Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Perfect

“Let's stop this, Andrus.”

“Stop? W-What do you mean... babe?”

“I-I'm... breaking up with you.”

I've been thinking about this for quite some time now. I don't know if I'm doing this right but this is what I want for now. I've thought of all the reasons and possible consequences and yet, I still end up deciding on this — letting go of our relationship. The past few weeks was quite critical for me. I had to make reasons to avoid him. I feel cruel but I didn't know what to do. Facing him more oftentimes would only worsen it. I just can't give him hopes at all.

I like him, alright. He's got everything as a boyfriend. He's a perfect one. But I just think that I'm being unfair to him. I don't like him as much as he does me. He's proposing how much he loves me when we're just together for two months. I only like him because he's cute and that I needed him.

“You can't do this to me, Augustine.”

“I'm sorry, Andrus—”

“Through phone call!? Really?!” he snapped.

My eyes shut at that.

It was so loud, I could hear his rage. I wanna cry. I feel horrible at the same time, mad at myself for hurting someone. Andrus doesn't deserve this. Of all the boyfriends I had, he's the serious one. That's why I wanted to try it with him. But I just couldn't.

It was a bad breakup. Andrus and I had a heated argument through that phone call. I understand him. But his words were too harsh for me to just take them all, resulting in a very bad ending. I sometimes regret breaking up with him only through a call but I don't think I could say anything in his face. Better that way than just ghosting him, right?

Three knocks on the door and Mom's call had me finally woken up. For a few days, I stayed in my room most of the time after that breakup. I just have no energy to go out with friends.

I yawned and stretched out. “Yes, coming!”

I checked the time to see it's already clocking to 10 am! I immediately ran towards my bathroom. I've been trying to practice waking up early but I just keep failing! This isn't gonna work unless I'm mentally freed from all the stuff that's been bothering me!

“You're again late, honey.” Mom, as she spread some chocolate filling on the sliced bread.

In my wet hair and pink patterned silk bathrobe, I sat on the counter as I scanned all the foods that are served. There are loaves of bread, as usual. A pitcher of orange juice and another for water. And of course, hotdogs, slices of bacon, and hams. Same old breakfast.

“I'm going out with my amigas today, you take care of yourself.”

I nodded as I grabbed the plate. I knew it when I saw her wearing a pair of high-heeled platforms from one of her collections and a very sassy red dress. Mom is pretty. You wouldn't know she's already above 40. At least, her face and figure. Her fashion is just too old in my eyes for her to look like a mid-twenties lady.

“You can have your friends come over or your boyfriend — if you have a new one.”

I glared at her. Her eyes were at the sandwich.

“Just don't do nasty things! I don't want to see our house in a messy state!”

“Mom!” Rolled my eyes.

“Mm!” She drank her coffee after eating her sandwich in halves and then went to the sink. “Has your father called you for your coming debut? It has to be extravagant!”

“Uh, Mom, about it...”

Aside from all the problems I've been through, I was also thinking about my 18th birthday. In the past years, I was very excited about it because I knew it's gonna be a big celebration. I even planned on many themes. The very first one was a pink color theme. Anything that is pink in color. I also thought of a Coachella theme. Cowgirl. Black and pink colors theme. And so many other themes I was truly excited about.

But lately, I have completely forgotten about the excitement and preparation. I wasn't excited anymore. And I wasn't into it.

“Can I just take a vacation?”

She stopped and turned her head to me.

“Alone,” I added.

She then faced her body to me with her made eyebrow raised, her right hand was meanly placed on her hips. She looked like she just heard a very crucial statement.

My god, here we go again.

“Come again, Augustine Louysse?”

I rolled my eyes for the second time, breathing in.

“I don't wanna have an extravagant birthday celebration. Just wanna go to an island beach alone. Please, Mom?”

Her face turned sour.

