The uncertainty

Chapter twenty-two

Harley

I was supposed to be here for a day. I mean that was the plan. It was supposed to be one night.

One night of unforgettable sex.

How have I spent a whole week with him?

Why don't I want to go back home?

I know there will be a mess.

One that would probably end up with the cops, my father having a heart attack.

"I need to go back home,'' I tell him one night. We are in the room, on his king-sized bed. The balcony window is open, breeze enters the room in a melodious embrace.

"I don't want you to.''

I sigh "I have to, my father will die.''

He rolls his eyes, "He will be fine.''

I sit up on the bed and he pulls me back into his arms "Do not detach from me.''

He is being clingy and this is what I wanted. I wanted him to want me and he does now but he just won't seem to let me go. I need to go back home. I have make-up exams to take. I have a life, even if he wants to claim me for himself.

"I won't. I just need to go home.''

"NO.''

I frown "No?''

Okay.

He can't be serious.

"Don't go home,'' he adds.

His voice is soothing. I am not even scared of this moment. I trust him, even though he is covered in mystery.

"I have to.''

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to.''

I sigh as he leans into me.

I feel like he is intentionally keeping me here with him. I feel like there is something he is not telling me. "I will come back. We will have a lot of time together,'' I assure him.

I want to pursue this with him.

I don't want to let go.

"You might think you have all the time in the world but time is fleeting. Tomorrow is not promised.''

Ryker doesn't seem like someone that is scared of the future. I don't expect this from him.

"I am here with you tonight; I will be here with you as long as you will have me.''

"Do you actually want to go back? has anyone ever treated you like you belong?''

I don't know what this is about but I don't want him to confuse me "My father loves me. He just got back and he would be worried. I don't want to put him through that.''

"You're not a kid.''

"I know.''

"Stay with me, don't go back home.''

I don't even know what he means by that. It seems like he wants to lock me up in this big house and away from the world. He cant believe that I would actually drop my life for him. Yeah, I know my life is not the best but it is my life and I want to live it.

"I have to Ryker.''

His demand is ridiculous and I am sure he knows that. He cannot possibly expect me to drop everything and just stay with him indefinitely. I don't even know him. he is a man I just met a week ago. Someone that could just drop me anytime he got tired of me.

It makes no sense.

"Trust me, it makes a lot of sense,'' he says out loud, almost like he read my mind.

I look at him and I don't even know what he is thinking. His expression is blank.

He is talking crazy but he seems to think his words are sane.

"I'll be back, I'll come around whenever you are available.''

"I am always available."

I roll my eyes "You disappeared a couple of times this week. You didn't even say a word to me.''

"I had some work to do.''

I nod "What do you do?''

He looks away.

You see.

He doesn't want to talk to me. He just wants me to be wrapped around his fingers.

I won't do that.

"I am going home tomorrow, Ryker, there is nothing you can say that will convince me otherwise.''

He sighs, running his fingers through his long hair. I watch him, wishing to get something from him, anything that will explain why he is acting so strange?

I get that he wants me around. I want him around but I wouldn't expect him to drop everything in his life and stay with me. I am not that selfish, so I don't know why he is acting this way.

After a couple of minutes of silence, he breathes out "I am trying to protect you.''

My eyes remain fixated on him "From what?''

I want him to be honest with me. I want him to tell me something, anything that will give me some clarity on this madness. I have a lot of wants in life and I know I never get them, just the same way I know he is not going to answer me right now.

He doesn't answer. I know he isn't going to answer. It seems like that is the end of the conversation and I don't want it to be. I want him to tell me what he is worried about because I can see that he is worried.

I get nothing from him as he detaches from me and walks out of the room. I watch him as the door closes. I watch him, completely confused with this situation.

I don't even know what the right thing to do is. I want this life that he is offering me but I also know that nothing good ever lasts.

We might be happy now, we might be in this bubble of perfection but like my life and the way it has always been, something is going to happen.

This happiness that I feel will not last and I don't want to get lost in it. I don't want to lose myself and wrap him up in my life.

It's too soon to even be sure about anything.