I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU

(YOONGI POV)

I place the flowers at the end of the hospital bed, Yuchan's sleeping. Is it really my fault? He has a bandage covering all his forehead.

"He'll be okay, don't worry too much." Stella says, behind me.

"What happened?" I need answers. I don't understand anything. It took me a few hours to realise what happened outside. Has Hoseok gone mad? How can he throw Charles like that in the water, don't he notice it's snowing? As wet as he was, he could have frozen if he stayed there one more minute.

"A chemical reaction. It exploded and he was near."

"But why happened? The professor should have been in charge. Also, Hoseok mentioned- said it was my fault. He said something about promises and that I shouldn't be late this time."

Stella looks at me, lowering her head. "Don't you know that they were all waiting for you? Mrs Black said it was a special occasion, you were practically a ghost in her classes. By the why, why did I told you about missing lectures?"

"Yeah, sorry, sorry. So, they waited for me and that's why that thing exploded? They know I never come to that class, but that's a good one. My luck is on fire this days." I let out a bitter chuckle.

Stella shrugs.

* * * * *

I think I need a talk with Hoseok, or should I go visit Charles first? Ugh, Hosoek is, or is supposed, my best friend, but I'm worried about Charles, too.

"If you keep walking you'll make a whole." Hobi says, appearing out of a corner.

"What the heck is wrong with you? Explain me because I really don't understand and I don't want to be mad at you again." I spat.

"You? Mad at me? I didn't do anything, I was just trying to help you."

"Then try less, because you aren't helping me. Why did you throw Charles in the fountain?"

He scoffs. "Didn't you hear what he said? I almost throw up, he only speaks no senses, realise it."

"It was because he said you like me?" I scoff back. "Please, nobody believes that."

"You promised you would go to class today and-"

"All of this is because I decided to skip classes today? Seriously Hoseok? Don't you get tired of worrying about me all day?"

"You promised me you would go, Yoongi. I talk yesterday night with Mrs. Black-"

"Do you mean that you did all of this?"

He gasps. "What? No! I only tell her you would go to class. She got excited and she prepared something special to you."

"It ended up exploding in a student's face. Yeah, that's a good one." All this thing is making my blood boil. I need to punch something.

"It wouldn't have happened if you were where you were supposed to be. In class. Studying."

"Do you still believe is my fault?! Maybe is your fault, if you wouldn't have said anything to anyone this wouldn't have happened in the first place."

He laughs. A bitter laugh. "So now is my fault you decided to break the promise?" His red eyes are throwing daggers.

"Stop it already with that stupid promise!" The veins of my neck swell.

"You promised! You promised to me!" Tears start streaming Hobi's face.

We both stay still, taking deep breaths.

My head aches. What are we talking about? Why are we arguing again? I take a few more breaths.

"Why are you so mad, Hobi?" I'll try to control the situation. "Tell me, screaming at each other faces won't help either. We talked about this already."

The red in his eyes starts fading away. "I'm trying to help you, Yoongi. We may live forever, but that doesn't meen we'll have a perfect life. What will happen if you don't study? What will you do in 10 years? 20? Your physical appearance won't change, but what's in your inside will. Do you want to be useless the rest of your life?"

"Do you think I'm useless?"

"I can't believe you're asking me this again. You're not useless Yoongi, but you'll be someday. What if we get a job and you don't? What will you do then? What if society decides to marginalise you? What will you do? Where will yo go?"

"I don't care what society thinks about me." I shrug.

"But I do."

I don't have more energy to argue with him.

"No, you don't. You never care about what people say."

"Please Yoongi, study, train. Be a good angel, I know you can be powerful, but not like this. Not skipping classes constantly."

"So now you want me to be powerful?" I rest my forehead in my hand for a few seconds.

"You don't understand anything, don't you?" I don't know what to do anymore. It's like everything I do is wrong for him. What is he expecting me to do? Be as everyone else?

"No, I don't. I know you want me to go to class and be a perfect student but-"

"This is not about the stupid classes Yoongi!" He yells. I blink a few times, recovering from the little shock. What is that supposed to mean? That's all he talked about these days. "What will you do when soon they attack us? What will you do when they pin you down on a wall? What will you do when they start to torture you? What will you do when you don't know how to defend yourself? What will I do if they kill you?" He's a sobbing mess by now.

I hold my breath. I've never seen him like this. I've never thought about it. What will happen if we find ourselves in the middle of a war? Will I die the first day? The first 10 minutes? Who is supposed to protect me? Myself?

"I can't live without you either, Yoongi." One of his tear touches the floor.

It feels like someone stabbed a knife in my heart. He's worried. He's worried about me. My life. Literally. Nobody said anything like this to me. Does he need me as much as I need him?

"You think. . . I'm gonna die?"

He takes off his tears with his sleeves.

"Hobi, do you think I'm gonna die?"

"Probably." He shrugs. "But I won't care anymore, do whatever you want Yoongi. I tried. At least I tried." He sniffs.

I look at him. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I'm petrified.

"Why you never talk to me about this?"

"Because it's stupid, but I'm still worried. Don't you see it? This situation is becoming worse. They're coming after us Yoongi. They'll attack soon. I really don't want to lose you, Yoongs." He sniffs, looking at me with puppy eyes.

I don't need to do anything, he's the first to get closer and hug me, wrapping his two arms in my waist. "I don't want to lose you." He whispers.

"You won't." I whisper, caressing his back. "I prom. . ." It's better if I don't say it.

He sniffs, pulling away. "So what now, friends?" He asks.

"You'll always be my friend, dummy."

"That's good." He smiles. "Did you wear the flowers?"

I nod. "But he was sleeping."

He nods.

"Do you want to. . . order some pizzas? We can watch a movie, if you didn't make any plans." He says, approaching the door.

"Well, I wanted to visit Charles. . . But I think he'll be okay by himself tonight." He smiles. "I know you need me more right now, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He says. "Just, study and train. After that, I don't care what you do, but don't put your life in danger again, okay?"

I nod. "Hum. . . What are you doing?" I chuckle, as I see Hoseok wants to open the door.

He chuckles. "I thought you were waiting for me." He opens the door. I look around. I was in front of his apartment all the time? I think my subconscious brought me here when I was lost in my thoughts.

"You come in?" He asks, next to the door.

I come in.

"Where's everyone?" I ask. "The dorm is empty."

"I know. Seokjin's in a date with Joonie and Jungkook," he scratches his chin, "he's probably with the two little monsters."

"So, we're alone?"

"Yeah, do you have a problem with it?" I shake my head. I don't even know why I asked that.

"Can I order the pizzas?" I change the topic. "One for you and one for me?"

"Yeah, the big ones. The bigger, the better." Hobi says, turning on the television.

I smile. That's my boy.