Mornings are blue

After the excitement of this morning, the lonely silence seemed strange. It isn't like I am not used to being alone. Before Lilly and I got into the situation we are in, I used to spend all my time alone. After the incident with the party girl, I pretty much stopped talking to people altogether, mostly out of fear. I don't want to be afraid – of course, I don't, but there's nothing I can do:

Although Lilly's the more capable out of the two of us, she's naive. Telling the school won't solve all my problems. Despite how afraid I am, I still want to stay with him, I want him to get better, I want him to stop hurting me, but I don't want to hurt him back. I need to stay with him no matter what, that's what love is, right?

This level of thinking is starting to make my brain overheat. I crawled over to the window and cracked it open. None of the windows in the school opened that wide. This is for safeguarding – stops people from getting in and, I guess, out. There is only one window in the school that opens wide enough for a person to fit through, and it is behind the blue door.

I pressed my face against the cool glass. Outside, it still looked like morning, but that my have a lot to do with the fact that it is morning. What I meant is that the world seems so fresh and blue. The sky is a bluey grey, the grass is a bluey green, and the houses are – well, about the same as they normally look but faded away in the distance because of the morning mist.

The field had a bunch of girls running laps. I felt sorry for them – the school uniform required you to wear shorts and short-sleeved shirts even in this cold, but most of them didn't seem to need my pity though. The girls went out of their way to get shorts so short that there was almost more ass visible than not, and shirts so short that they exposed their midriffs when their hands were down.

Lilly's been gone for about ten minutes. She isn't the kind of person that would just leave me alone like this without a good reason, but there is always the chance that, after whatever she had to do, she forgot about me. Well, that couldn't be helped. I got up off the floor and brushed off my skirt.

Wait, is it a good idea to go looking for Lilly, though? Now that I am thinking about it, she did seem to be worried when I last saw her. Maybe something I said had upset her – why didn't I think of that before? What were we talking about again? Rachel, right? Lilly and Rachel got along like cops and robbers, but didn't I say that what happened to me had nothing to do with Rachel. Then is Lilly going after Steph? But lessons were on right now, right? Did she plan to pull Steph out of her lesson?

No, I'm probably overthinking this. But what if I'm not. Steph is very manipulative. She definitely had me at the end of her string for a while. If I left her alone with Lilly too long, she might spin a victim narrative and turn Lilly against me for what I said to her this morning.

I raced down the stairs and headed toward the English department.