The waitress

It's been one week since I started working as a waitress. It's been one hell of a ride but I am determined to get the hang of it and learn the ropes little by little. The staff here have been amazing, giving me the support I need here and there. The customers are beginning to like me and it's true what they say, a little smile goes a long way, and that you are never fully dressed without a smile. But I can't seem to stop fidgeting and panicking when around the male customers especially the older-looking ones. They just give me the jitters in my spine. They give me loads of anxiety attacks.

The other day while I was taking orders from a customer, one old man, who has been hitting on me since I started working here Mr. K's, and who wasn't taking no for an answer, took hold of my hand while I was passing. All the bad things from that fateful day that he did to me came rushing to my mind and all I wanted to do was get free from that man. I tried to wriggle my hand from his hold but he was holding my hand so tight that I was sure it was going to blister. When I realized my attempts were proving futile, I had a sudden rush of adrenaline and I was beginning to have an anxiety attack, so I did the only thing I could do to get away from him. With my other free hand, I picked up the hot coffee he had ordered that was on the table and I spilled it straight to his face. When he left my hand, as he tried to cover his face from the burning, I just ran and never looked back until I got to Marcus's apartment.

When I securely locked the door, I slid down by the door and sat there for hours crying in anguish and hyperventilating until I passed out. When I came to, all I could think of was the rape. I just wanted to be clean of the shameful act, Jake's father did to me. At that point in time, that old man at the restaurant was just like him, despicable. I went to the bathroom and took a bath. I didn't realize I was overdoing the body scrubbing until I felt a burning sensation on my body because of bruising. As I was looking for something I stumbled upon my pocket Bible and I remembered the verse my mother used to read to me when I was sad, Psalms 34:18, " God is close to the brokenhearted, he saves those crushed in spirit." I reread that verse over and over until I felt calm.

That night's sleep wasn't easy to come by, since I was scared that if I closed my eyes, that wicked, evil man would come to get me. But sleep being the master it is, I slept but the nightmares kept me awake subconsciously. If that man wasn't sexually molesting me over and over, he was coming at with a knife stabbing me, or with a gun shooting me when I tried to escape from him over and over. I couldn't sleep, I was going insane. It was only in the wee hours of the morning that I slept well, after praying to God to continue protecting me like a mantra.

The following morning I was woken up by a knock on my door. When I peeped through the hole I saw Mr. K. Remembering how I ran off from the restaurant, I knew he was here to fire me from my one-week-old job. How ungrateful could I be? When I opened the door, he had two mugs of Java coffee. He offered me one and I offered him a seat so that I could at least explain myself. At least I owed him that after yesterday's occurrences. I began, ' Am sorry Mr. K about yesterday. What I did was unforgivable and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me for disrespecting your business the way I did. I will understand and not hold it against you if you fire me..."

Before I could continue rumbling, he held my folded palms in a loving fatherly way and said, " Sabby, you're like a daughter to me. I won't fire you. I have realized you get quite uncomfortable serving male customers. Did something happen to you in the past that makes you react the way you do? " I didn't respond. I couldn't even look up to meet his peering gaze. I just looked down as a traitor tear fell down onto my skirt. I think he saw me try to wipe out the tear, then he continued," I don't want you to feel uncomfortable when working. Since you have some accounting knowledge as I read from your CV, I was thinking maybe you could be like my cashier and accountant at the same time even though the pay isn't much. You will be behind the counter, that way no man will make you uncomfortable. Is that okay with you Sabby?"

I didn't know what to say, I just nodded my head like an obedient little child. If there were Angels still on earth, Mr. K was one of them.