Dealing With The Pain.

Pov. Izzy

Sometimes melancholy can bring with it a little humor, black humor. Everything in this cemetery makes me want to laugh, the people I have never seen, those who pretend to be suffering, those who never gave us a good day before coming to serve me and my brother.

Hypocrisy will one day still be the destruction of mankind.

Maybe he's already doing that.

- I'm leaving. - I tell my brother to stand up even before the priest begins the homage of the mass one month after the death of my parents.

- What ? - he asks if he stands up and I know that he is coming after me, I know that, because I can hear the whispers around us. - The mass has not even begun yet. - my brother says and I stop walking.

I turn around and look at him, his blond hair freshly cut, his beard well made, his scared blue eyes, he looks so much like our father that it's like I'm seeing a younger copy of him standing in front of me while I'm a young copy of my mother, red-eyed green. Sigh and he approaches me, Nick holds my hand and smiles weakly.

- I know it's difficult, but we have to go through it together, we just have each other now. - says calm and low looking into my eyes.

- I know this, just as you know the hypocrisy and too much for the higher self in me to endure. - I say and he settles down.

- I understand, there are really many fake people here, I confess that I did not think so many people would come. - he says thoughtfully and I sign. - You can stay further away if you want, just don't leave, I only need your presence to have the courage to go there and talk about them. - ask and I'll nod with my head.

- Fine, but dinner is on your own. - I say and he turns his eyes.

- You can bet it is. - he says smiling and then returns to his seat.

I walk in the background and then I look around, seeing only tombs, chapels and trees, I see a huge tree that made a lot of shade in a place further away and I walk to it. I sit under the tree and attend mass a little bit because I have to continue here, but my brother needs me, I can't leave him alone. Nick is the oldest, but seems to be the youngest because he has the soul of a child, he is always playing with children on the street from home, sometimes takes them to the amusement park, he is always making everyone around him smile.

And I love that in him.

His purity.

He smiles to see my brother get up to read his speech, he spent weeks writing it. I watch people's reactions and turn my eyes to the crocodile tears of the majority. As a way to distract myself I start looking at the names in the tombs, after some time I am laughing all by myself at the names on the tombstones.

It's one stranger than the other.

Like who the hell is called Cornelius ?

I keep observing until one of them calls my attention, because I don't remember knowing someone with this surname in the city. I get up on the way to the tombstone that was further away, it seemed an area reserved by the family for family graves only. As soon as I am near the headstone I see two names "Catherine McGauthier leblanc is Hector McGauthier Leblanc ", the death dates of the two were for almost twenty years after the end of the second world war which leaves me surprised to see such an old tomb still one hundred percent intact, which means that someone still takes care of here. I notice a strange sentence in a very small format, almost invisible to unoccupied eyes, behind a wreath of flowers that was already needing to be changed and when I touch it, I feel a strong shiver, it makes me paralyze.

- Are you some tomb spy ? - I hear a hoarse voice and I turn scared.

I am surprised to see a girl with long hair and light brown, almost blond, with a very beautiful black overcoat by the way with the hood covering her head, black jeans torn in the knees, black boot, but no heels. She's a little, a little much actually much taller than me and the umbrella open and slightly lowered forward prevented me from seeing her face.

Here's the woman in black.

Is she of some Satanic sect ?

Or it may be that she is just a crazy person because of the color black.

- I did not know that curiosity had risen to level, tomb spy is a very high rank for me. - I answer somewhat uncertain of what I am saying.

Not seeing her face is making me nervous.

I don't like contact with strangers.

- Then eavesdropper would be the right term for you. - she says and I don't know why, but I have the impression that she is looking at the tomb behind that umbrella. - do you know them ? - question and I deny.

- No. - I answer by looking quickly at my brother who was still speaking.

- So why are you eavesdropping on the graves of unknown people ? - questions keeping the umbrella open and covering his face.

- Why are you so concerned about why I am looking here ? Do you happen to be the gravedigger here or some tomb supervisor ? - I ask focusing on the strange phrase.

- I'm not, I just hope that the guy who was talking over there on the other side doesn't suck my soul with the look that he thinks is frightening. - she answers and I look at her and why the hell I went to do that.

The girl was closing the umbrella slowly, I felt as if everything was in slow motion, the light blue eyes focused on her hands, the lips painted red, light makeup, smooth skin, she has striking features.

The wretch is beautiful.

And I don't think he's sunbathing.

Sure, our city is not the sunniest in the United States, but it has a cool summer.

- Will you continue analyzing me from head to toe, or will you tell me your name soon ? - question finally looking directly at me.

- I didn't know that to talk to stranger's I needed to say my name. - I answer and she looks at me even more seriously than before.

- Even if you are clearly badly educated, I will tell you in which language this sentence was written. - says looking at the tomb. - Der tod ist nicht immer das ende, das leben einiger beginnt im grab. - she says and I make a face in response to what I heard, which makes her smile in a restrained way. - It's German. - complete turning.

- Thanks, I think. - I say uncertain, after all I can't speak German.

It doesn't change anything to know in which language it is written and not to hear her speaking with this strange accent, but at the same time beautiful. I flip my eyes taking my cell phone, put it in the camera and zoom in on the sentence and take a picture.

I will find out what it means

Or I don't call myself isabelle.

- Dispose, miss, Lavely. - her says opening the umbrella and then turns to me and extends the umbrella towards me.

- How do you know my last name ? - I ask and she turns her eyes.

- It will rain. - she says and I look at the sky to see that the sky is really dark giving signs that it will rain.

