A bun

Well, let's just say that anything involving numbers and calculations amused and piqued my interest. I enjoyed working at the cashier's desk. Also putting to order Mr. K's financial records, receipts and transactions was a favorite thing to do. It kept my mind off my miseries, worries, and anxieties and the constant feeling of hunger and nausea I felt lately. This week alone I had collapsed twice and I had this tingling headache from afar. I will have to pass by the hospital on my way home.

Work was great today. All customers were on their best behavior and most left tips by the way. We had made more money today than any other day. As I picked my sling bag to leave for the bank to cash in today's sales I couldn't help but think that I might be pregnant and if it were so, I could not raise a bastard child from a traumatizing ordeal. Maybe it's just malaria as I hadn't been sleeping under a mosquito net.

As I entered the Life Care Medical Centre, my heart was pounding deep into my ribcage. Not because I felt sick but because I knew my fears might be confirmed as I had missed my periods by two weeks now. As I entered the doctor's room, I had lots of thoughts pondering in my mind. The doctor whose name was Linda greeted me with a smile and ushered me in to have a seat. As I explained my symptoms she profusely typed them on her laptop. She sent me to the laboratory for some blood work to be done. I nearly collapsed when the laboratory scientist gave me a urine cup to bring my urine sample, as this meant that a pregnancy test is imminent.

As I sat on the waiting bay, waiting for the lab results, I thought about raising a child from a man who had stolen my dignity, my virtue as a woman and for the life of me, I could not imagine myself doing it. Honestly, I was going to detest that child, hate the child with every ounce of breath and blood in me. I was awoken from my thoughts when my name was called out by dr. Linda. As I sat I saw her smiling face and I wanted to wipe the smile out of her face. "Congratulations Sabrina! You are going to be a mother!", she said. That statement hit me like a hurricane like a wrecking ball and damn did I start to cry.

I could not explain why I was crying. I was having these ambivalent, mixed feelings of excitement, disappointment, grief, and immeasurable happiness. I could not understand why despite not wanting to have this child I felt this great need to protect this child from anyone including myself. I wanted to be a great mother to this child despite what its father did to me. After resolving in my heart that I was going to keep this baby and see it grow, I awoke from my crying stupor and realized dr. Linda was consoling me. I entangled myself slowly from her embrace and told her, that despite having been raped I was going to keep the pregnancy. She encouraged me to enroll in the antenatal care clinic and also gave me a prescription of ferrous tablets to boost my blood hemoglobin level as well as plasil tablets to prevent nausea.

As I left the hospital I felt like a new woman. I was so proud of myself for not being swayed into aborting which is against my principles, and above all for giving this child an opportunity to see this beautiful world. As I boarded a bus home, I thought about different things like what names to give the baby if it's a girl or a boy, where will the money to take care of the kid come from, and how my parents would have felt about the pregnancy if they were alive. Most importantly I had to inform Mr. K about these changes of circumstances as he had proved to be the closest person I had to a father.

"Ooh, Sabbie I don't know what to say. Are you happy though?", said Mr. K. I replied, "I think I want to have this baby all the same. I think it's the best thing to do. This baby will be the greatest source of comfort after what I have been through. Be my support, Mr. K."

"Of course I am here for you always. And now please quit calling me Mr. K. you can call me Pap's, Dad, Father or any other name you want. Am going to be a grandpa finally." Shouted Mr. k over the phone and I couldn't help but giggle with happiness as I hung up.