P a s t

ALEX'S POV

I looked out the window. Maths had to be the most boring class in the world. With it being boring, I had no choice but to dig into my fantasies and thoughts.

It has been a week since Julia's sister left. She was not doing well at all. I couldn't help but wonder how someone could leave their own sister just after their parents had died.

Her sister was so fucking selfish.

I knew she needed me and I had promised her that I would always stay by her. I made up my mind to go visit her after class that day.

She was taking some days off from college to deal with her loss. Maria was taking her notes and passing them to her for the time being.

As soon as college ended for the day, I swung my backpack over my shoulder and ran off. I saw Brandon in the corridor, coming out of the library.

"Hey wait," he stopped me. "Where are you running off to?"

"I need to go see Julie," I said. "I know she needs me right now. I wish I had skipped the day, too."

"To your Juliet, again," he sighed dramatically. "Okay, fine. I was just wondering if you would spend the evening at my place. I was calling some friends over."

Rich boy.

"Thanks but I'll have to pass," I said and he nodded.

"Thought you'd say that," He smiled. "Go then. I won't hold you back from meeting your love any longer."

I took off again. By the time I reached her house I was panting so heavily and it felt as if my heart would come out of my chest. It's been so long since I had run like that.

I opened the door to her apartment - always unlocked - the one where she used to live with her family once. But now it was so empty. The familiarity of the emptiness made me shudder. The silence was so heavy and pronounceable inside the apartment.

She wanted to start working so she could pay for herself after sometime and stop wasting the fortune that her parents have left behind - untouched by her sister - but we both agreed that she needed some time before she could do anything.

I offered to take her up on the cost. My father was a businessman and we were - maybe not as rich as Brandon's family - but we had more money than we needed. I wanted to take care of her but she refused. She said that she would do everything with her own sheer effort. Though I admired her determination and strong will, I didn't want her to go through so much all at once.

I found her in the kitchen, sitting on the floor, crying silently. I hurried over to her, and she shook her head and squirmed away.

"Julie, no, no," I was bigger and stronger than her so easily overpowered her protests and hugged her. After she was in my arms, she stopped struggling and buried her head on my shoulder.

"I'm such a loser, Alex," She sobbed. I noticed her legs which have gone as white as the tiles on the floor and knew she must have been sitting in this cold for a very long time for that to happen. I pulled her whole body till it was caged in mine. "I lost everybody that mattered to me. Dad never loved me. He always used to say Richie was a lot better person than me."

Richie, that bitch of a sister of hers.

"Now I think she is. She always did the right things in life. She left me... who would want to stay with me anyways..." I hugged her tight. I knew she wouldn't stop even if I told her she was the most beautiful being in the world and I would never stop loving her. I wanted to tell her I loved her more than anything else in the world and would always stay no matter what happened. But I let her talk, because only then would she be able to get the frustration out of her system.

"Mom didn't care either," She continued. "If she cared... she'd be here today... She killed herself. On her last day... last day I'd told her how much I loved her. And... and..." She sobbed, her breath coming out in small gasps. "And she said she loved me too. But when I woke up in the morning... she wouldn't wake up. She was... gone. After all that... she was gone," She cried harder.

I hugged her all this time, holding her hand and caressing her back as she cried and cried. Eventually when she fell asleep I lifted her and took her up the stairs. After tucking her into bed, I sat down, grabbing my hair with my hands and pulling them with more force than necessary.

I was no match for her. She was falling apart, breaking into pieces and all I could do was watch. I couldn't help her, I just didn't know how to.

I looked at her face and realized my eyes were teary,too. My cheeks were wet with tears, and I quickly rubbed them off.

I needed to go away from her and I suddenly remembered Brandon's invitation. I decided I'd rather crash there than at my house.

When I reached his bedroom, it was all his usual buddies and for a change - he had brought girls.

One of them, the most beautiful, was one I recognized as Julie's classmate.

Veronica Adams.

"Hey Alex!" She greeted cheerfully as I made my way towards them. She had a very high pitched voice.

"I thought you were not gonna come." Brandon walked over to me and handed me a beer bottle. "Looks like you can use one."

I took a sip and looked around. As my gaze landed on one of the girls, she blushed profusely.

I knew I had an impact on girls, thanks to my ever beautiful face but I had given up playing with girls' hearts long time back. I was committed to only one person then, and I knew I would never ever leave her.

I sat down on the edge of the King sized bed in the middle of the room and Brandon looked at me. "You doing okay?"

I nodded and he eyed my bottle.

"Do you realize you're sipping on an empty bottle?" He asked and I suddenly understood he was right. He tossed me another bottle and I threw the empty one at him.

I didn't even realize when the whole night passed by. When I woke up in the morning I realized two things.

First - I was not in my house or Julia's.

Second - I had someone lying beside me.

I turned around and sure enough, there lying was the blond head whose back was to me and she was naked.

No.

No no.

No no no no no no.

I jumped up and noticed my clothes were on the floor.

"Fuck!" I shouted out loud and the person beside me stirred in her sleep. I didn't even bother to look at who she was as I began picking my clothes up from the floor and wearing them.

"Alex?"

I took a deep breath as I recognized the voice as Veronica's.

That's when I realized the blondie going down on me last night was not a dream.

What had I done?

"I'm sorry, Vero," I muttered, looking back at her. "Whatever happened last night I am so sorry, that was not supposed to happen and you know I am committed to -"

"Hey, calm down," She sat up, clutching the bed sheet to her chest. I had no intention of looking at her anyways so I looked down. "I know and it's okay. If you don't want me to, this will never get out."

"I - but how could you have sex with me?" I looked at her eyes, mine burning in rage. "You could've pushed me away."

"You were too needy, Alex," She blushed and looked away. "I couldn't. You kept begging me for one night."

Great.

So I was the fucking beggar.

I knew it had been a long time since me and Julia have had sex, with so many things going on in her life, but never did I realize I was in so much need.

I looked away from her and started walking out. I was the most lowly and pathetic person in the entire damn world. I cheated on my partner.

I fucking cheated on her.

"Alex, look out!" Veronica cried out and I banged my head on the door. My head throbbed as I massaged it and then opened the door. "Don't tell anybody about last night," My stare bore into her eyes. "If you do -"

"Don't worry about it."

With that I was out the door, down the stairs and on the road. I realized I was in her house as I got out and that she was looking down her window at me but without another backward glance I walked away.