14.) Emory

Toru sat on the bed with a soft smile watching his mother talking with Kaya, the pair seeming to get along really well made him happy. "I'm sure Toru wouldn't mind, right?" Mina said, bringing his attention back to the conversation the women were having. "Mind? Why would I mind? I'd love it if you stayed here with me tonight. We can watch a movie or something. Until the meds kick in anyway." He chuckles

Kaya's cheeks turn pink and she looks at Toru with a soft affection. Since her arrival he's been analyzing her every reaction and move, unsure how to proceed now that she was talking to him again. Hajime needlessly told him that just because things ended with Kenji didn't mean that he could just start pursuing her himself, no matter how much he loves her. Of course Toru knew that already.

He knew from experience that healing after having your heart broken was something that could take a lot of time, that Kaya may react in ways that no one saw coming. He just wanted to be there for her more than anything. Even if she never loved him back the same way, he's goal was to at least never experience a time in his life where he couldn't just speak to her.

"Thanks Toru. I'll still have to go down and get my bag out of my car. Not to mention I should find something to eat. I haven't had anything since breakfast." Kaya admitted guiltily. "Why didn't you say something sooner? I could have had something sent up for you. You should be taking better care of yourself." Toru lectured, feeling more upset with himself than anyone else he'd allowed her to sit there for hours hungry and hadn't even thought to ask.

"I was waiting for you to come to work to eat with me, then I found out what happened and I wasn't hungry, I just wanted to get here. I'm only just starting to feel it now." Kaya defended, her hands rubbing together nervously, as though she was prepared to be talked down to. "Fair enough. Tell you what, you can go get your bag and I'll order dinner for the three of us." Toru told her gently, causing Kaya to look up at him.

Her eyes became thankful, a small smile on her lips that made Toru desperately want to know what she was thinking at that moment. He hoped it was that she realized she could be human and make mistakes without having to worry someone will make her feel like shit for it. Had he truly known what she was thinking he wouldn't have believed it easily anyway.

Toru walked his mother and Kaya to the door, wrapping an arm around his mother to give her a light hug and kissing her on the top of the head before the two went downstairs. He watched them walk out the door and down the hall, catching Kaya looking back at him for a moment hesitantly before she went around the corner. He wanted to hug her as well, to wrap his arms around her and tell her how happy he was to have her back in his life, but he felt just because she hugged him to give comfort earlier didn't mean he could just hug her whenever he wanted.

Toru walked back into the room and pulled out his phone, quickly ordering shrimp and grits for three from South City Kitchen, then adding an order each of the peach pie, Mississippi mud, and banana pudding for them all to share. Thinking again how Kaya hadn't eaten lunch he decided to add on some Pimento cheese as well, only then paying and giving the instructions for delivery now that he was satisfied with the order.

He put his phone away and pressed the button to speak to someone at the desk, waiting for the beep to come through. "Yes Mr. Oikawa?" A voice came through the speakers. "I'll be needing a runner in the food delivery area in about 45 minutes." He responded. "Yes sir, we'll make sure you have someone available." The voice responded, clicking the line closed just as he said his thanks.

Knowing the walk down to the car and back would take at least 20 minutes for his mom and Kaya to complete, he decided to pull some clothes out of his drawer and take a shower. He was grateful that no one had mentioned that he was starting to smell, seeing as he hadn't showered in three days, still too depressed to really get out of bed or do anything. While he still felt very much like there was a cloud looming over him, he also felt that it was starting to part and allow the sun to shine through.

As he showered he tried to think of the best way to go about telling Kaya all the things he knew he needed to stop keeping hidden from her. He knew she had to know that he's been an awful person, she'd seen it first hand in their first interaction. But he wanted to stop keeping secrets from her, and he wasn't sure where the best place was to start. Hajime told him that it might be best to ease into it first, telling her the truth of things as they came up until he got a little more used to sharing with her.

He had to admit that he was relieved how well she took it when he'd told her the truth about his depression. He thought she might give him that same pitying look he's been given from some of his own family members when he'd first told them about it. Or worse, that stare that let him know the person thought he was just making excuses, so many out there who don't consider mental illnesses to be real.

