“What lies at the end is merely the shivering cold touch of reality.”

After getting back to the dorm, I inform Mia of the things she needs to do, of course, that includes sticking to the alibi I created, quitting the Hunting Club in a casual manner, and trying as much to avoid Owen yet under any circumstances she should not arouse his suspicions. After that, we parted ways.

When I arrived back at my room, I unlocked it and head inside. I immediately notice an annoying little bastard with white hair sitting in the middle of my room, circulating his mana.

"Oh, you're back." Shin opened his eyes as he notice my arrival.

"What are you doing here, you pervert?" I said as I raised my dagger up. "And how did you get in."

"Teleportation is really useful when you know how to use it wisely, you know." Shin said with smile.

"It's not wise, I would assume perverted teleportation user like yourself would have the thought of breaking into someone's house crossed their mind at least once or twice." I sighed as walked further into the room and dropped off my belongings before slumping on to my bed.

[Eternal Mimicry - Sound Barrier]

"Hey, hey, hold the fuck up, what are you doing!" I shouted as I took out my daggers again.

"Putting up a sound barrier?" He sent me a confused look.

"A sound barrier means always means a murder or some unspeakable things."

"The school may have planted some listening device." He said with deadpan face.

"Oh, right, but stay 6 feet away from me."

"So, how did it go with Mia?" Shin asked.

"She's fine, for now." I answered. "How about Eliss?"

"Killed the vice-general bastard before he could touch her. Want to see his head?"

"No thanks. Right, the Demon Seed was implanted by Owen Llewelyn, a third year and the leader of Hunting Club. I supposed you would want that intel?"

"I see, so it was him all along, I had a slight suspicion, but, it wasn't strong enough." Shin nodded.

"He has been corrupting PRSM Academy's student for years. It seem to have an artifact or mana technique that allowed him to shift his appearance, in which he used to change his identity," I warned, it wasn't really specified exactly in the novel since he made quite a small appearance, though his influence was huge. "Also, could you cast a Guardian of the Void to protect Mia for a while? She'll be avoiding him and the Hunting Club, so it may arouse his suspicion."

"I see, but wouldn't eliminating him be a better option?" Shin asked.

"Are you crazy? Put your self in the shoe of that demon king bastard. 'Ah what a nice day. Hmm? A vice general of my army died on an important mission? No biggie, just accident. Hmm? Another trustworthy demon that I had sent to fulfill an important purpose for years just got eliminated? And on the same day? Not to worry, just another accident.' He's not going to brush it off that easily isn't he?" I reasoned with him. "And the last thing we would want is a whole army of spy infiltrating this fucking place, you already know how shitty this place's security is against that bastard, yes?"

"So cautious, how boring," Shin muttered.

"Yeah, let's see you say that after the world is destroyed and you get tossed back into the cycle of regression." I retorted.

"Tch. Oh yeah, here." Shin tossed me a book that seemed quite ancient. "It's the Mana Technique [Storm of Emptiness]."

"Oh right, there was the Mana Technique." I caught the book and started reading through the pages. "You have already learned it, didn't you?"

"I've already learned almost every Mana Technique that is obtainable in the Human Domain," He answered.

"Figured." I began to read through the pages. Since Shin had learned many Mana Technique through his past regressions, all of them wasn't specified, however, [Storm of Emptiness] was mentioned in one of the chapters. It essentially allows the user to create a small hurricane using Wind Element Mana, trapping the target in a zone where there are no oxygen. The aspect in which allows one to create a zone with no oxygen required extreme concentration using the Wind Element mana. "Alright, thanks, I'll learn it in my free time." I put the Mana Technique in my dimensional storage.

"What are you planning to do next, if there is no more anomalies and the round goes as planned, there should be no more huge 'event' until the Mid-Term Exam."

"Isn't that obvious? Growing my power, of course, by any mean possible…" I answered with a faint conviction.

"All right, that's all, I'll be heading back now." He said as he began to stand up. "Remember to not disappoint me."

[Eternal Mimicry - Teleportation]

His figure vanish in a blink of an eye and I was left with the emptiness of my room.

The silence was calming, yet, it did not quench my unease.

The world around me does not exist in my imagination. I understood it extremely well.

But, I was also the one that continued to push away that very fact and pretended like it did not existed.

All dreams must come to end. What lies at the end is merely the shivering cold touch of reality. I was aware of that.

Yet, what use was there in clinging to such meaningless beauty of dreams while knowing the horrors of reality beyond it?

To keep my sanity? To see the Epilogue? To witness the end of this world? To live a better life?

Is it really not possible to do all that without the expense of my pride?

I do not give a single fuck? I wanted to die out of embarrassment for holding on such a meaningless lie.

A facade is unsightly. It is disdainful. For the longest time, I had believe in such a notion.

Such hypocrisy.

I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do anymore.

My mind is a mess.

"I need a smoke."

—-

—Ding Ding

As I walked out of the convenience store, I immediately felt the cold breeze of the night brushing against my face.

I took out a pack of cigarette that I had bought. Then, I unsealed it before taking one and and put it my mouth, letting it hung right between my teeth.

"Ah, I forgot to buy a lighter…" I muttered. "That's fine, I guess."

I channeled my mana, I imagine a tiny ember of fire burning into to life. In a few moments, a small flame materialized on the tip of my finger.

As I used it to light the cigarette, I found myself staring at the fire, the bright red mana that had taken form of a small flame.

Mana. Such miracle that would've been considered an impossible fantasy on Earth. The warmth of it coursing through my my body was one of the very things that reminded of my position.

It had been mere days since I had reincarnated in this world. Yet, to some extent, I am already adapting to it.

It was terrifying.

Changes can mean many things. But, in my opinion, most importantly of all, changes meant that we would lose something while gaining another.