I look at her who was still holding her umbrella in my direction and I decide to accept it, because it seems she won't accept that I don't pick it up. As soon as I get the umbrella she turns around again and starts walking, but soon stops and without looking back she talks again.

- See you there. - say and then walk again.

I am confused by this unexpected encounter with a strange oddity, which started with me being curious to the point of digging other people's graves. I feel something mottled on my skin and I look up, a drop of rain falls on my face, which makes me smile, after all it doesn't rain since my parents died, I look forward and see that the girl has already disappeared from sight.

So fast.

She should have been in a hurry.

- Izzy, come on. - I hear my brother's voice and turn in the direction where the sound came from.

- Are you finished ? - I ask walking to him who was standing next to me.

- Yes, it will rain, we had to skip some parts. - he answers extending his arm to me that when he arrives at his side I accept.

- Let's go home. - I say and he nods.

We walked quietly to Nick's car and then went home, the whole way was quiet too, my brother seemed thoughtful and that was kind of strange to his usual good mood of chatter. Our house was not far from the cemetery, only forty minutes, so when my brother stopped the car in front of our house, I wasn't surprised, I just stared at her.

Our home.

Now incomplete.

Without the ungracious jokes of my father that he laughed mad while telling, without my mother's voice every morning singing along with the radio, without pancakes with a happy face at breakfast, or dad telling stories during the family movie night. I sigh and leave the car walking towards the entrance, I hear my brother activate the car alarm and follow his steps behind me. I open the door and go towards the stairs, go up to my room, take off my clothes and enter the bathroom. I take a shower thinking about how life can be unfair at times, so many bad people live for almost a hundred years, while my parents are not even fifty. I finish my bath with a bad feeling in the chest, maybe it's because I didn't cry at all, not even when my brother picked me up at school and when he saw me he hugged me telling me what had happened, he cried so much while I couldn't even begin to react, I thought it was because I wasn't believing, but even when I saw their bodies in the coffins, I couldn't and still can't express anything.

What does that make me ?

What kind of person am I ?

My parents were everything to me, so why can't I feel the pain ?

Am I dry inside ?

I dressed calmly and then I went down in search of my brother, I see him coming in already bathed and with lighter clothes, he smiled when he saw me and raised the box of pizza.

- I see that dinner has already been advanced. - I play and he nods.

- O f course, I have to take care of my little sister. - he says and I smile, shaking my head.

He puts the pizza on the center table of the room and then went to the kitchen to get the soda and the glasses. I sit on the sofa and turn on the television to play a movie.

- Did you know that we have new neighbours ? - question my brother and I turn to look at him who was approaching.

- No. - I answer simply.

- Not me either, I just saw a very beautiful jaguar by sign parked in front of the house and a change truck just behind. - he says and I deny with my head. - Put some supernatural film. - ask me to turn my eyes.

- You are your idiotic movies of supernatural, mystical beings and blah, blah, blah. - I say putting anyone.

- As daddy used to say, "you're a stuffed fan of this universe of wonderful movies." - he says and I smile denying.

- Go dreaming baby, you have the same delay that he had for these silly things. - I say and he smiles wide.

We are silent looking at us until he sighs and lowers his head, he stays a few seconds like that until he rises again with his eyes stained, which makes my chest hurt.

I hate to see him like that.

People like Nick shouldn't suffer.

- I miss them so much, but do you know what is worse ? - he tells me looking and I see a tear sliding down his face, but he soon tries to dry it. - The worst thing is that dad always told me to take care of you when this time comes, because you usually hide so much what you feel since... - take a break and I nod. - That there, who would not know how to deal with this pain and it would be up to me as the older brother and his only family to help you go through this. - complete letting the tears slide down his face and I stand up and go to him is the hug.

- Do not worry about me, I am fine. - I say uncertain, after all I do not know how to define how I feel.

- No, you are not, I see that. - he says embracing me. - You're different Izzy, I'm afraid of losing you too, that you stay that way again. - it keeps leaving me without reaction. - You don't know how to deal with these situations, you shut yourself up, because you can't feel it at first and you think you're a monster because of it, but then you get devastated, that's how it was when grandpa died and that happened, I feel that now you're in the same way and I can't do anything. - complete and I feel bad.

- You will not lose me, I am learning to deal with pain. - I move away a little to look into his eyes. - But if you want, we can do a therapy of brothers, what do you think ? - I ask and he denies.

- No, you are bad at waking up. - answers laughing. - Although the fact that you are bad at it, sometimes it makes you good at it. - go on and make a confused face. - Damn, I got lost. - complete making me laugh.

- Baby. - I say funny and he pushes me lightly.

- Go back to your place, stop crying, let's eat and watch. - he says and I nod back to my place.

Press play to start the film as he opens the pizza box, takes a piece and passes it to me, accepts it and then he puts soda to me. We were watching some vampire movie that I didn't even bother to see the name of. At some point in the film I was more than bored while my brother kept talking about the characters making me turn my eyes. In some scene that I wasn't paying attention to, one of the characters says something about cemetery and I automatically remembered the strange girl, our conversation and the tomb with phrase. I take my cell phone and down the Google translator, then I enter the function of translating images and put the photo I took, it takes a few seconds until the translation appears leaving me surprised.

"Death is not always the end, the life of some begins in the grave."

Our lady.

How morbid.

It seems like a phrase from a supernatural film.

- Ooh, I forgot to say. - Nick catches my attention. - Tomorrow you have to go back to school, I can no longer ask you for permission, you know how strict they are. - complete and I turn my eyes down.

Great.

Fake adults are no longer enough, now I'm going to have to put up with teenagers too.

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