15.) Yellow Tulips

Saturday, December 12th, 2020

Kaya let out a yelp as Toru lifted her by the hips before placing her feet on the bottom bar of the buggy. He let out a mischievous laugh as he started quickly pushing Kaya and the buggy through the parking lot, laughing harder as Kaya started laughing and holding tight to the bar. "I think the groceries weigh more than you do." Toru teased when they reached Kaya's car in the parking lot.

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing." Kaya giggled, stepping down from the buggy and opening the trunk. The pair went to work putting all of their groceries from the buggy to the car, Toru's in the trunk as he had more stuff from just having moved, and Kaya's in the backseat. Once finished, Toru placed the buggy in the return, while Kaya started the car and warmed it up.

The stop at Kaya's place was made rather quickly, with Kaya going straight in while Toru grabbed everything from the back seat and carried it in to her. Kaya quickly placed all the cold items into the fridge and freezer, then placed all her shelf stable items on the counter still in the bag before heading back out to the car with Toru to take him to his apartment, where she'd promised to help him unpack and clean up.

Kaya looked around at the apartment community Toru had moved to, the three and four story buildings spread out across a wide area were overwhelming compared to her small complex, where you could park right out front of your apartment. Where Kaya's place was on the first floor of a two story building, Toru's was on the top of a fourth story one. Thankfully there were elevator's that could be used, one cargo one for moving large items, and two everyday use one's for residents.

Toru held open the door for Kaya, allowing her to walk first into the space, holding one of her reusable grocery bags she'd let him use for this trip since his were still packed. Kaya looked around at the common space, in neutral tones of grey and a floor plan that allowed her to see the kitchen, dining room, and living room all from first entering. She made her way over to the kitchen and saw the Veles bottle sitting on the counter.

Kaya helped Toru get all of his groceries unloaded, knowing he'd already spent the morning cleaning the entire kitchen so they could do so upon their return from the store. With the groceries put away, Kaya grabbed the Veles and went to clean the bathrooms while Toru dusted the ceiling fans and light fixtures, the two then split the work of cleaning all the windows, with Kaya doing the bottom half and Toru the top, finally sweeping and mopping all the floors.

Just as they'd finished, the truck with all of Toru's furnishings and other belongings arrived. Since he'd hired a moving company, the two didn't have to worry about moving the boxes and furniture in. Instead, Toru showed them where to find the cargo elevator while Kaya stayed in the apartment and directed them to the rooms the boxes were labeled for. By the time Toru had finished showing them where he wanted all of the large pieces of furniture, Kaya had already unpacked all of his dishes then washed, dried, and stacked them.

Toru came into the kitchen to get water for the movers, and saw that she'd placed the dishes along the counters neatly and raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm grateful for any help Kaya, but if you thought you couldn't put stuff away you're wrong. I don't care how it's set up or anything, it's all new so I'll have to figure it out anyway." He told her, smiling when she turned a little red in the face. "Just felt assumptions to put your things away. You might not like the way I organize." She answered cutely.

"I'm terrible at organizing. My last place was put together by a maid service I used. If you leave it up to me I'll likely do something that makes no sense to anyone, even me. I can just get another service to do it though." Toru told her gently, not wanting to feel like he took advantage of her assistance. "Ok, I'll set it up then. Honestly everything on the counter was making me feel a little anxious anyway." Kaya told him somewhat relieved. She had at first put a few things away before taking them out and thinking better of it, now that she had permission she was ready to go.

By 6 PM the kitchen and bathroom were completely clean and put away, the TV's mounted, Toru's clothes put away, and the furnishings in place. The only things left at this point were what Kaya assumed were different Knick Knacks and decorations, possibly some pictures. Toru came into the bathroom that Kaya had just finished putting the last towel away in. "Hey, I thought I'd order some pizza." He offered, Kaya giving a smiling nod as reply.

Kaya stayed at Toru's another hour, having pizza with him in a comfortable silence, both exhausted from their day. After they'd finished eating and cleaning up Kaya looked at the time and then gave Toru a small smile. "I should get going, I need a shower and want to get to bed so I can be rested for the drive tomorrow." She told him, causing Toru to feel a small panic inside. For just a moment he'd forgotten all about asking her to take him and planning to tell her about Aimi.

"What time should I expect you tomorrow?" He asked hesitantly. "Is 8 ok?" Kaya asked uncertainly, she herself was a morning person, but she didn't want him to feel as though he had to get up early on a Sunday. "Sounds perfect. That'll give us plenty of time to get up there and do all that needs to be done." Toru smiled weakly at her. "Thanks again for taking me. I know it was a weird request." He chuckled nervously. "It's no problem Toru. I don' t think it's weird you'd have things to take care of up there after a move." Kaya smiled.

