Chapter 38

‍‍‍‍‍"Both of you disgust me . Playing happy family all the time like nothing is wrong . My mother passed away..",

" Mine too"

"was yours pregnant? ",

"no! ",

"Did she want to live?"

"what ?"

" Was she POISONED? Was your beloved mother poisoned while carrying a child in her?",

The world got slowly fast as the ground before his feet started to become more unstable to walk on . His soul crushed to what Iseul was implying and what he was driving to . The death of the queen was truly suspicious but linking it to murder is a far stretch.

" Iseul , you are ... ", 

" Why do you think your mother hanged herself and apologized in her note?",

"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING ?"

" DO YOU WANT ME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU ! THAT WITCH DUG A GRAVE FOR THREE PEOPLE AND I WOULD BE DAMNED IF I LET HER WITCHLIN ASCEND THE THRONE IN PLACE OF MY FATHER!! ", 

It made no sense yet at the same time it made perfect sense.cousin is the rightful heir to the throne not him but everyone knows that the Yongsun that is currently crying his eyes out is the crown prince . How on earth is he going to make everyone understand a hoax that happened years ago . He didn't mean to let Yongsun climb the carriage on his behalf . It wasn't all his fault . When he woke up , they called him Yongsun and from that moment on wards he adopted the identity of his cousin, the identity of the crown prince .

Iseul shrugged off Yongsun's hands and stormed out . He slammed the door so hard it made Yongsun shudder . At the same time , Yongsun mechanically fell to the floor as the tears flowed one another . 

It broke him in ways he never deemed possible . he was not ready to receive this , not in this manner . it felt like he couldn't even mourn his mother once he had to suddenly act like he wasn't in pain and now he has to mourn his father furthermore digest the words that just came from Iseul's mouth

He recalled the day he lost his mother . He had been busy drawing in the backyard when he heard someone screaming inside . as he ran back into their house , he found his mother hanging from the ceiling. the gruesome image was so vivid and tormentful that he had to take a step back to truly make sure what unfolded before his eyes was reality

He rushed to release her but the coldest of her feet scared him so much that he jumped backwards. An epileptic shock struck and his left side begun to shake like it wasn't his own . He can't really recall when he started to cry and call her name but such was the case . The other workers came into the room and released her from the banisters and when someone female covered his eyes , his entire body shut down in complete shock causing him to faint . he was unresponsive for the next three days that when he woke up ,it was the day of cremating. As he started up to a silent environment in the clinic , the first place he went was to their house in the residential wing . By default, he pictured seeing her hanging from the ceiling and the left side began yo tremble making him partially blind in the left eye . For some reason he flew to the royal memorial crowds and that is when he realized the seriousness of what was happening .

The family held an open door cremation so everyone was gathered to watch the fire wasting away her entire body . Out of a broken heart and life flashing excruciatingly fast before his eyes , he screamed calling everyone's attention onto him . The guards tried to stop as he was running into the fire and they succeeded. He screamed and kicked as he watched her turning to a pile of ashes from the woman he called mother . Following then on, Yongsun experienced a lot of nightmares that he would wake up screaming exactly as he did during her cremation. What was worse was the epileptic seizures that started from the clock that she passed till late at night . He was slowly shriveling in the claws of grief and it seemed to be killing him slowly since no sort of medication was able to help . the king brought therapists and doctors all over the place yet they all said that Yongsun needs to move away from the palace.

For the next few months such was the case until one day Yongsun tried to do the same thing his mother did , the only difference was that he was sleep walking. He had passed out since the previous day from having a seizure in broad day light and when he woke up , he robotically went to their sleeping quarters . He untied the ribbon at the door and a guard saw him walking inside . Following him, he found Yongsun trying to take his own life . that was a the last straw and that is when it was decided that Yongsun shall leave the place to go study. That was the day that they swapped place with Iseul and that was only two months before the queen passed after being pregnant for seven years.Their deaths were so stacked that it felt like a joke at the time. 

And just because they swapped identities , the grief didn't fade off. It was never easy for Yongsun to go to bed that he had to chain himself to the bed and tie his mouth so that the doesn't scream like they would expect him not to . Nevertheless the seizures and night screaming stopped ever since the guard slapped him on the day he was sleepwalking . All that was left were paralytic nightmares 

Yongsun flooded tears like meteorites as he replayed the moments with his mother. He wasn't simply crying , he was raining , falling apart and shredding to even smaller pieces . 

Yongsun parted his lips to scream but no sound came out and instead he collapsed to the side and gasped for air so effortlessly. His skin was blue and his eyes deep red . his lips patched and his lungs felt like they were collapsing. 

'Why does what Iseul say make so much sense ? Why isn't he denying those bitter words ? Is it because he has heard of those rumors before but disregarded them? ', he just laid there and gasped for air while the room spinned beneath his feet 

****

" living in a brothel? ", Mang recited Siwoo's words almost in half-belief

Mang always believed that the hospital he had taken Enlai to burned years ago and now he is hearing that his son is alive and is leaving in a brothel and that his sister has been knowing about this for the past years without telling him anything.

