ALL FOR NOTHING

My heart stopped for a second. I wanted to break out into tears. I ran into my past that I never want to face again. I am just happy that I call it 'past' but it always comes up no matter how much I try to bury it. Once I tried to kill Leah with a knife, of course that was not on purpose. I was suffering from mental anxiety and depression. Why do I feel everything a lot? I wish I was made normal like others out there. I still remember people running to me and grabbing the knife, aunt taking Leah in her arms and wiping her tears. The next thing I see is a hospital and not any hospital.

I couldn't speak another word to Aunt. It felt like a long steel wire was tied around my neck. Aunt took Leah from the car and walked inside the house.

Thank God Leah is safe. If something would have happened to her... I don't know, I don't want to think.

My phone rang and it was Amanda.

" I am so sorry Li, my phone was on silent. I know you are mad at me because of the whole party thing, so I decided not to go. I just thought through it and I felt that spending an evening with you would be calm and happier. That's how I want things to be."

Should I be happy because of her right decision and the consideration that she gave me or should I be sad because all the rush I made, all those words I heard from her dad and all that Leah went through was all for absolutely nothing?