Instead, she looked happy that he hadn't held back for once. He closed his eyes thinking of the warmth of her embrace, the way she smelled like a mix of fruit and flowers, how he never wanted to let her go again. If she was ok with MDD and insomnia maybe she wouldn't judge him if she knew all the other things that he kept hidden. Well maybe most, but not all.

How was he supposed to tell her about Aimi? No matter how he looked at it he knew most of that story made him look really bad and he was none too inclined to allow her to see him that way. The idea of allowing that curtain to fall was something he couldn't bear. His family all knew the truth and loved him, but even they felt he took things too far, and they were right.

He sighed deeply and thought of Hajime telling him how he didn't deserve her friendship if he couldn't be honest with her. The most annoying thing about Hajime was his tendency to be right, especially when it came to telling Toru to cut his shit. Toru rinsed the last of the conditioner from his hair and turned the water off before reaching for his towel and starting to dry off.

He stepped out of the shower and looked at himself in the mirror, his scattered stubble starting to become more obvious from not having shaved in about a week. He chuckled at the thought of how Hajime was jealous of Toru's height, meanwhile Toru could only ever wish to have half the amount of beard potential as his best friend. Even if he didn't shave for an entire month the best he could hope for was a few patches of what resembled dirt more than facial hair.

Toru picked up the razor provided to him and made quick work of making his face baby smooth again before looking himself over and wondering if Kaya might like him better if he could grow a beard. No sooner than the thought occurred to him, he quickly shook it from his head. He realized she must somewhat like the way he looks from the way she looked at him sometimes, but he wanted her to like him for who he is, not what he looks like.

Takeru thought at first his uncle's interest in Kaya was simply because he did always have a thing for shorter girls and curls. While it's true those features caught his eye immediately, that's not why he couldn't stop thinking about her. It's not like she was the first woman to ever decline him, he'd been ignored plenty of times over the years. The thing that made him want to know everything about her was that look in her eyes.

He couldn't put his finger on it at first, but after the night he rushed back from Atlanta and saw the truth of her relationship he figured it out. He had been drawn to her because he could tell they were kindred spirits. On the outside she's confident, independent, thriving, and happy. However since meeting her less than a month ago he knows that she has a lot of self-doubt, probably even some of that self-loathing he himself is so famous for.

She put on such a big smile, even he thought she must be blissfully happy with a great man who treated her the way she deserved. But it was a lie, a lie she sold herself on as well. I lie he never wanted her to tell herself again. Now fully dressed, shaved, and bandages back in place he took in his reflection in the full length mirror hanging on the bathroom door. "If I were ever lucky enough to be hers, I'd make sure it wasn't a lie." He says aloud, determined.

Toru sits on the bed, seeing that housekeeping came in and changed out the sheets while he was in the bathroom and it occurs to him he should make sure the spare bed is ready for Kaya to stay. He moves over to the hall and opens the door, spotting the housekeeping team and their cart. "Hey, sorry to bother you guys, my friend is staying in the room with me tonight. The bed in there only has a sheet on it." He informed them, the manager of the team giving him a smile.

"Ok, I'll send someone in just a moment. Is there anything specific he may need?" The older woman asked him dutifully. "I have no idea, I can ask her when she comes back." He answered, wondering how Kaya liked to sleep. "Oh, so it's a lady friend. We can connect the beds." The manager offered. "NO! No, it's not like that." He told her, his face falling a bit that what he was saying was true. "Separate beds please, she and my mom should be back upstairs before too much longer." He answered.

The manager answered him with a hum and went back to work, leaving Toru to walk back into his room and wait for the women to return. About five minutes later a soft knock was heard on the door, a smile coming across Toru's lips when he told them to come in and the door revealed the two women. Kaya sat her bag down next to the closest and studied Toru for a moment. "So you showered and shaved then?" She asked with a giggle.

Toru felt his heart racing and hoped it was the wet hair and change of clothes that brought her attention to it and not the lack of smell. "Yeah, I was getting pretty grimy." He responded, with his nose scrunched as though smelling something disgusting. "I don't know about grimy, but you did look like an old teddy bear that lost half its fur." She teased, Mina joining her in the laugh. "His father can't grow a beard either." Mina revealed, leaving Toru to pout.

