Chapter 28 "Teardrop"
Wednesday
"Teardrop"
Before I open my eyes, I feel the soft silk sheets. I feel both my arms are free from the bonds, but pinned underneath their pillows.
I open my eyes, and smile when I see both of them nestled close. My heart stops, both of them without any masks, anything concealing their sleeping faces. In the open light of day. I lean in and crane my head to study their every inch before they wake.
The blonde sleeps with her mouth open. Her small nose, pointed chin, large nasally breaths. Deep sleep. I wonder if she has sleep apnea.
The brunette, hides her face in my armpit. She breathes in short quick almost panic breaths. I lean in close, and smell her hair. That unknown fragrance. The motion awakens her to my presence. I feel her hand run across my chest, over my heart. She squeezes slightly, then fades.
I look back to the blonde, taking this moment as my only chance to see my captor's faces. Her right nostril pierced. Her pores, so tiny. I see the top of some tattoo at the base of her neck, exposed from the blanket. Her haircut looks brand new, ends looks perfect.
Somehow she's sexier with bed-head.
A whimper from over my shoulder causes me to instinctively pull her into me.
I feel it immediately. She's awake.
I snap my eyes shut, and relax my lids.
Her body jerks up, and I can tell she's looking me over. I feel her eyes on my face. I breathe in steady rhythm. Not panicking, just acting I tell myself.
Her hand searches, then finds my heartbeat. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.
Then I feel her close, and her whisper is loud in my face,
"I know you're awake. Open those eyes and you can see my face."
My heart stops, but somehow I continue breathing in rhythm.
She waits a moment, then leans in closer. Her lips touching mine as she barely whispers, "She's still asleep. Open your eyes."
It's a trap, my mind reassures me, and I respond by moaning slightly, then turning away. Keeping those eyes closed, I pretend to fall into a deeper sleep.
A moment of uncomfortable silence later then I hear the blonde whisper, "He's not stupid."
I feel the brunette mount me, her voice isn't a whisper anymore, "Open your eyes, or I'm going to zap you."
I refuse to break. I've committed this far. I have to risk it.
I feel the metal prongs touch my neck, and I let out a slight whimper.
"It's his last day." The blonde, with her raspy morning voice.
Before I realize it, I whimper no. My brain screams mistake! Then I feel both their eyes on me.
Another uncomfortable moment of silence. The metal prongs still at my neck.
Suddenly lips are touching mine and I hear, "You're a bad actor" as the other forces a kiss on me. I can't help but jerk back in surprise. I open my eyes in surprise, seeing the brunette smiling down on me.
"Little liar."
She moves off of me, but holds the stun gun to my neck. Both stand naked, confident. Dressing as if I'm not there.
"No, wait..."I plead, "I know this has become more...Don't leave me. Whatever it is you're being told to do, don't!"
The brunette's eyes look to my lips as she speaks, "That may be the sweetest case of Stockholm I've ever heard."
Her eyes look to mine. There's a moment of sweet smile.
Inside I'm melted by the twinkle of morning sun reflecting on her face.
Then I hear the electric crack, and the familiar pain. Immobility. The pain is immense. My eyes well with tears, my teeth grind without control. I try with everything not to piss myself. My body twitches, my arms cramp and flex. I must look pathetic by the looks of pity cast down on me.
My body relaxes, and I'm exhausted and numb all over. I don't notice them taking my hands in opposite directions.
They begin tying my wrists, as I protest threw grit teeth, "What, whatever your lives are, I have, have nothing...I would...would give up my life to be with...with you."
They continue securing my wrists, not looking back to me.
"You can, can torture me, abuse me, starve me...I can take what...whatever you dish out...I won't...I don't want to tell anyone about...this."
"Because no one would believe you." The brunette says as she ties my wrist, hard, in the silk fabric.
"No, because this...this is ours...Regard, regardless of what you've been...told to do...I've never...felt so alive...I know, know you have some feelings for me."
The blonde stares to the wall as she secures my right hand. Not responding. Her lack of response makes me question my words. My sanity.
They make eye contact. "Breakfast?" She asks.
With my heart already exposed I continue, "Are there rules against falling in love!? If the uprising is inevitable, then why would it matter?"
"The blonde ignores, looking to me and asking, "Pancakes or waffles? Your last day, you get to choose."
I'm almost heartbroken by her lack of acknowledgement.
"You can't tell me you feel nothing for me...How long did you follow me?...Learn every detail about me? Why?!...These last two weeks-"
The blonde cuts me off. "I didn't say that. I didn't respond to your demands. Instead, I asked, pancakes or waffles?"
"But you do feel something, for me...don't you?...Why...can't you just say it?"
She's slightly annoyed, but stops, looking at me with a patient smile.
I drop my head onto the pillow, and sigh, "Pancakes" looking to the ceiling defeated.
She smiles and walks out of sight. I have a second before I'm surprised by the brunette jumping back on top of me.
"You talk of feelings, and love like two weeks is long enough-"
"It's long enough for me to want to know you, the real you!"
"What two weeks of punishment and pleasure and your sour little heart develops feelings again? Tell me, Mr. Writer, could a normal person pull the trigger?" She shows me the stun gun, then pushes it to my neck. "Would a normal person inflict so much pain, onto someone they love?"
Her eyes leave mine, looking to my neck.
"Would a normal person willingly want to stay despite what you say or do?...We're not, normal, the three of us...I would do anything to stay in your life-"
"What, be my boyfriend? Jesus, you think a dick is some magical kind of answer all women are searching for!"
