The risk of losing it all

Chapter nineteen

Ryker

Her snores fill the room up.

I have never been a fan of sleeping next to someone but for the first time in my life, I want this.

She is asleep, naked on my bed. nothing has ever felt so endearing, in all the life I have lived. The covers are over her legs but her upper body is out in the open. Her breasts, are perky and inviting. It takes all the self-control I have left inside me to keep my hands away from her.

I don't know what is happening but I know I am screwed.

Something happened and I couldn't control myself. I thought about how much I wanted to convince myself that this is just sex and I really wanted it to be but now that I have had a taste of her, I don't think I can let her go and I don't even mean that hypothetically.

She is bound to die.

Her destiny has been set but I don't think I can watch her die. I want her in my life. I want her in my bed. I want all the things that I have never wanted from anyone with her.

I am royally fucked.

I get up from the bed and grab a pair of boxers from my closet, slowly walking out of the room. I can't be in the same space as her because I am beyond messed up right now.

I have fucked this over so bad that I don't know how to get out of this mess. Leighty will come for my head if he even knows what I am thinking. The thoughts in my head are terrifying.

A life with this girl.

A life with Harley seems like the perfect thing right now.

A life that she doesn't even have.

I walk down the dark halls until I get to the portal to my own hell. This house is a mask, a mask for my real home. The hell I live in, the hell that I belong in.

I walk all the way to the door and it opens for me immediately. hell knows its master. I walk in and the heat feels me completely. There are cracks all over the wall, just like my soul. The broken pieces can never be put together.

I go to the room of death. Her file will be there, her life in the form of a ball of light. One measly light that will condemn her.

I find her light and grab it.

Three months.

Three months until she dies.

I know it all.

I know how it will happen.

I want to stop it even though I know I can't. I have the power to do it but there will be consequences and I know that much. I have never even thought of stopping someone's death. I have never even cared.

Collecting souls and bringing them to the darkness made me who I am. Made me stronger, I don't know what will happen if I decide to keep a soul.

"Master,'' I turn to Alumus. He is dressed in the same dark robe he always has on. He is watching me with confusion. I don't come into this room at all.

He knows there is something wrong but he wouldn't question me. I could end him with just the snap of my fingers, I made him and I can destroy him.

"No questions,'' I tell him as I walk away from him with her file.

"Are you taking it with you?'' he asks as I walk out of the room and to my room—the room I stay in, not the one in the house where Harley is sleeping.

I shouldn't take a file out of the room until it is their time. I want to keep a close eye on hers. I want to do something to keep her with me, even though I know I shouldn't.

"You are fucking things up,'' I shoot my eyes to the door and Leighty is standing there with a glare on his face.

"Mind your fucking business L, I will figure this out on my own."

I don't want to have this conversation with him but it seems like he is hell-bent on watching me screw this up like he has said a thousand times.

"Why are you with her file?'' his eyes dart to the glow in my hands. I can't even hide it.

"Just let me figure this out on my own please,'' I tell him.

I know what I want.

He wouldn't like to hear what I want.

"You said this was just sex, you don't need her file for sex.'' He points out. Rubbing in the fact that I am out of my element with this. I guess from the beginning of this, he knew that this was different for me.

"It is.''

He rolls his eyes "You know why I am riding your ass. I don't want you to mess things up."

"I won't.''

He sighs "It won't end well. Whatever you are thinking, do not do it. Do not mess with her destiny. Leave things the way they are.''

He is right.

So right but for the first time in my life, I don't want to listen to him. the one person that has had my back. He is the only one that is still in my corner but I don't even give a shit anymore. I want Harley in my corner.

Her smile.

The sound of her voice.

Those beautiful eyes.

I want all the things I have never wanted. I want to get to know her. I want to take care of her, protect her. I want more days with her, more than three months.

I want to save her.

Shit, I am in trouble.

Leighty is still watching me but I don't know what he is thinking. He is scared of what I might do. he is scared to lose me.

At the end of the day, whatever happens to me will not be in his hands. They are a group and they could choose to destroy me but I know it will not be easy.

They can't get rid of the darkness so easily.