"I don't tease you for not being able to reach things." He shot back. "No, you just give me nicknames for short people." Kaya recalled, taking a seat next to his bed. "I just want you to have a nickname that describes you." Toru shot back, sticking his tongue out at her. "Yeah, yeah, besides, you've never seen me try to reach for anything I can't reach." Kaya pointed out, causing Toru to try to picture it in his head.

"Are you one of those short girls who climbs things with the ease of a monkey in order to get things from up high?" He asked. Kaya shook her head. "I just use sense and don't put stuff up high. One of the perks of living alone and having your own office that you put together." She responds. "Ok, but what about when you go to the store?" He asks. "I take one of those arm grab things." She laughs. "Well, that or go the same day and time as Kaname when that's possible." She laughed, thinking about the many times her brother helped her.

"After we elope I promise to go with you to the store each time. I'm taller than Kaname, I can even get stuff from the 'ask for help' shelf." Toru jokes, watching Kaya's cheeks tinge pink again. Mina looked at her son, then to Kaya, she heard the tone in his voice and knew it was a joke, but she also knew him well enough to know his jokes were almost always things he wanted but felt he couldn't have. Seeing the way Kaya blushed and agreed to the future scenario she couldn't help but wonder what the girl's thoughts were on her son now and kicked herself for not asking.

"So you're getting eloped then? When's the baby due?" Mina teased, causing Kaya to become impossibly redder. Toru shot his mom a hard glance, which made Mina laugh nervously. "Why would there have to be a baby?" Kaya asked, sensing the tension between the mother and son. "Family curse." Mina answered quickly. "That I already dodged." Toru responded haughtily. "There's no time limit." Mina responded, crossing her arms.

Kaya looked at the two, a thought occurring to her, "Wait, Mina were you pregnant when you got married?" She asked. "Three months along with Tama." Mina announced happily. "Then Tama was nearly six months along with Takeru when she got married." Toru informed her. "And they wonder why I take birth control so seriously." He added, rolling his eyes. Kaya chuckled and realized why he was so appalled when he found out she and Kenji relied on pull out, then frowned at the thought of Kenji and how it turned out to be a good thing she wasn't actually pregnant that one time.

Toru saw the far off look in Kaya's eyes and knew she was thinking about Kenji, a feeling of jealousy and guilt coming over him. Jealous that Kenji knew what it felt like to hold and kiss her. Guilt that their conversation had led her to think about that asshole when the wound was still so fresh. They talked about it a little before Mina arrived, enough for him to know that he'd tried to convince her it was all lies and that the doctor had to put her on meds to get rid of an STI after all.

The three sat around talking about music, Toru amused to find out his mother had the hots for Semi Eita as well. As they talked the food arrived, to which both women thanked Toru for and ate happily. Kaya told him she'd never eaten at South City Kitchen before and that she'd have to check it out in person sometime to which he told her they could go together on a weekend and make a trip of it, bringing her family along for the fun.

Not long after they'd finished eating the housekeeping manager came in to ask Kaya what she would be needing for the bed, to which she kept her request simple by asking for a pillow and blanket. The woman insisted it was no trouble at all if she needed a sleeping mask or sound machine or anything, but she insisted she would be fine with just the necessities. As they made up the bed Mina wished Kaya and Toru a good night, then made her exit, happy that her son was in better spirits now.

Toru gave Kaya the remote and showed her how to use the guide or where to order movies at, telling her to pick them a movie and he'd see if he could find some popcorn. Kaya looked through the options, at first she thought she might put on a Christmas movie, but then recalling Toru told her he doesn't do well during the holiday's thought that may be insensitive and decided to put on Mama Mia instead, thinking it would be fun to torture Toru with a musical.

To her surprise he sang along to the songs and watched the movie happily. He told her he'd never seen the movie before, but that his mom loved ABBA so he grew up hearing all the songs and that the movie was much better than he thought it would be. He was even able to stay awake to finish the movie as they didn't bring him the Ambien until the wedding scene.

