D e c i s i o n s

MARIA'S POV-

My heart had stopped when I'd first seen Julie in the tub, blood flowing everywhere. She laid there, her eyes closed - almost as if she was taking a bath. Except for the fact that the tub was full of blood instead of regular water. As I rushed forward her cuts came into my view.

She had cut herself open.

I heard Brandon gasp beside me and my trance was broken. I needed to take her to the hospital. Even I don't know how I did what I did next. I took her out from the bath tub; she was still wearing the same clothes from the party. I wrapped the towel around her as I took her to the bedroom, and then wrapped her up in her bed sheet and began looking at her wounds. I called up ambulance and started bandaging her. Brandon was eventually out of shock and rushed forward to help.

We bandaged her up the best we could, and Brandon took her to the ambulance. In my hurry he had forgotten his car and we had no option but to wait.

"She's going to be alright," Brandon said for the hundredth time after Julie was taken inside the operation theater.

"You should go home," I whispered. My shock was not over yet. I was having a hard time believing what had happened when I already knew that this day would eventually come. "Go home, trust me, I'll be okay."

"Should I..." He hesitated. "Should I tell Alex?"

My head started aching. I can't believe how could that guy could first leave her when he knew what she was going through at the time. Then meet her after so many years, showing up with the girl he cheated with and left my best friend for. All of it was happening because of him.

I wanted to just rip his lungs out.

"Honey?" Brandon looked concerned. He hugged me and I put my head on his shoulder and began crying. I've been holding this emotions inside for so long it was eating me up inside. I couldn't ever cry in front of Julie because then somehow she would start blaming herself and I couldn't stop her because yes, it was for her I would have cried.

I was constantly worrying about her - the girl who lost everyone precious to her and I could never do nothing more than just give her a shoulder to cry on while bottling up my own emotions inside.

It was my fault she was there in the operation theatre, dealing with death. I took her to the party, basically dragged her when even just at the gate she said she wasn't feeling well and wanted to go back.

If I had never taken her there, she'd never have seen Alex and wouldn't have done this to herself.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Julie," I sobbed in his shoulder, "I'm such a bitch. I should've given more though to it."

"Its okay, Maria," Brandon patted my head and opened his mouth to say more but his words were cut off by his phone. He took it out and looked at the ID and then grimaced.

"Who is it?" I asked him and he flashed me the screen before he swiped up and took the call.

"Yes?" He said and waited as the other person - a girl named 'Veronica' who was possibly the one Alex was dating at the moment - spoke. "Fine, leave. I'll send him when I find him. And please do me a favor, find Maxwell and tell him to end the party. I'm in an emergency and..."

I shook my head at him and mouthed, "Don't do this."

He raised his eyebrows at me and kept speaking, "Tell him I'm coming."

"Why did you tell me to not end the party?" Brandon cut the call and eyed me. "You think that I'm going to leave you in a situation like this? Leave you to deal alone with all this?"

"I know you care but trust me Brandon, I could use some time alone," I said. "Your party was supposed to be an all-nighter, remember? So you should go home and look after your guests. Julia needs me and I prefer to meet her alone."

He nodded his head and looked at me with so much concern in his dark blue eyes that my heart melted. I knew he'd understand.

He kissed me once before leaving. And I would swear to God that must have been the sweetest kiss in history.

I loved him, yes, but my loyalty lied somewhere else. My first priority had been and always would be Julia - and knew it for certain as I felt guilt pang my heart somewhere as I watched him walk away, my mind only on my best friend.

I stared at the doors of the OT, wishing it to open up and somebody to come out and tell me she'll be fine. My clothes were all covered in blood, and nurses shot me very weird looks while passing by. I didn't even care.

Finally the doors opened, after exact one hour and a half. It was almost two o'clock. I hurried to the doctor who looked at me gravely. His look was penetrating as he eyed me up and down.

"What are you to the patient, again?" He asked. He must not have seen the forms I filled up in a hurry.

"Sister," My words got jumbled in a hurry to get them out of my mouth. "Imhersister."

"Okay," He took me aside and spoke in a low voice. "I'm guessing you know why this happened."

I gulped and nodded.

"She is going to be fine but it'll take a long time. She cut herself very badly," He stopped. "But I'm only talking about her physical condition. The mentality she's in right now I don't think even if we save her, she'll ever recover fully. Has she ever tried attempting suicide before?"

I looked at the doctor, trying to process what he was saying. She was never going to recover fully? What was that supposed to mean?

"Yes yes doctor," I muttered. "She had tried committing suicide before but I..." I remembered when her mom died from drug overdose; she was almost going to gulp down the whole bottle of sleeping pills before I slapped her hand and threw it away. She started crying afterwards but eventually gave up on the thought of suiciding.

"We are having a therapist coming over to talk to her when she regains consciousness," His eyes darkened. "She kept muttering something like 'Alayex' in her unconsciousness, just before she fainted. I'm guessing that it's happened because of a guy?" He looked at me for confirmation and I nodded. "It's better if she doesn't meet this guy for a couple of days. You know what I mean, right?"

I nodded and he said that I could go inside.

I went inside, looking around the room before sitting down on the chair beside her head.

Her mental damage was permanent. She wasn't recovering.

I put my head in my hands and started crying. All this time I've been trying to hold onto someone who was already dead from inside.

I couldn't decide if I'd done the right thing by saving her that night. If she was actually in so much pain, she could have ended it tonight by taking her own life and when I saved her I had actually put her in more pain.

Oh Lord, what should I do?