Back Again

Checking my watch I realized it was indeed too late to get groceries, not that I would be needing those anyway. I made my way back toward the train station and although the day had been long and disappointing, I couldn't help but admire the evening glow of our second sun Sol as it swept across the buildings in an almost blindingly beautiful way. There were little to no trees present but the city seemed angelic nonetheless and the glow of sun appeared as halos resting atop each building I left behind me. The words of Dr Stoner kept on racing through my thoughts.

"There is a virus in your system, but it's not like anything we've ever seen before. Normally a composition or even a part of one could be found, and so we would know how to combat the virus by studying what it's made off."

"I'm guessing that's not he case here is it?" I had asked, to which he responded

" No it's not. The virus you have in your body is a new composition, which means we have no previous knowledge to work from because it doesn't adhere to structure. In the simplest term, it's as if the virus is constantly changing or evolving but we cannot be sure because it's hard to even study it in the first place."

I nodded my head slowly at his words to let him know that I had an idea of what he meant. While I was no genius I wasn't an idiot either so I did for the most part understand. Remembering that he had said there was good and bad news I turned to ask him, " Surely if that is the bad news then the 'good news' can't be that good?"

He seemed to consider telling me for a moment before he said, " Well, the good news is that we found it before the virus could spread too far into your spinal cord. Which should mean we will be able to monitor you and prevent it from spreading any further while we work on a cure. "

I hadn't said anything after he was done but instead chose to gather my things to leave. He had told me to trust in the hospital that they would find a cure and if I couldn't trust them I should trust science. I didn't know what to do with any of the information as it was all too overwhelming to process. I wanted to scream, cry and throw up at the same time, which logically wasn't possible but still very much what I wanted to do.

Virus, a fucking virus.

Despite all the things that it could've been it had to be a virus. Yet as utterly, maddeningly frustrated as I was, I knew that leaving the hospital wasn't the best choice. And that in theory if I were to actually find help or be safe or even alive, then my best guess would be staying in the hospital.

With those thoughts in mind, the train finally came to a halt and I strolled lazily along the route to my home, yet again reminiscing on the life I had failed to provide for myself simply because I was deemed different from everyone else.  As I continued home I continued to entertain thoughts of what it would be like if I had actually been born differently or into a different family,  with these thoughts infiltrating my mind so much that I almost missed the last turn to my apartment building. 

I had just gotten into my apartment when I felt a vibration in my purse and upon checking my phone I realized that the hospital was calling me. I didn't want to panic because I didn't even answer the call yet and couldn't be sure it was more bad news, so I just breathed and picked it up when the familiar and mellow tone of Dr. Stoner greeted me from the other end of the line. 

" Miss Azurine, this is Dr.Stoner, I hope you got home well." 

"Yes good evening Doc. I'm aware of who it is, I did get home quite okay, but did I forget something at the hospital?" I inquired

" No you did not but due to some recent developments, I hope we won't be asking too much in requesting that you stay at the hospital for a few days, so we can have some more checks done on your condition. 

A moment of silence passed before I responded, "Doc, is the condition worse than we originally anticipated?" Another moment of silence and by now my heart was racing as fast as the same trains that I had used as daily transport. "Doc-" I started again but was cut off by his mellow tone, though it was a bit more somber than the last time. 

" Ms. Azurine, I'm not trying to scare you but at this point it's hard to explain what we're seeing so I think showing you would just be much better," he finished his statement with a sigh. 

"Ok I'll be back there in about two hours" 

"Thank you miss Azurine, we greatly appreciate it," and with that the call was disconnected and once again I was left with my thoughts, though this time they vastly differed from the last. 

Within two hours time, true to my word, I was once again standing at the entrance of the hospital, though this time I was adorned with bags containing all my necessities for my stay. I had no idea just how long I'd be staying so I packed at least a week's worth of clothing, knowing I just could wash and recycle clothing items if my stay extended that time. When I arrived at the front desk, I was greeted by the same nurse from earlier and she let me know that a nurse had already been waiting for me, but to my surprise, the nurse was accompanied by Dr. Stoner. 

"I would say it's good to see you again Miss Azurine, but given the circumstances I don't think that would be appropriate, shall we?" He held his hand out for me to follow the nurse who had previously taken my bags and we moved towards the back of the hospital where the wards are located. 

Stopping at door number 100 we entered a room that looked, I would assume like all the others, clean, white and bright with the bare necessities. 

"Well this is where you'll be staying for the next few days, it isn't much but it'll do for now. Once you're fully settled in, just let Nurse Joy page me, as I have a few other things I'd like to address regarding your stay here." With that he turned to leave the room but just before he was out of sight I called out to him. 

"Hey Doc," he paused and turned to acknowledge my incoming question, when I realized he was waiting for me to speak, I asked the question that's been on my mind since I was called back to the hospital. "I'm dying aren't I?"

He looked a bit solemn before answering "At this point, I can't say that you'll live." And with that he was gone.