CHAPTER 1:The End Of The Beginning

It was a fine day back then. I still remember her smile before i ended the video call last night. A smile curved my lips as i created the image of her smiling inside my head. I can never find the right amount of words to explain how lucky i am to have her in my life. She was everything i could ever ask for. She made me see the beauty in this world. She was the reason why i wanted to be better everyday. I wanted to be better for her. I was dreaming of giving her the world. She was my life, my anchor, my lighthouse. I already forgot how to live alone when i met her which i wish i never did. I still remembered that day crystal clear. It was the day i blame God for everything. It was the day my world started crashing and my heart was torn into tiny million pieces. It was the day that mark the beginning of the end.

I didn't saw Bria, my girlfriend for two weeks now, we haven't seen each other because she is taking hr vacation in their province in La Union, that's what she told me. Even we are apart I always made sure to check up on her.I would always remind her to eat her meals and to rest and get enough sleep. She told me it was cringe worthy and that i was corny to tell her those things everyday. In just want her to be safe and make sure the she is good even if she's out of my sight. One day, I get up with normal morning routines and got to school. I was excited and happy while walking towards the room at the end of the hallway with the thought of Bria waiting for me there with her normal sweet smile. It was our first day as colleges we were freshmen back then. We've been together since we were tenth graders and now here we are, slowly entering the world of grownups. My smile widened when I saw the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my whole life standing outside the door and obviously waiting for me. As soon as in got there i stand beside her back but she doesn't seem to notice my presence so i decided to tap her shoulders. Her face brightened when she saw me "I wonder what's inside that pretty head that you seem too pre-occupied" i said while smiling at her. She smiled at me and then whispered "you won't even know" and run inside the room.I ran after her and sit beside her "hey that's unfair. What's on your head pretty girl huh?" she just shrug her shoulders and started laughing enjoying the advantage she has over me. We were both laughing when she stopped and started massaging her forehead. "What's wrong?" i asked her worriedly. She just smiled at me to tell me that everything's just fine but i noticed something's off with that smile but i just smiled back at her maybe I was being paranoid over nothing. Until the classes started and I noticed that she can't focus in our classes and when she was asked by our prof about something she is well known to be great at, she said she already forgot about it and that she didn't known the answer. I was in shock and convinced that something is really wrong with her that day. I saw some of our classmates that were our classmates since middle school gave the same reaction and some are even whispering something. I mean, she is the one and only Brianna Kennery Lopez, the goddess of mathematics when wen we were at middle school before. She was known to be a mathematician she aces math exams and she even mastered algebra and calculus during her freshman years in high school. Everybody in our sschool know how smart my girl is so how come she doesn't know how to answer a simple algebra problem now? Something is really going on with her.

When lunch break came i took the chance to talk to her. i asked her what's wrong and is there something bothering her. She did not answer my question and switch the conversation about hr vacation in La Union. "You wouldn't believe me that was so embarrassing i thought he is just my cousin but turned out he's my uncle. I had no idea that he was their bunso. She was laughing so hard while telling her embarrassment story as what she call it. I really want to ask what's wrong with her but i didn't want to ruin the moment so i let her tell her stories. She keeps on laughing and smiling while talking and i just stared at her and sometimes nod. While staring at her i just realized how blessed i am. i don't know what i did in my past life that I was born in this lifetime as God's favorite. No one ever came close to her in my heart I've been so in love with her since day one and now that she's finally mine I won't let her go no matter what but little did i know, there would come a time where i would have to let go of her hand and let her fly no matter haw hard and painful it would be.

Days and weeks had quickly passed and i keep on noticing strange things about Bria every day. Some days she would just be gone, she would not attend to our classes and won't call or even reply to my messages then i would be damn worried about her and when i visit her house during those days it was strange that no one's there. When she came back i would scold her telling her how worried I was and that she should tell me where she would go and not just disappear like that because it left me so worried and paranoid and she would just say that she's sorry and she would promise not to do it again but after just a few days she would disappear again without leaving any trace and the cycle goes on , she will come back as if nothing happened. I found it strange 'cause it really is and every time i ask about it she would say it,s nothing and that i should not be so paranoid over her disappearing hobby 'cause she just stroll around during those days and she wanted to take a break and be alone. So, no matter how i wanted to ask about it and tell her that i know there is something going on and she needs to tell me, i kept silent because i know she would just give me her same old reasons if i ask thus, i kept quiet. Weeks had passed and i just got used to her but you know, there are so many things that changed about her and it was just so sudden that's how i know there,s something wrong.

it actually breaks my heart every time it sinks in to me that she changed and that in feel like she is starting to distance herself from me. I want to talk to her about how I'm feeling but I'm afraid that it will just make the situation worse and I'm afraid that I would really lose her and i won't be able to handle that so no matter how painful it was for me, no matter how hard i was hurting, i stayed silent about the things i noticed and like her, i acted like there was nothing wrong. For me, that was the best way to save what we have and for me to keep her still, i endured all of the pain i she was making me feel. I love her so much that i would stay even if staying pains me because it would pain me more if i'd lose here.

I was starting to just accept that she changed for when those behavior continued on for a month for the sake of our love but then i found out something i wish i never did and for a moment my whole world was crashing down and my whole system can't even function right. At that moment I was so afraid of not having the future we both dreamed of having. I was so scared that i would be lost in life if i lose her. That was the first time I was scared of losing someone in my life. That night was so restless. i never sleep, no scratch that. I can't sleep having that thought running inside my head all night and that was alsothe day i disappeared leaving with no trace without anyone knowing where I was not even her because i can't even talk to her after the night that i found out.