" Sir , when would you like to set the autopsy ? " , a pastor asked him

He didn't answer and instead he pirouetted out of the house and he headed to the Yee's mansion. He didn't really understand what he wanted to know but he would like to understand why his sister would hide something like this from him. Enlai is the only child he has ever had .

Anger consumed his rationale ontop of the grief that was already driving him crazy of watching his mother slice her own throat in front of the public . Furthermore the anger was brought by that she choose to end her life which is like taking the easy route out for what she had done to Enlai

Siwoo ran to stop him because the cultivators advised against them leaving before they came back . Mang paid no need and just continued to go outside towards the carriage. Just as Siwoo was getting persistent, Mang aggressively turned and violently grabbed his throat and squeezed for dear life. Slowly as that happened he lifted him off the ground .

The maids yelled him to stop but he didn't hear anything, his left arm which was the one holding Siwoo's neck was decorated in dark foaming scales and there was no doubt that this was the work of a chaotic heart.

Siwoo let down soft mumbles as the maids tried to come near to help .

Mang immediately clasped the hair of the maid that had tried to free Siwoo and threw her across the place , almost breaking the ground with her body . Two men ran ahead and Mang gifted them Siwoo's heavy weight making them collapse backwards. Siwoo gasped for air as the workers once again ran ahead to restrain their boss but the man quickly dodged on of them , grabbed him behind the neck and pulled out his entire neck bone . 

With the blink of an eye , the next male was merely slashed at the same location and killing him in that very space . Without blinking and with minimal effort , he carried on ahead to the carriage

Everyone remained in awe!

***

Yongsun dazzlingly walked into the temple that his mother frequented and he headed to the deep spring at the back that they use for baptism.

He had cried so much right now that his brain was empty and all he needed was to fall asleep . he was just tired from everything in general which can only be rectified by a break. Despite the psychological effort sobbing had stopped , the tracing of agony were unmissable throughout his face 

With his clothes still on , he headed inside the pool and slowly walked inside until he was swallowed by the water. He let his body rest on the floor as if it was his bed and he closed his eyes

***

"Why are you so clumsy ! This is the third time you spill something", Irma scolded her boyfriend who looked extremely sick and tired of life

He felt like he hadn't eaten for days and was slowly wasting away. Throughout their conversation , all he did was stare at the open space in front of him. it was as if his thoughts were preoccupied but at the same it he was barely even thinking. She came back and wiped the table .

"I don't understand why we bother feeding you two when it's clear you don't want the food",

Shejin stood up mechanically and without blinking he walked to the door , opened it and carried on walking. Irma might have tried to question where he was going but Shejin probably gave her a cold shoulder making her curse and ignore him .

His pace gradually increased and within seconds he was running , pacing and sprinting . He didn't know where he is going and why but he was just running.

He turned out the gate and he kept in breaking the wind .

Ten minutes later , he jumped into the pool that Yongsun went into and he dragged him out like he was paperweight.

As he reemerged from the water , he gained awareness of his surrounding and he looked at Yongsun who had his eyes closed but was breathing normally. Yongsun parted his eyes and blink so softly like he hadn't been submerged in water for over thirty minutes.

Yongsun stared at Shejin covered in water . Its clear to see that even after being in water , there were traces of crying and dark circles in Yongsun's eyes . The shattered beauty released a foreign strand of hair from Shejin's temple. After that he proceeded to attempt to lower his body back into water but Shejin caught him . As they stood there like that Shejin pulled his collar and dragged him under the water.

He didn't understand what Shejin was doing until Shejin pulled Yongsun closer and he pressed his lips onto his .

Time moved like teardrops and the earth started to shake as the temple chimes swang in the midnight air . Rationality escaped , logic eloped , sense disappeared and what was left was a feeling both parties have never upon the land beneath the sky , felt for as long as they loaned breath from the heavens . 

Neither of their heartbeats was raising, neither of their bodies felt an extreme input of heat flooding into their bodies . All that came was spikes of ice cold storms stabbing all over their periphery. Yongsun's dried out heart closed and the broken pieces reassembled and Shejin's lungs learnt how to require air and if he looked close enough he would see his reflection in Yongsun's eyes that were still open.

Shejin panicked but as he tried to move away , Yongsun pulled his face and he depended the kiss .

Seconds and agony passed like dust in the storm as one in a million chances became the only outcome .

In the honest heart of hearts , the first person that Yongsun fell for is Zhihuan but that has changed over the several months and his heart is controlled by one person and that person is Shejin. He came out of nowhere , looking like no one and like no he else he changed Yongsun in ways that shocked even himself. Yongsun wasn't prepared to accommodate anyone in his life but Shejin created so many cheat codes and broke so many rules to get into his life . Although at first Yongsun just thought he appreciated his face, the truth of the matter was that he truly and genuine loved the company that Shejin brought him . At one point in his life , he thought of telling him this thing about Iseul and he but he refrained not because he doesn't trust Shejin but because there was no real reason for him to know something like that . 

He didn't just fall for him , he melted into the abyss..

He hopes that Shejin feels the same way too...

but fact of the matter is Shejin doesn't .