The vulnerable moment

Chapter Sixteen

Ryker

I messed up again.

It seems like being with Harley is going to be a series of fuck ups. Leighty is not going to like this. I don't even like this. I know the repercussions.

I know the consequences but she has somehow become my weakness. This fucking girl that I didn't even know until last week.

How do I let her do this to me?

How do I become such a pussy when it comes to her?

I want to stand strong, stay on my ground but I don't want her to leave. I don't want her to threaten me. she has no idea how messed up this all is.

"Ryker,' she pulls away from my lips abruptly and her eyes open "Was that so hard?'' she asks with a satisfied smile.

She is happy and it should click that I actually didn't say my name out loud to her.

She must be in a daze because she doesn't even realize that this is a lot more spiritual than it was a couple of seconds ago. Her lips find mine again and I don't object. This is why we are here in the first place.

I want to get her out of my system.

That is all that should matter.

Her hands caress my body. I groan into her mouth as I push against her, feeling the heat beneath her legs. She feels different from anyone I have ever fucked.

This doesn't feel like just sex. This feels more, it feels different and that is what scares me the most.

I am always in control of everything I do. even when I was kicked out of the heavens, I was in control of my actions, with Harley, it feels like she is in control. She could tell me to jump and i will ask her how high. She doesn't know it yet.

She doesn't know what is going on inside my heart.

I don't want her to see it because the moment she does, she will take advantage of that and I need to let her go. I need to have my fill of her and watch her leave. that is the best thing, for everyone.

"Can I take it off?" she asks me as her hand rests on my shirt, pulling away from my lips slowly.

She doesn't want to leave anymore.

I told her my name and now she wants to stay.

I don't know what damage will be done but I know something is going to happen. I smile because there is just something adorable about her. maybe it is her innocence. I know now, that I will be the only one to touch her.

She is trusting me, even with what happened to her and that is everything to me.

"Yeah you can,'' I tell her even though my hands are only taking them off. her eyes roam around my body hungrily. I love the way she looks at me like I am the only one she can see. I want to be the only one, I want to be her world.

Her hand rests on my bare skin and electricity shoots up.

My heart thuds.

For the first time in this human world, I feel human. Just from her touch, I forget who I really am. I am just a man, head over heels for this beautiful woman.

She leans forward again and this time, I take her mouth in mine. Losing all my senses.

I help her out of her dress, kissing her like there is no tomorrow. I watch her in the same underwear. The one that I haven't been able to get out of my head. she is beautiful. Her breasts are big enough to hold, perky and the cleavage is everything. Harley has meat on her, what I like in a woman. She is the girl of my dreams.

She shouldn't be real.

I don't deserve her but she is here and I want to treasure this moment. I feel so much for her in such a short time and no matter what anyone says, no matter how much I try to deceive myself. This will always be different.

This is not just sex.

I reach for her panties wanting to feel her again. I want her to crumble in my arms but she stiffens and that makes me stop. I don't want to do anything she doesn't want.

She is nervous again even though this is what she wants.

"Are you okay?'' I ask her, my mouth just an inch away from her.

She lets out a soft breath "I've never…" she stops midsentence.

I know what she is about to say.

She has never had sex.

The only memory of intimacy she has was forced.

I saw it all the day I met her but I want her to tell on her own. I want her to trust me.

"You can talk to me.''

She closes her eyes and I watch the rise and fall of her chest. She is scared to talk to me.

I get that but she doesn't have to be.

"Do you want to stop?'' I ask.

Her eyes fly open and she shakes her head incessantly "No, I want this so much. I just don't want it to hurt,'' she confesses. The vulnerability in her voice makes my heartache.

Shit, I am a mess for this girl.

"I will never hurt you."

She nods "I know, okay let's do this,'' she cups my face in her palm. I pull back a bit.

"Did someone hurt you?'' I ask, pushing her to open up to me. I want to hear it from her. I want her to talk to me like I don't know what she is about to say.

I want all that from her.

"No, forget about it, let's do this Ryker,'' my name rolls out of her tongue and she doesn't wait for me to react as her lips smash against mine. I kiss her because I don't want to put any pressure on her.

I just want her.