Rather than putting on another movie, the pair got ready for bed, brushing their teeth and using the bathroom before climbing into their separate beds. Kaya lay on her back looking up at the ceiling, while Toru lay on his side facing her and admiring her side profile. "Toru." Kaya started. "Hmm?" was the response he gave as he shifted his gaze from her hair to her eyes, her head turning to face him. "Thank you." She told him with a smile, a smile he'd never seen on her face before.

"For what?" He asked, the implication that her statement was a little crazy to thank him was thick in his tone. "Being you." She said simply, causing Toru to narrow his eyes at her suspiciously. "I'm not yanking your chain. I don't know what made you initially want to be friends, but you were all in and completely there for me from the start. Even though I still wouldn't call you by your first name and was suspicious constantly. Admittingly I wasn't sure if I truly considered you a friend.

While I was taking time to think, I thought about so much to do with my life for the last several years. I never realized just how alone I'd become after I started dating Kenji. A lot of my friends moved away and the ones that didn't I saw less and less of. I said you know that's life, we all got busy with our own things. But the truth is none of those people were truly my friend. You didn't care if I fought it, you insisted on being there for me when I needed it, and when I told you the thing I needed was space you gave it without question.

You've quickly become one of my favorite people in the whole world, even though I still kinda want to punch your face sometimes." She laughed. "You deserve a thank you, for being you. You're a caring person and a good friend and I consider myself very lucky to have you in my life." Kaya finished, Toru staring at her in silence. Every word she'd said felt like a lie to him. He could tell from the way she said it she believed all of those things, but to him he was still one of the worst people on the planet, and he didn't deserve to be one of her favorite people.

He wanted to tell her that no thanks was required, that he does all the things he does because he very quickly fell in love with her. But he knew to tell her he loved her would only scare her away. Not only had she just gotten out of a years-long relationship, but they hadn't known one another long enough for anyone to consider it normal to love her already, more so since they weren't even dating. Instead he took a deep breath and tried to let as much honesty as he could flow out of his mouth.

"Don't thank me for caring about you. I'll start to think you don't appreciate yourself or know how great you are. And if I do that, then you'll force me to understand how poor Hajime must feel dealing with me all the time. Besides, this friendship only has enough room for one self-loather." Toru told her seriously, causing Kaya to sit up in her bed as he spoke. She studied him for a moment, his face deadpan and serious.

Kaya stood and walked over to Toru, "May I?" She asked, gesturing towards the side of his bed. Toru nodded at her, unable to respond verbally that she wanted to join him on the bed as he was trying to catch his breath that she'd even asked to begin with. "Thanks, short people problems." She responded, hopping up as Toru sat up and gave her a little more space by scooting to the other side.

Kaya moved to balance on her knees and moved closer to Toru, she wrapped her arms around his neck this time, rather than his middle as she'd done earlier in the day. She rested her head on his shoulder and took a deep breath in then let out a small content sigh. "I hope one day I can show you that you have no reason to hate yourself. In the meantime, I'll just have to love you enough for both of us." She said just above a whisper.

Toru felt the tears prick his eyes, he wrapped his arms around her tight and allowed a sob to escape him. Kaya responded by moving her knees closer and buried her face into his neck. "It's ok." She soothed, rubbing his back. Toru felt his heart skip a beat, he'd just been telling himself not to cry in front of her, and now she was telling him he could. Not man up, or let it go, it's ok.

The two held onto one another a few more minutes as Toru sobbed into Kaya without speaking. When he calmed Kaya pulled away to examine his face, to which Toru gave her a weak smile. "Feel a little better?" She asked. He nodded, not looking directly at her, "I'll let you get to sleep then, you look two seconds from passing out." She chuckled. "Wait, could you, will you sit with me while I fall asleep?" Toru asked hopeful, desperate for her not to go back to her own bed and leave him.

Kaya smiled at him softly, and nodded slowly, her smile growing when she saw Toru's eyes light up. Kaya shifted her weight and swung her left leg off the side of his bed, her right foot tucked under her left knee and her right leg folded neatly under her as she faced him, allowing Toru to lay down. Once he was situated she took his hand and started swiping her thumb back and forth along his hand. Toru closed his eyes with a happy hum and let her scent wash over him as he fell off to sleep.