee and he came with all the excitement and then I explained everything and I told him that it was wrong on my part but I was never looking to date you as well. I asked him to not keep any ties with me because I know that it will only worsen the situation because I am different as I person and if you become my friend now then you would expect me to be responsive but if I am your friend then I will only behave in a way that I behave with others and that you won't be able to accept so it is better to go our separate ways and not look back or hang on to each other. We all have our own demons and right now I am fighting my own trying to become a better person so it is not wise for me to be with you or anyone for that matter. he understood my plight and we promised to not have any bad feelings for each other and in case there is any misunderstanding then we will not think about it and move on. I unblocked him from everywhere but asked him to neer text me and I don't how did he feel but this is very important in any relationship to wish the last goodbye and exactly tell them how you felt so they don't live in a state of confusion or hope.