E m p a t h y

ALEX'S POV-

I knew she would be there.

I knew, yet I came.

Since morning I'd been having a feeling that something was going to happen. And I was right.

I was hoping I would get to see her, at least once. And when I've actually seen her, it was taking my all to stand there with Veronica, watching her run out the door.

I swear I saw her crying, as her legs carried her away from me.

"What happened?" Veronica nudged my chin with her fingers. "Seen someone you know?"

Once knew, yes.

"I..." I stuttered. This had always been my bad habit. I started stuttering whenever I lied. "I need to go get a drink."

"I'd rather dance," She gave me a look which said 'You won't go without me so better not go at all'. I ignored her and smiled sweetly. "Since you don't want a drink I'll take one for myself."

"But-" I cut her off by walking away. Rest of her sentence was lost in the music. She didn't follow me.

I went towards the bar hoping to catch someone or something that would distract me from thinking about...

I shook my head. I won't think about her. No way. I hadn't let myself think her name for two years now. I didn't need all those old feelings to resurface.

It's been two years since then.

I had completely vanished from her life. I hadn't picked up her calls, hadn't talked to her again after the night I ended everything with her, moved colleges, and promised myself that I'd never see her face again.

But fate sure had different plans in mind.

"Hey Alex!" I turned to see Brandon, my old college mate standing there. "It's been so long, buddy."

"How are you?" I smiled at him, glad to find a distraction. "Yes, it has been so long."

"I'm all good. I found myself a girlfriend. Finally," He laughed. I knew how choosy he was. He had been single for most of his life and it was indeed a surprise to hear him say he found a perfect girlfriend. "How are you and Ju-"

"I'm with Veronica now," I quickly changed the topic. "After I moved colleges you didn't even come to see me, Brandon. Am I that forgettable?"

"I was too busy with my beautiful girlfriend," He grinned. He indeed seemed satisfied with his girlfriend. "She went to bring drinks. Let her come back and I'll do the introductions."

"I need a drink, too," I smiled but it felt so fake - even to my own self. "By the way, the party's amazing."

"Yes... Bro, I was wondering why would you break up with her when you guys have been together for seven years? And I didn't even get to see her when you guys dated - like I know you move on fast but wasn't she the one for you-" I cut him off again by gesturing towards the band. "Which band is this?"

Take the fucking hint for God's sake.

Stop talking about her.

He did forget about the topic and I heard a girl giggling nervously.

The sound was so familiar.

I tore my gaze away from the band and looked at them. He was hugging a honey blond haired girl, who was wearing a yellow floral printed dress . He pulled away and...

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

"Alex?"

"Maria?"

We both said in unison.

All the more reason I didn't want to come here. All these people, all the memories, my past, everything resurfaced in an instant.

Her best friend.

"What are you doing here?" She seethed.

One moment she was happy and giggling and the next moment she was seething in anger. Her face showed exactly how much she despised me. "What a girl," I thought.

"Nice to meet you, too, Maria," I replied and shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

"You both know each other?" Brandon looked surprised. He was suddenly taken aback by Maria's mood swing. "Baby, what happened?"

"Your boyfriend invited me," I muttered, looking away. Her face was bringing back memories I had long buried in my heart. I didn't want to stay there one more second and started to walk away when I suddenly realized something.

That was the only thing I was good at then, huh.

Walking away from people.

I stopped and turned to them.

"He was my class mate before he changed colleges two years ago," Brandon was explaining to her. Maria looked at him once, then at me. "I actually invited everyone in my class since it's the last year of college for us, you know. Like a reunion."

"You..." Maria stopped when something hit her. Her gaze trailed over the dance floor, and then the bar as her expression turned into something I couldn't quite recognize.

Surprise? Shock? Fear?

"She's gone. Maxwell told us she left. Brandon!" her voice becoming high pitched and hoarse from the panic attack I could feel her having inside. "Brandon, she left! She saw you, didn't she?" She turned to me.

"Wait, what?" Brandon put two and two together. "This... She is the one you were dating then? Her best friend Julia?"

I warned you Brandon. Don't take her name.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck," Maria's eyes widened as realization set in. "I have to go home. I can't-"

With that she was gone. Out the door in a minute.

I've never seen anybody run so fast in their entire life.

"Maria!" Brandon ran after her, but she was already gone.

I could feel myself losing control. I needed to go away from these people. I walked over to the farthest corner in the room from the gate - a corner which wasn't easily visible and dropped down on my knees. That side of the room was quite empty and nobody disturbed me as I stared blankly at the wall in front of me.

God, why...

I should not have come here. I knew I shouldn't have but I came. I had to destroy my life when everybody in it was doing just fine. I ruined my life before but that didn't matter to me. I could live a fake life if that meant she was doing better.

Julia... I am so sorry.

I knew she hasn't moved on. But I kept convincing myself that she has. I don't know why but I kept telling myself that she was gone and very happy without me. She deserved more than me and she was better off then. She has moved on.

Maybe I wanted to make myself believe that she has so I could break my heart over and over again. Maybe I thought I would be able to move on if I convinced myself that she has.

But it wasn't true.

I believed I didn't love her when I broke up with her. I thought I lost interest, whereas the truth was I didn't understand my own feelings then. I knew she was tearing apart, so much with her family loss but all I did was leave her all alone to deal with everything thinking she was distancing herself because she fell out of love with me.

I lost count of time. I must've been sitting on the floor for at least an hour before I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Julia committed suicide."