"I would be your punching bag, your shoulder, your rock, anything you wanted, just to stay in your life."
Tears almost coming from my eyes. Her expression isn't as hostile. She still holds the stun gun to my neck.
"If I loved you..." Her eyes making their way back to mine. "...then why do I want to make you hate me?" Her eyes drifting to my neck.
I have time to swallow before I continue my stay of execution, "You do."
Her eyes back to mine.
"...You hate yourself...for developing feelings...you feel like, you've betrayed your mission...because I'm not every other man you've had in your life."
She rams the stun gun hard into me, forcing my face to the side.
She's inches from me, hissing, "What do you know about me!? About my life!?"
Calmly, I try to defuse, "Nothing. I know nothing...I...I want to know everything...I don't care how. I don't care how much you put me through! I would-"
SMACK!
"How about now, lover boy!?"
She hit me. My face slowly registers as pain flushes over the left side of my face.
"Why-"
SMACK!
The other side of my face is on fire. Blood in my mouth, hot syrupy metal.
"More!?" Her crazy face hisses.
"Get...get it all out."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
More blood. I'm woozy, can't, focus. Pain everywhere in my face. I hear a ringing, then her screams.
She's right over me, "Say something stupid!"
I regain my senses, and slowly make eye contact, "I'm, I'm not them...and I'll never be them."
She raises up in anger, and I close my eyes, waiting for the pain.
But it never comes.
I slowly open my eyes, waiting to see the angry she-devil lording over me with more pain as my only reward. Instead, I see a completely changed face. Empathy, then realization. Her eyes cringing at the impact her rage inflicted on my face.
She wants to apologize, I can see it in her eyes. Her words never come, instead she looks over me.
Her hand slowly reaches down, touching my face. Her face registers pain as it slowly makes its way over my face. Her index finger traces my bruised and swelling lips.
"I'm...I'm okay." Incoherent words spill out of my mouth.
"No you're not...none of us are."
She gets up and leaves. I hear water running, then she returns with a towel. She plops down next to me, and begins cleaning my face. The wet towel washes slime from my face, I see it change color with my blood.
Looking me over she speaks softly, "No, you're not like any other man in my life...The longer I know a guy, the less there is to like, until I...react...you...I know every detail of your life within a week."
"Guess I haven't lived." I say into her eyes.
She laughs to herself, "Actually, most targets take only two days...There's not much to them...That's why they're so easy to manipulate, control...You have the mind of a chess player...Yes, I did become one of your followers."
My ego swells a little bit. I bite my lip to hide the smile creeping in.
She finishes with the towel, and sets it aside, still looking me over.
"You stay celebid with your awakening, your writing, your mission to save the world, you live so disconnected from, why?"
I don't know where she's going, all I can do is shrug.
"Before last night, when was the last time you had sex?"
Meghann, I immediately think.
"How long ago was that?"
That was before my awakening. What year was that? 2011?
"2010, maybe 2011?" I say like she knows.
"We searched. No dating profiles. No phone calls, texts. Just late night porn sites...seven years, you've chosen to stay alone with your dogs, for almost a decade now. If we didn't come into the picture you would have reached it without even noticing.!"
She's right. I've been alone for over seven years. Now, what? What does that mean? For me? For us?
"Maybe...I was just saving myself for the right relationship to come along."
"This is no way the right relationship.
"Right, wrong, it's all subjective. Do I make you smile? Can you not wait for the next moment?
"The next moment isn't real, sweetie. It's part of the story, just an act." Her face saddening. "It's just a job."
"Then make it real!" I demand, "What's your name? Where were you born? What's your favorite color?"
"Stop."
"What dinner do you want to come home to? Tell me anything!"
"Stop."
"Show me, the real you!" I plead.
"Stop!"
The stun gun jabs into my neck again, and her face is full of rage. I'm frozen.
"You...you don't get to know me!...After today, you will never see me, or us, ever again! You have to accept that. This war, just a job. That's all it's ever going to be! You were a stupid target! To distract, discredit, dispose of! That, is all!"
She looks down at me, angry she had to say it, or she has to accept it. I'm not sure of either, so I stay silent.
She slowly gets up, still looking me in the eyes, "Today is your day...Whatever you want."
"Can you make it last forever then?" I say weakly.
She blinks, wanting to respond, but doesn't. Her eyes study me for a moment as she throws a large shirt on, then exits the room. I hear her bare feet on the tile floor walking away.
And I'm alone for a moment.
I smell cooked goodness, and I'm surprised by a soft voice.
"Oh, what happened to your face?"
I look over to the blonde, standing in the doorway. Her face confused. She wears only a t-shirt. She holds a tray with pancakes and coffee.
"I...fell down some stairs."
She walks over, slightly smiling as she sets the tray down over me.
"That mouth of yours."
I smile as she snuggles next to me.
"I brought you breakfast in bed, and I'm not going to feed you..." She smiles, "...You only get to look at it."
"Sounds right." I smile back at her, "You love torturing me...I don't even want it."
My stomach growls, causing her to set up and laugh.
"Are you sure about that? Sounds like he's hungry."
"He's a liar."
She sets up, begins cutting into the stack.
"You probably poisoned it...You just want me to want it."
"Uh-huh." She smiles, showing me a forkful, then shovels in her mouth. Her eyes sparkling in the sun.
"Well, you didn't poison those, but I'm sure..."
She cuts more pancakes.
Her eyes meet mine, "Shut up."
So I shut up and she feeds me with that beautiful smile. We have a lovely breakfast. Laughter. A spill or two. Her feeding me. Me tied up. You know, normal.