Toru walked Kaya to her car, opening the door for her and holding her hand as she slid in, then closing the door behind her as she buckled herself in. When Kaya turned he motioned for her to roll the window down, "Let me know you made it home ok, and I'll see you in the morning." Toru told her, holding back his anxiety. "I will. Enjoy the new place." Kaya told him, reaching her hand out and rubbing his lightly to help calm him. "I'll let you know. Goodnight Toru." She answered.

_____________________

Kaya looked at the sign hanging over the gate before darting her eyes quickly at Toru. She wasn't sure what they were doing here, but she could tell all morning he seemed to be trying to prepare himself for something to come that he was struggling with, reasons unknown to her. "Is there a specific place I should park?" Kaya asked softly, catching Toru's attention who looked over at her with tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"You can park wherever." He told her, trying to put a smile on his face. Kaya nodded and pulled into a spot close by then turned her attention to Toru. As she tried to think of something to say he took in a deep breath and quickly got out of the car before jogging over to the driver seat and opening Kaya's door, to which she responded by looking at him with surprise. "You want me to come with you?" She asked.

"Yes, please. Though if you'd rather not walk in we can talk from the parking lot, but if you are willing, there's someone really important to me I'd like you to meet." Toru told her. Kaya gave him a soft and reassuring smile before taking his hand and joining him in the parking lot, pulling her coat a little tighter around her when the wind blew. "We can go in." Kaya told him as she stood to face him, Toru responding with a grateful yet sad smile.

Kaya followed Toru over to the building before he opened the door for her, Kaya standing to the side to allow him to enter after her. She looked around at the entryway, nothing but a table for signing in and information packs, a few plants, and a welcome sign were in the space. Toru walked over to an archway and entered with Kaya closely behind him. She followed him in silence as he found the space he was looking for.

Kaya stood next to Toru when he stopped in what seemed to be the right spot, his hand reaching up and brushing away some dust from a spot that was face level with Kaya. "This is my wife, Aimi." Toru told her softly. Kaya looked up at him in surprise, then at the plaque in front of the yellow urn reading 'Aimi Oikawa. 3/10/94 - 9/22/15. Beloved Wife and Sister.' "You saw my brother in law Daisuke on Thanksgiving." He told her as she stared at the plaque.

"Toru, I'm so sorry." Kaya told him with sadness in her voice. "Why, you're not the one who murdered her." Toru told her definitively. Kaya felt the way his voice trembled when he'd said how she died, followed by a tear falling down her cheek. "I meant that I'm sorry this is something you've had to endure." She told him, eyeing the date on the plaque. "September 22nd, 2015. The last time you had cream in your coffee before I offered you some of mine." She stated.

Toru chuckled lightly. "There's a lot of things I started going without when I lost her. They've started slowly coming back into my life since I met you." He tells her gently, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her a little closer. "I told you about Kaya when Hajime and I came, Angel. This is her." Toru spoke to the urn, reaching his other hand over and adjusting the lid a bit. "Yellow was her favorite color." Toru pointed out, trying his best to help things feel at ease.

"It's a very nice color." Kaya told him, looking back at Aimi's urn, a soft smile as she thought that tulips must have been her favorite flower as they were etched on it. "I met her my freshman year of high school. She was in my biology class. I was too nervous to talk to her, but then we wound up being lab partners. I fell for her almost immediately. That was it for me, I never cared about anyone else nor wanted another woman. I thought she'd be the only person I could ever possibly love.

We'd been married four months when she went to a peaceful rally pushing for equal rights at an office over in Castleberry Hill after a woman there started to feel uncomfortable that her new boss made remarks about her not being a very good employee simply because she was of Mexican descent. She used to go to those sorts of things all of the time, so that morning was like any other. She made me coffee while I made pancakes. I kissed her goodbye, told her I'd see her later.

I did see her later, but not the way I'd thought I would. Instead she was hooked up to countless machines keeping her alive. The doctors told me there was little to no chance she would ever live without life support, I knew that wasn't the kind of quality of life she wanted, but I held out for a couple weeks, just in case the doctor was wrong, ya know. I didn't leave that hospital room the entire time.

The guy that was shooting the people in the crowd was confused and thought he was at the picket line for the plant that had laid him off. He injured 27 people and killed 4 others, including Aimi and a 6 year old girl before he turned the gun on himself. In a matter of moments so many lives were changed, all because some dude had a bad day and chose violence instead of peace." Toru finished, wiping tears from his face.

