Clarisse’s Reflections (Echoes of the Lost)

Rik. It's been three years since she disappeared. It's been three years of emotional torment. When my best friends were sucked into a portal, I couldn't do anything but watch. After they vanished, I immediately reported to the higher officials. The commander then led a search party for them despite his condition. For months, we searched for them. We searched every bush and every creek so desperately. We were almost losing hope until Mike turned up in an alley near the market. One of the soldiers was looking for a shortcut and stumbled upon an unconscious Mike. He was in grave condition. He looked badly beaten. He was covered in cuts and bruises and had a big wound on his shoulder. He was immediately taken to the military hospital and was top priority. After that, the commander ordered a second wave to our search. Three weeks later, we found Dan by the stream just outside the border. He was also covered in cuts and bruises, but wasn't in any life-threatening danger. Well Rik, she never showed up. For three years now.

It did not take long for Dan to recover. After getting discharged, I heard he went through Rik's research notes. He found valuable information about the portals, information Rik was probably too uncertain to share to anybody back then. When we told Mike about Rik's notes two days after he woke up, he was furious. We understood him. After all, we were best friends and best friends are expected to tell each other the most important things, especially things like those. Mike and Rik grew up together, like siblings, so it was understandable that he felt betrayed. The following weeks, I kept visiting him. I was worried about his well-being. I wanted to make sure he wouldn't do anything foolish. He was in denial, in grief. I wanted to be there for him. At first, he wouldn't talk to me, to anybody. He would just stare out the window of his hospital room and cry silently. He was broken, in body and heart. When he finally recovered, he kept going out, searching for Rik in case she turns up somehow. He changed. He was no longer the loud and obnoxious Mike we knew. He also stayed in the dorms and seldom visit the orphanage. He said he felt embarrassed to face the old ladies and the children after failing to protect Rik. Dan, on the other hand, didn't change much - still quiet and reserved. Of course no matter how hard he tried, the loneliness was evident in his eyes. He buried himself with paperwork and missions as a distraction. His mother told me he reads Rik's notes and journals every night before sleeping, when he actually sleeps. Most nights he just gazed at the stars. During meetings, I noticed him staring into space with a pained look. He too was broken. I was hurt as well, but I did not have the time to grieve. My best friend went missing to another world and there's the possibility than she did not survive. The other two have lost their souls; they might as well have died with her. I did not dare shed a single tear, afraid I'd lose control and break down in pieces.

The first two years, we continued our search though not as thorough as when they first disappeared. After two years of searching in vain, the commander made the decision to stop and concluded that we would not make any more progress than we already did. A grave was created for Rik. We had a short service, and we received a couple of condolences and comforting words. Since then, we went back to our usual lives. We did our tasks and went to missions. Our friendship was never the same. We still hang out, but we usually just sit at the bench without talking. We felt each other's agony, but each of us was in no state to comfort the others. Rik, where are you? Are you really alive as what Mike believes? Come home soon. Please.