Chapter 18

To say I was in heaven would be an understatement for what I felt at the moment. I hadn't responded immediately but once I got wind of what was happening, I kissed him back like my life depended on it. His soft lips nibbling on mine, his tongue seeking entrance. His tongue moved in and out my mouth making me moan. He erupted a feeling inside of me. The same feeling that killed my mother.

I pushed him with all the strength I gathered–although I didn't want to.

"I'm sorry" he apologized immediately

"You shouldn't have, "I said and walked into my apartment without glancing back.

I shouldn't have kissed him.

~~~~~

I would be lying if I said I didn't think of the kiss Etienné and I shared. Kissing him again had crossed my mind maybe once, okay maybe like the whole night before I fell asleep and maybe right now because I just burnt my tongue by drinking hot coffee just because I was thinking of HIM.

These thoughts were roaming freely in my head and they were driving me crazy, past the point of no return. I couldn't think properly because every thought that came to my head had something to do with him and I wouldn't be surprised if right about now I would be chained up and taken to a mental asylum.

Remember he has a girlfriend. My subconscious reminded me.

I would just go to his apartment, tell him the kiss meant nothing to me–even though it did– and it shouldn't mean anything to him either. What could go wrong? The door to Etienné's apartment was left ajar so I decided to enter without knocking. I instantly regretted it. They were kissing. Etienné was kissing Meredith hours after we kissed.

I quietly left as tears pricked the back of my eyes. I got into my apartment and closed the door with a loud thud afterward sliding down to the ground. Cliché, I know.

The dam of tears broke leaving me as vulnerable as I was when my mother died.

I hated myself for kissing him, I hated him for kissing me, I hated the fact that he seemed to bring back to life the feelings I had killed and buried for so long. It was just so alarming. I had never met anyone who had been able to evoke such feelings inside of me at least since my mother died.

After minutes of crying, I gave myself a pep talk on why men would always be dumb, and then I went out on a date with the only constant thing in my life. Ice cream.

~~~~~

Cal had emailed me some documents to work on for the meeting he had with Mr. Louis. I had been busy all day trying to get everything right and it seemed the temporary assistant Cal hired knew next to nothing about the job she was hired to do.

I heard a knock on the door.

"Whoever it is go away, "I said. Right now, I didn't need any form of distraction.

"It's me. Etienné"

Ok, maybe that form of distraction is welcomed. I quickly shut down my laptop, straightened invisible creases on my shirt, and went ahead to open the door.

"Hi" I greeted, instantly regretting how shaky my voice sounded.

"We need to talk," he said seriously

"I agree" I led him inside my apartment.

"Water?"I asked

"No, about the kiss...."

Straight forward. That's nice.

"It's okay. It was just a mistake?"I said, mostly asking myself.

"Yes, it was" an emotion close to disappointment flashed through his blue eyes but I must have imagined it.

"Great, it doesn't mean anything to me. It's not like I go around kissing guys and telling them it's no big deal when I'm dying to kiss them back" I said in one breath.

Way to go Krystabel.

"What?" he asked confused

"Nothing. I heard it in a movie and I've always wanted to say it"

I gave myself a mental high five for the cover-up.

"We're forgetting about the kiss?" he asked

"What kiss?" I asked and he smiled.

"I'm having lunch with my Mom" he paused "Would you like to have lunch with us?" he asked

"Yes, I would love that besides I get to see your mother"I beamed like a lit lamp.

"It's an hour from now. At Airê de restoration" he informed me

"I'll be there, "I told him

"I know we said we're forgetting about the kiss but I feel guilty so I'm sorry"

Kiss me again. I wanted to say but I ended up nodding my head. He had a girlfriend. I couldn't have him. We can't be together. Somehow, that raw fact made my heartache for the first time in years.

~~~~~

"You must be Krystabel, my son is always talking about you non stop" Etienné's mother welcomed me.

"It's nice to finally meet the woman who raised a gentleman" I praised

"What can I say? I did a pretty good job" she said and I laughed.

"So what can I help you with?"I asked setting my clutch bag on one of the tables

"Nothing, sit back and relax," she told me

"Not going to happen, I'll help set the table," I said and she nodded.

"Where's Etienné by the way?"I asked as I put the last of the plate on the table

"He has gone to pick up Meredith" she replied.

"Oh"

So Meredith was going to be here. What could go wrong?

Rose– Etienné's mother and I finished setting the table, had a little chat and somehow I felt jealous and broken that Etienné's mother was alive while my mother was killed all because I existed.

"They're here" Rose announced

I walked up to him

"Etienné St Clair Laurent, how dare you leave your mother alone to do all the work?"I asked while pulling his ear.

"Mum, she's pulling my ear" he whined.

"Continue Krystabel," Rose said and laughed.

"It will never happen again" he promised

I left his ear and he walked towards his mother feigning hurt.

"I don't approve of you pulling my boyfriend's ear" I heard Meredith say

I rolled my eyes

"Does it look like I care?" I asked

"Just warning you," she told me and walked away.