“Why all of a sudden!?” she exclaimed, her arms couldn't anymore stay ahold. “I've been preparing for this one, Augustine! I've even told my amigas! You cannot make me tell them it's not anymore happening!”

“I'm sorry, Mom, but I just don't want it!”

“No!” Her index finger was up. “I'm gonna host this party whether you want it or not.”

My jaw dropped.

“But Mom—”

“No buts!”

“How can I possibly enjoy the party when I don't even want it! Mom! Vacation is all I need!”

She sounded dismissive when she said she's hosting it. That means it's gonna happen whether I go to that party or not. Mom is a sucker for big events and attention. It has been her life ever since I learned ABC. I'm not taking that against her because I wanted the same. But it's just not what I am seeking right now. I want peace. The sound of the waves. The breeze of cold air. Beach, in short!

“Then have a vacation after!”

My mouth turned into a small ‘o’.

“But you gonna have to tell your father and ask money! You're not touching a penny out of your birthday budget!”

“What!?” I looked at her incredulously.

“Yes!”

That was unfair on my part because it's my money after all! But I still took that rather than nothing.

Mom reminded me about it again before she left me alone in the house. After cleaning up my room and reading some books in our library room, I called Daddy to inform him.

“Dad, hello.”

It's already 8 pm and Mom is still out. She usually comes home late, especially when she's with her friends.

“Oh hello, Hija!” he answered in an old bubbly voice. “How's my only daughter doing?”

I smiled and leaned further on my bed headboard. The light in my room is in between dim and bright just like how I want it. I was really glad when the bulb in the middle ceiling of my roof that I bought online arrived because it was so cool and pretty. It matches every corner of my room which I personalized into a summer pink vibe.

“I'm fine. Mom's out shopping with friends. You, Dad?”

His aged voice chuckled. “Your mom hasn't changed at all. I'm doing good, Hija. I'm still so good at serving people.”

I sighed. Daddy is already in his last term as the Governor of Sorsogon. I don't know if he has any plans to run for another position or finally retire from it but I hope he does the latter. Dad is old for such kind of stress.

“You should retire, Dad.”

“Hmm, I'm thinking about it. But let's talk about your birthday. That's already next month! Did your Momma already start?”

“She did. But I told her I want a vacation instead.” I bit my lower lip.

I don't know how to start. I'm a bit tense about his reaction. He might get worried but I just need to tell him being my father.

“A vacation? Why, Hija? Don't you want a debut party? You've been very excited about it since you're a little girl.”

“I know. But I'm not anymore a little girl, Daddy. I wanna take a break.”

“I understand. So, what did your Momma say? Is she okay with it?”

“She was fine with it. I hope you are, too?”

“But what about your debut party? I'm sure your Mom is just as excited as you. Or is she more?”

His last sentence was comical, I laughed a bit.

“She's still pushing it. But she allowed me, just as long as you're okay with it.”

“Of course, Hija. I have trust in you. I know you're a good girl. Just be careful, alright?”

The party could no longer be stopped. Well, Mommy hosted this one. And knowing her, she really would make her plans happen one way or another. No matter who gets in the way.

“You look so gorgeous, Augustine!” Roko, Mom's friend, and a personal makeup artist said after the final touches on my face.

I smiled and looked at myself in the oval-shaped mirror. Its corner is intricate with many swirls and flowers in gold and silver.

I look just fine. Though my makeup is a bit too much for me I guess, on every occasion, you have to look very colorful and glamorous. The lipstick and foundation are hiding your stresses away, like a magic set made to cover up your darkest secrets.

The suite that is specially reserved for me is crowded with Roko's team. Aside from him, he has two assistants to focus on my makeup. There are three people assigned to my dresses and one for my hair and nail styles. They are pretty popular in this field, that's why I'm sure everything will look just perfect.

“Is everything doing fine?” Mom suddenly emerged at the door. “Augustine, honey, I'll just wait for you at the stairs with your new escort,” she said before leaving me confused.