By reincarnating, I found myself excited for a prospect of a new chance in a world in which I loved. Yet, as much as a dream it felt like, death, unease, anxiety, calamity was now watching intensively.

Thus, I began to once again longed for the peaceful life I once had and now lost.

As I reminisced about the dull yet calming life I once lived, A part me also began fearing for the day I would lose myself.

"How tiring," I sighed quietly. I inhaled and slowly blew a puff of smoke. I watched it disperse with the cold air of the night, secretly wishing my unease would vanish along with it completely.

"Oh, Jin…?" Suddenly a high-pitched voice lightly echoed quietly somewhere in front me, snapping me out of my own thought.

I looked up, searching for the source of the voice. Then, I noticed the two figure sitting on a bench, just a few meters away from where I was standing.

I recognized the two figure as Mia and Shin, sitting next to each other while sipping some hot coffee can in which they may have gotten from the nearest vending machine.

"Hehe, couples these days, how cute." I chuckled and muttered in an audible tone as I walked past them, trying to not disturb their bonding time.

"Wait." I suddenly felt a warm hand grabbing tight of my own. "Sit, for a moment," Mia softly said.

"Young Bitchtr- Mistress Mia, I don't think it's really a good idea to have someone like me as an emotional support next to you when you are about to ki- I mean talk to a hot guy."

"Sit down, asshole." Her voice contradicted the overall message of her words, it was calming, and not single trace of coldness could be felt.

Her hand, I noticed, were the same hand that had gripped my arms tightly to the point in which blood slowly seeped out.

'I wondered if she is feeling the same emotion as I am.' I thought those meaningless words to myself, knowing full well how impossible that logic sounded.

What am I even thinking? My mind is really a mess now. I need some sleep.

Even so, I sat down, I looked at Shin, only being able to deduct the fact that she most likely called him out here was to find some comfort.

All noise quickly died down amongst ourselves, and silence prevailed for mere moments.

"You know, if some one were to see you out here, sitting with two guys on a bench in the middle of the night, it could become quite the nasty rumor, no?" I suddenly said, breaking the silence. "'Young Mistress Mia of the Gentle Clan is playing two guys at once?', something like that."

"Bullshit, the only rumor that would be going around is how two guys is harassing one girl," she stated.

Fuck, she's getting good at handling my words of asshole-ness.

"You smoke?" She suddenly asked.

"Wow, you're quite observant, I didn't think you would be able to deduct such information from looking the lit cigarette hanging between my lips," I said in a sarcastic tone.

"I mean you look like the type to just have that there in order to try and look cool."

"No, I do-… actually, on a second thought, I totally do look like the type to do so," I nodded in agreement.

"What does it taste like?" She asked.

"Bitter. But, not as bitter as my feeling whenever I see the face of you fuckers."

"Rude." Shin commented.

"Okay, edgelord, we got it." Mia sighed, losing all hopes she had left for me.

"Um, are you all right?" She questioned, her voice coming out a little hoarse.

"What with the sudden change of topic? And what's that question? It's really creeping me out. Though, the real question is are YOU all right? I wasn't the one gripping my own arms so tightly to the point in which I started dying of blood loss," I knew what she meant and I gave her a skeptical look.

"S-Shut up, asshole, I was trying to be considerate." She blurted in embarrassment.

"Yeah, and that's exactly why it's creeping me out."

"Man, you really are bad at comforting girls," Shin sighed with deadpanned face.

"I'm not hot, so that's a skill that I do not need to learn."

"I feel bad for your future girlfriend."

"What a coincidence, I feel bad for her as well."

"Pfft-" our laughter burst out, echoing through the calming night before dissipating along with the coldness and tension in the air.

"Anyways, I'll leave you lovebirds be. Goodnight." I began to rise up as I looked at the time on my phone which had just turned 11.

"Wait." Mia once again hurriedly stopped me.

"What is it?"

"Can I try just one?"

"Try what?" I returned a question, following her gaze I realized she was eyeing the pack of cigarette in my hand. "Oh, this?" I held up the cigarette pack.

"Yeah." She nodded. I looked at Shin in the corner of my eyes to notice the slight surprise in his expression, before morphing back into a calm, indifferent one.

"Pfft- you're too young to be thinking of smoking, don't even bother." I threw out some empty words towards her before creating a small flame that engulfed the cigarette pack, it was powerful enough to burn it into ashes.

"How stingy." Mia muttered.

"Think of it as me doing you a favor, it'll give you a bad reputation, and also, Shin doesn't like girls who smokes."

"I don't mind it, actually." Shin said.

"…" Mia's face began to burn up as it slowly turned red, yet, she was looking at me with a slight annoyance in her eyes probably thinking something along the line of 'couldn't have said that shit in private?'.

[Wind Mimicry]

I forcefully mustered one last smile before vanishing and began drifting away with the cold breeze of the frigid night.

This is not a simple story of a hero saving the world. What we had to face from here on out was a being that was beyond anything comprehensible, it was an inevitable situation. Even one misstep could lead me to an eternal death.

My reincarnation had occurred few days ago, yet, I keep seeing the humans and demons around me as nothing more than 'character', and the environment around me as mere 'settings'.

Watching those people helplessly being implanted with the seed that slowly transforming them into mindless slave really shook my very soul. Then, it hit me.

Reincarnation meant that I was apart of this world now. I knew that, yet, I kept pushing that very fact away.

Why? I asked myself.

Indulging myself into these worthless dream and facades was also nothing more than a way to escape the reality I needed to be facing.

I knew it was impossible for myself to let go for now.

But…

"I've had enough. I do not wish to feel pathetically fine anymore."

As I whispered these words, another part of myself began to yearn for the day I have fully accepted the world around me and find my own self again.