DYEING FEELINGS

(TAEHYUNG'S POV)

I focus on Jungkook's face, even though he's not looking at me. I'm trying to understand everything he said. He started talking about poly relationships and polyamorous people, and I've never seen this before. I've never seen three people dating. It doesn't make sense, it doesn't feel right.

Moreover, he said he likes Jimin, but he also likes me. It doesn't make sense either, it can't be true. He can't like the two of us. He's confused, he's probably confused.

I hate the idea of him kissing Jimin and I hated him, but seeing him so vulnerable in front of me makes my heart break even more. He's only fifteen, after all. Maybe it's true that he didn't mean to hurt me, but I can't forgive not forget Jimin's and Jungkook's kiss. I can't forgive him and I can't forget how Jimin said he has feelings for Jungkook.

"Is Jimin also polyamorous?" I ask to myself.

"No, he only loves you. You're his boyfriend, please forgive him, hate me if you want, but forgive him." He begs.

"I don't hate you." I say. "But I'm still pissed off about what you did. Why did you kiss him, Jungkook? I understand that you like him, but you know I'm his boyfriend. Did you know it already?" I wonder if Jimin has talked about his feelings with him. Jimin said he started having feelings for Jungkook after the kiss, it means he knew he had feelings for Jungkook two days ago. Perhaps he really wanted to talk to me, but he didn't have the opportunity to do it.

But I'm still mad. He shouldn't have let Jungkook kiss him. I was his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention. I thought I couldn't like two people at the same time. When he told me it was normal, I opened up to him. I didn't tell him at first who they were, but then. . ." He sniffs, touching his nose. "Then, I couldn't control myself and I kissed him. My brain wasn't thinking straight, my idea never was to break your relationship." He rubs his eyes, looking at his thighs. "It was just a peck, he didn't push me away, but it's because he was surprised. I pulled away when all my senses came back. I know what I did was wrong and I won't do that again. I'll distance myself from you if it's necessary, I don't want to cause you more trouble than I already did."

My version and his version are so different, what he said is way better than what I thought. I let out a sigh, in relief, but that doesn't mean we're okay. It doesn't mean I'm okay.

"He still has feelings for you, though." I whisper.

"What?" He looks at me, petrified.

"Didn't you know?"

He shakes his head.

"I thought you knew, I thought you talked about this."

"How do you know?"

"I heard him talking with Namjoon yesterday on the rooftop." My heart hurts every time I remember what I heard.

Jungkook shakes his head. "You maybe didn't understand him right, he doesn't like me, hyung."

"I'm not deaf."

"Taehyung, Jimin loves you."

"Why you keep defending him? Don't you like him as well?"

"I want you to be okay, don't worry about my feelings."

"I'm not worried about you nor your feelings." I lie. I kind of do, but I'm too stubborn to admit it to him and I'm still confused, mad and heart broken.

He looks away, more tears filling up his eyes.

"Talk to him. What has happened it's all my fault, I kissed him, not the other way around. Now that you know everything, please forgive him. I won't bother any of you, you don't have to bear with me anymore."

He gets up and walks towards the door. I know I probably should have been more considerate with him, but I also have the right to be mad, what they did was wrong. What Jungkook did was wrong.

He opens the door, Jimin's in front of it. I raise my neck to see him better, one part of me hopes he eavesdrop the conversation, but the other part doesn't. He looks at me for a few seconds, then his attention is back to the black hairy boy.

He whispers something to Jungkook and he only nods. He leaves right after and I hear his sobs and a door getting closed.

Jimin and I stare at each other for a few seconds, but I look at the window because I can't keep looking at him anymore. Every time I see him I feel like crying and my wounds hurt more. He sighs, but when I look at the door he isn't there anymore. I shrug, slamming the door. I don't care what he does, even if he didn't kiss Jungkook, he still has feelings for him and I can't be with someone who doesn't love me at his fullest.

(HOSEOK'S POV)

I get out of my room when I think the lovely monsters have already finished their talk. It would be pretty uncomfortable to be around while they're talking about their business. I see Yoongi getting out of his own room as well, with the hair dye in his hand.

"Will you dye your hair now?" I ask.

He turns to look at me. "Oh, I didn't see you Hoba. Yeah, do you think black hair will look good on me?"

"It fits your personality."

"Do you want to help me? I don't really knows how this works. I've read the instructions, but I can't do it alone. Can you help me?" I nod.

We get into the bathroom next to his room, it's identical as the other one, but the furniture and the mirror are placed in the right. The walls are white mixed with a soft orange pastel. The cabinets are made of wood and the shower is at the bottom to the left, covered by glass. The bathtub is white, recovered by a brown light wood.

I read the instructions carefully, but it isn't difficult. Yoongi probably get stressed by all the timers.

"I think you should wet your hair first." I say. "Do you want me to wait outside?"

He shakes his head. "I'll put my head in the bathtub. Can you wash my hair for me? It will be funny."

I smile. "But you'll have to put yourself on your knees."

He throws me towel laughing.

"Wait, let me take this off." He removes his black t-shirt, his smooth skin and abs showing. He also throws me the piece of clothing, it smells good.

"You've been wearing perfume." I say, more as a question, he never used it before.

"Yeah, Charles gifted it to me."

"I thought you didn't like perfume."

I grab the hose and open the water, I've to wait a few seconds for it to get warmer.

"I didn't, but he does. I think we were kind of a thing. . . My bad, I realised it late. I couldn't say goodbye to him."

I start washing his hair, he lets out soft giggles when the water touches the back of his neck.

"I'll send him a message tonight, do you think they're alright?"

"Probably."

"I'm not in love, though, but I think I like him. The other day we were in the bed cuddling and I liked the feeling. I liked playing with his hair and being kind of domestic. I've never felt this way. Did you ever felt this way?"

"Nope."

"Why had you never dated anyone, did you never fall in love?"

I dry his hair with the towel. "Hold the towel, I'll prepare the other things."

I open the box, grabbing again the instructions and the dye.

"We fucked up."

"Why?" He says, moving the towel through his hair.

"You shouldn't have washed your hair, it says you have to do it twenty four - fourty two hours before dyeing it."

"So I can't do it today?"

I shake my head. "We'll do it tomorrow, is that okay?"

"Yeah. I think I'll send him the message now. The sooner I send it, the sooner he'll reply. Thank you, Hobi." He says, grabbing his t-shirt from the marble and putting it on again.

He lets me alone in the bathroom. It annoys me the pain in the chest every time he talks about Charles. I'm happy for him, but at the same time I would like him not to date anyone. I don't want to date him, because I don't want to have a partner, but it bothers me the way I get bothered because he may be in a relationship with Charles soon. I don't want to be selfish, but this feeling doesn't go away from my chest. I'm being egoist, but I can't stand the idea of him dating anyone. I don't understand why it affects me, if I don't have romantic feelings towards him.