chapter 41

Shejin wrote down as much of the novel details that he remembers but one thing he can't quite wrap his finger around is actual plot-line itself. He is certain that indeed there was a lot of bad endings in the novel but he doesn't remember the specifics .He knows most of the story changes after the king`s passing and that happened after some major event. Shejin doesn't recall what the event was nor how far away from the death is it . Additionally he tried to list down most of the names that were reported to have died but his list is so unhelpful because all those he has written down have already died .He swirled the brush in his hand , ransacking his brain but it was futile. 

As he sat at the coffee table in his kitchen, out of the corner of his eye , he noticed a small silhouette ducking away . It was similar to the one he saw on the day he woke up after being comatose for four days . He wondered if he should check it out when suddenly the door of his house opened. He didn't pay particular attention to the sound because he assumed it was probably his girlfriend

She had gone to get more decorative things for Shejin because he was going to be serving food at the bride-choosing ceremony and since the female maids are dressing up , Irma told him that he needs to look the part as well .She is quite aware that Shejin is already stunning and while claim attention if he dresses up too much but she still wants to make him be a butterfly In a field of `flies` 

He waited for a few seconds before he noticed that it was rather too quiet. He stood up and he went to the sound of the open door and he didn't find anyone in the living room . He looked outside and then he called her name but there was no response. He shrugged his shoulders and he closed the door but when he turned back he found Yangmin standing in front of him.

For the first time in a long time ,he felt his heart skip a beat and in that short span of time his face flushed red. His breathing got laborious and his mouth became extremely dry . It was clear that his pupil definitely got dilated attribute to this sudden adrenaline rush .

Yangmin looked at him and he got concerned about him because he looked very distraught. He is well aware of the chemistry between him and Shejin but this is genuinely one of the rarest thing he ever witnessed . He desperately wanted to caress Shejin`s god-like face but was afraid that the owner of the name that Shejin called a few seconds ago was in the house .

Shejin looked at him deeply . For no reason he acknowledged that he has no knowledge of Yangmin . He doesn't even know his birthday, upbringing , his rank, his anything . All he knows are his names and that he is addicted the texture of his touch and the scent of his presence . To think that Yangmin always shows up out of nowhere as if he is just waiting to emerge in front of Shejin makes it feel like he was designed to follow Shejin around. 

Thinking about Yangmin when he was standing right in front of him brought a cascade of electrifying emotions that overrode like a tsunami and toyed with him ever so mercilessly. His head started to hurt almost like the day he was being attacked by the phantom but with a little more fire and twisting .

Yangmin`s smile melted when he saw how Shejin was looking at him . He was genuinely confused about him but he was now getting scared.

"Today Yongsun is choosing brides . I couldn't find you anywhere so..", he stopped talking when Shejin changed his eyes to look away because he'd could feel himself falling into Yangmin`s gaze.Since when was he this reactive to anything that Yangmin did.

Yangmin forgot that he came here to tease Shejin and instead he bid him farewell . As he walked back ,Shejin almost caught his elbow but he didn't and like that Yangmin just disappeared .

"Did my heart have to do that ?"he massaged it and he ran to prepare himself up for Yongsun's ceremony

***

The large banquet room was decorated as expected for the bride-choosing ceremony of a prince. The sheer thought and energy invested into the designing was so enticing and fragrant . For a brief moment one couldn't help falling into a trace with the magnificence of the room . It's truly amazing what money can do and the composure of this room is a true example . Not only the room itself, the food , furniture and the workers were so sophisticatedly put together that it seems like it was a coronation not a mere five-hour session .Furthermore everyone seemed in sync with the luxurious air and emerald theme that it is like they had forgotten that the king is currently awfully sick and he might die.

Yongsun was dressed in exquisite shades of green which is the king's favorite color and once again he was seating in front of the throne but not directly on it because he doesn't want to cast a bad omen on the old man .Following what the king had requested of Yongsun, here he was choosing a wife he doesn't need . He has been trying to keep it together ,ignoring the need to run away and hide under the earth .His heart was aching for so many reason .He always knew this day would come but he didn't expect it would be under pressuring circumstances and even if there was time for him to digest this , he doesn't think he would be okay with it . The girl he picks could be a headache and he would be forced to put up with her and smile when he wants to oust her. 

The cabinet was chatting their way off and would occasionally look at Minghee and Xugang , telling them that they are next . Those two seemed in complete glee at the sight especially their parents. Speaking of which Hyanni was dressed like she was the queen . Her makeup was extremely dense and her attire very uplifting. All her jewels and layers of clothing were made to match the theme and it is without a doubt in mind that she had the clothes custom-made for this day for a long time .

Basically she was proud of her accomplishments in finding brides for Yongsun , not like she even cares a little bit .

The sound of people talking was making Yongsun dizzy and nauseous . He couldn't find a way to make this day go faster and have it end because there is no escaping it . Yongsun forcefully swallowed a dense layer of dryness that had picked in his throat . he was trying really hard not to cry. He raised his arm to shield his face as he raised his cup to try and dilute the awful and gut-punching feeling that was blooming in him . Unfortunately when the cup touched his lips , warm heavy tears slid down his pale cheeks . 

