Speedrunning my Isekai

Be me, a nameless mob character with depression and personality problems. Also a huge weeb.

I recently got laid off from work due to the company I worked at being bought out. Normally this isn't that big of an issue, however, my old boss, a really chill older dude, retired immediately after the announcement.

It took us all by surprise, but I later found out why. He was warned by some of the higher-ups after the deal that our division was going to be... 'thinned' and he wanted to keep his pension, so he retired immediately with no warning. I guess I was too stupid to see the writing on the wall, as I thought our division was one of the biggest money-makers in the company, and surely they wouldn't get rid of us, right? Maybe we'd get a new manager, but I was a senior programmer who had been with the company for ten years. I was surely going to be outside of the line of fire right?

No. Not really.

That was roughly a year ago. I was able to live off the money I had saved up for this last year and life was going alright. Sure, I didn't have a girlfriend and wasn't employed, but it did allow me to indulge in my hobbies for a while.

I rewatched a bunch of anime and read a ton more manga. I wasn't someone who would go out and buy figurines or a body pillow, but I did have this one sticker of Great Sage from my all-time favorite series ever. "That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime".

I loved the series. The MC was relatable and the cast was great. The power system was both subtle and terrifying. Rimuru, for example, has the ability to manipulate gravity which he got from Charybdis. In another series, this ability would be one of the main powers used by the MC to defeat his enemies, however, that is not the case. Rimuru only used the ability to fly. Due has the power to crush his enemies under the weight of entire stars and he uses that ability to fly.

To be honest, if I could somehow reincarnate into any world, it would be Monster Girl Quest because Alice is bae, but if I could reincarnate into any world other than MGQ, it would be Tensura.

After I finished binge-watching Season Two and Slime Diaries, I finally got up from my chair and stretched a bit. I had put on a bit of weight this last year and recently decided to start hitting the gym. I had procrastinated long enough, and since I was in a good mood, I decided to head out.

The walk to the gym wasn't far, about ten minutes from my apartment, but I did have to cross this one road in town. It was a bit dangerous to be honest. The light was situated in just the right position to be blocked by trees on both sides and the city hadn't fixed the issue since the mayor has been embezzling the infrastructure funds.

I sighed a bit as I despaired the future of the world where it was an open secret that the mayor could embezzle money and no one would do anything about it. Anyway, the light turned green and the walk signal was white, so after looking both ways, I quickly crossed the street.

No sooner had I reached the middle of the road did a red sportscar come zooming around the corner. He definitely ran the red light, but thankfully, he hit the breaks when he was about to hit me and swerved out of the way, coming to a stop a few feet to my left.

My heart stopped. I had nearly died there. Everyone always wants to say they would act all cool and wouldn't freeze up when in a life-threatening scenario, but I now knew that wasn't true at all. I WANTED to jump out of the way, but my body didn't listen to me. After taking a moment to quiet my rapidly beating heart, I quickly walked to the other side of the street. I had made it and was feeling a rush of excitement.

'Have I ever been that close to death before? I was so lucky! Maybe I should play the lotto? It's at $300 Million right?' I thought as I stood there, then...

*HONK!!!*

*BAM!!!*

A truck had swerved out of the way of hitting the stopped supercar, ran up onto the sidewalk, and hit me.

'Maybe I wasn't so lucky after all...' I thought. Those were the last thoughts I would ever have in this world.

...

When I 'woke up' I was 'standing' in an endless black void. I somehow knew I was standing, but I didn't have any sort of physical body to be 'standing' with.

I should have panicked, and internally, I did panic a bit but calmed down after a few minutes. I felt a bit embarrassed that I did. I always thought of myself as a rather mature person who wouldn't panic if they were to end up in what was obviously ROB's waiting room, but I did.

'So much for being calm' I thought.

"Alright. Let's get this out of the way." A genderless voice suddenly spoke from all around me. I looked around, trying to find where the ROB was, but couldn't see 'it'. I call it 'it' because the voice was neither male nor female, or at the very least, I couldn't tell.

"Don't bother looking for me. I'm not actually there. Why would I come personally just to reincarnate another weeb? You get three wishes. Pick them quickly." It said.

I thought about it and before I could even formulate what I'd want, I heard it reply. "Granted. Goodbye."

'Wait what did I wish for!?!" I yelled as my body disappeared.

I was suddenly hit with a few 'facts'. I don't know HOW I knew what I did, but the knowledge suddenly entered my mind.

My wishes were.

1. To reincarnate as Satoru Mikami the moment he appeared in the Tensura World as a Slime with the power to create any skill, ability, or magic.

2. To have a human form prepared immediately after the transfer. Preferably male, so I could keep my son.

3. I wanted the Akashic Records of Entertainment from a certain fanfic I had read about. I could read it in my off time which was nice.

And like that, I vanished from the 'sight' of ROB and, for the second time today, woke up in another black void, though this time it as because I couldn't see rather than being in ROBs waiting room.