Mummy (Part 2)

Mummy cried and banged her head a few more times and, time, I only watched. This is my fault. I should have just gone home. I wouldn't have hurt mum like this. I fidgeted with the end of my skirt, twisted it tightly around my finger. I didn't want mummy to hurt herself. It is making me want to cry. Please mummy, hurt me instead.

Suddenly, mummy stopped and walked over back to the kitchen table and pulled out in front of the one I had been sitting on with a squeal. It was the kind of squeal that hurt your teeth and made you feel sick. She sat still for a few moments, looking down, not saying a word.

"Mummy?" She doesn't reply. She doesn't move. My voice is shake weak and shaking, so she may not have heard me. I tried calling it again, but the word got stuck in my throat. This is my fault, maybe it would be best if I just left.

As I approached the door out of the kitchen, mummy said. "Sit down."

Mummy's voice is cold, quite unlike how it was seething with anger, just moments ago. Maybe she's calmed down. Maybe mummy has forgiven me. But what is this cold I feel?

"Tell me, what happened today." Mummy said. "Please, don't you trust your mother?"

"I trust mummy, I do."

"Then go on."

"But daddy…"

"What about daddy? I'm getting impatient."

"Please, keep it a secret."

"Tell me!"

"I went to another girl's house!"

Silence.

Mummy looked away like I am something disgusting. I felt tears flowing from my eye. Please, don't make a face like that, mother. Don't go so quiet. "Mummy, I-I will never do it again."

She didn't turn around. I knelt down on the floor and pressed my face against her skirt, but she pushed me off. "If your father heard about this, he would blame me." Mummy spat at me. "You are a selfish child trying to drag me into this mess with you."

No. I didn't mean to hurt mummy. I want to be good. Please, don't hate me. I tugged on the skirt again. It's all my fault – I have to fix this. "It wasn't your fault, mummy. Tell daddy it wasn't your fault. It's all my fault."

When I said that, mummy put her arms around me. "Good girl." She said, patting me on the head. Mummy had on a smile that I didn't understand, and she felt so cold. She always felt cold, as though her skin were a sheet of ice.