He sniffed them off and he wiped the tears . It was beyond self-cruel to try and hurry up before he draws attention because the tears wouldn't stop falling as his heart wouldn't stop bleeding . After a few attempts, as he lowered his arm down but Iseul was standing in front of him .

The indifferent youth startled Yongsun to the point of him partially regurgitating the acid in his stomach . He cautiously kept looking at his cousin.To make matters worse, he felt himself get weak at how irreproachable Iseul is. All his prayers gyrated to that Iseul doesn't pull a card at the ceremony because things will get really bad really fast and Yongsun won't know how to recover from all of that 

Without expression or acknowledgment , he walked off and he returned back to his chair . Unknown to Yongsun , Iseul had erased all the sorrowful traces on Yongsun's face and practically rejuvenated his make-up .

Yongsun`s gaze followed Iseul and waited until he sat down . Iseul took the cup and he drank the contents then he replaced it before he turned slowly and looked at Yongsun . 

Iseul coldly raised his eyebrows at him and Yongsun mechanically shook his head at him . Iseul redirected away from him . In that short-lived moment , he had gotten irritated mainly because he made his cousin look a little better and was actually appealing . A sudden malignant thought came to him that maybe he should have peeled Yongsun`s skin in his sleep

Hyanni stood up and called everyone's attention. Yongsun's heart jumped out his chest .

She announce the plan for today and started to give a thoughtful, rose-colored speech . she would occasionally turn to look at Yongsun who was smiling briefly but ever so painfully. The tears many have been erased but the pain remained and was metamorphosing with every single thing coming out of Hyanni`s mouth

Hyanni raised her hand to call the chefs to pour the glasses .

That was the moment that Shejin was brought to action. He had been so focused on Yangmin and the girl he was talking to that he barely saw anything . He was so curious to know what they were saying and why they were even confident enough to talk during this ceremony . This curiosity wasn't because he thought Yangmin was disrespecting laws but rather because he thought Yangmin was smiling a little to broadly for some girl that Shejin assumes Yangmin just met. Anyway for that reason, Shejin was too distracted to think about anything else and unknowingly avoided Yongsun by going to Minghee but unfortunately he didn't realize that he had already won Yongsun's attention.

Yongsun kept his eyes on Shejin as he navigated the other royals and even served one of the cabinet members. Afterwards Shejin turned off and not once did he look in Yongsun's direction .

Yongsun nearly threw up in that display. He was convinced that Shejin definitely saw him and knew that he was waiting for him to pour him a drink but he didn't . 

The handsome prince put the cup down as he had subconsciously raised it .

Is it foolish of him to hope that Shejin has some sort of feeling towards him because of what happened at the temple?Is it being to ambitious that he wishes that that moment could have lasted a little longer than it did ? Could it be that it was just a mistake and that throughout all the time that Shejin was here , all he saw in Yongsun was not enough to make his heart flutter? The questions raced through his exhausted and surrending mind.

His eyes leaked again when Hyanni called the brides into the room for Yongsun.

He didn't know what to think and what to feel . the one he truly adores doesn't feel the same way for him and now he has to marry some stranger that was chosen for him by Hyanni, the woman who bullied his mother until she took her own life . On top of that he has to marry her and figure it a way to make Iseul happy enough not to ruin the king`s image .

Six brides wearing the same green-themed outfit walked into the place . They were covered by a simple veil on the lower half of their face but one could still see the rest of their face .

Hyanni called Yongsun to come and pick a bride but before he could do that she pointed out one of them and called her beautiful . she asked her to move a little bit forward and that was a clear indication that she wants Yongsun to pick her .

Yongsun robotically stood up and he dazingly walked towards the women . on his way there he looked for Shejin and saw that Shejin was looking at Yangmin who had his face buried .

It's s one thing when they don't feel anything for you, another if they feel it for someone else and one completely different thing if you see it happening and there is nothing that you could do about it .

The world span beneath his feet and he found it hard to move . The remaining intact pieces of his self broke into fifteen times in a split second and his processing defied logic of how much the human heart can tolerate . He didn't want to breath because he knew he would cry and then he would have to explain why he is crying which is a hundredth-fold worse.

'Was he thinking about Yangmin the day they shared that kiss?', he thought to himself as he took steps further to reach the woman.

He arrived and he stood in front of the women . He checked Hyanni and she signaled with her eyes .

He looked towards Shejin and he caught him eye-signaling to Yangmin who smiled back .

Either everyone is extremely blind or just dumbfounded but the time it took for Yongsun to move from his chair to stand here has done more damage to his appearance and soul more than a thousand insults could have ever managed to achieve . There is no more saying that he is shattered, no use saying that he is drowning . Everything was happening too fast and too cruelly that he felt like he had sold his soul along the way

Yongsun prostated his hand which was heavier than anything he ever carried. It wasn't just lifting his hand but rather picking someone he had to fake love for the rest of eternity. It might be a simple bride-picking but it is pretty much a marriage . She will be consider his princess forever from now onwards . He has to treat her with love even from his ragged and dismantled spirit. How could he even bring himself to love her when he cant even finding the willingness to carry on living in this nightmare .

His vision faded with the dark abyss of pain as he trembled entirely to force the arm to raise and try to suppress the stress-spasms. He fought internally as he convinced himself that he just needs to point . At anyone!

However his mission was unsuccessful