Kaya took a moment to absorb all that she'd just heard, lightly rubbing Toru's arm in comfort as the pair stood in front of the urn in silence. Toru grew nervous as Kaya said nothing, worried that he was right about her not reacting well and he hadn't even told her yet about how terrible a person he'd become after losing her. Finally after what felt like an eternity for him, she turned her head and locked her eyes with his.

"Thank you. It means a lot that you decided to share all of this with me, and to bring me here. I'm sure it wasn't easy." She told him genuinely. Toru nodded his head in response, worry only spreading as he told himself that the look in her eye wasn't pity, though he couldn't place it. The only thing he knew for certain was that it was a look he didn't much care for and desperately wanted to help remove.

"We can go, I'm sure I made you uncomfortable enough for one day." Toru told her. "Actually, I realize this may be weird, but could I speak with her for a moment alone?" Kaya asked respectfully, causing Toru to blink at her with an uncertain gaze then nod, walking out to leave the woman he came to love with the one he thought would be his only love. As he closed the door of the Columbarium he could hear Kaya's soft voice, though not make out what it was she was saying.

Toru stood alone at the car, waiting for about five minutes before Kaya came out to join him. "Thanks Toru. If you want to go back in you can." Kaya offered, to which he shook his head. "To be honest, I don't come here often and never alone. It's too painful." He told her, Kaya giving an understanding smile. "Alright, where to next?" She asked. "I'm not really sure. I want to be able to talk more, explain more. I need to get a lot I've been hiding out in the open. But if it's all too much for one day, say the word and I can wait till another time." Toru stated, heart pounding in his chest.

"No, I'm ready to listen to all you'd like to share with me. Do you know a quiet place we can go to?" Kaya asked, Pulling her jacket more around her small frame to keep warm. "I know a little quiet café not far from here." He suggested. Kaya agreed to the idea and the two got into the car and made their way to the location 10 minutes later. There weren't many people inside, and the lady led Kaya and Toru to a small private room with a couch once inside.

Kaya and Toru sat in the café for nearly two hours, Kaya barely speaking and listening closely to all Toru had to say. He explained to her how he found out about his depression in middle school, that the condition was taken into account when he asked to go to a real school for high school. Explained that while he still struggled with depression after meeting Aimi, it felt less like a burden just from having her around, her support and knowing someone truly cared about him going a long way.

He told her how after he'd lost her he spent over a year so drunk and high that he barely remembers any of it. He told her that at first he avoided women entirely, until one night he drunkenly hooked up with one. He told her that for that little amount of time, feeling someone else's body against his, he didn't feel so alone. He told her how he allowed this to become his entire interaction with women and he'd started to view them as objects rather than people.

He told her how he hit another car one evening, driving under the influence of alcohol, oxycodone, and cocaine. Thankfully no one died, and his parents threw a lot of money at the problem to keep it out of the papers and courts, but it did make him finally decide to go to rehab. Once he'd finished rehab he went back to working for Seijoh Corp and taking college courses online. His father told him he needed to prove his worth by finding a company to acquire under the Seijoh name and run it well if he were to have hope of taking over Seijoh Corp one day.

He explained to her that it was actually his friend Hinata Shoyo from Karasuno Ltd. Who'd suggested Date Tech to him in the first place, telling him that it was a strong company that experienced a low point not long ago but was now back and strong. Toru decided to look into the numbers from there, deciding to approach them while they still hadn't become too big and make an acquisition more difficult.

He told her that meeting her flipped a switch inside of him, that he realized it was past time to stop hiding in his pain behind nameless women and treat women with the kind of respect he'd always been taught to. That he'd stopped sleeping around and had been ignoring women because knowing her made him want to be a better person. He told her that being near her made him feel like everything was going to be ok, and that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he knew he'd already dumped a lot onto her in such a short time frame. He also felt as though if she wasn't already scared off by all he'd told her already, she would be by his confession. Instead he kept it to himself and waited for her to finish collecting her thoughts and respond. The paranoia started to sink in as he waited, his mind made up this was the last conversation they'd ever have, but after a moment, Kaya reached over and took his hand, giving a small smile.

"I feel like I understand you a lot better now. I'm more than a little concerned about the way you seem to view yourself, you talk about yourself as if you're some kind of monster who'd done terrible things. All I hear is the story of a human man who's been through a lot, didn't cope super well for a time, and is trying his best to be the kind of man he wants to be. And I want you to know that I feel honored to help you feel as though all will be ok.

"If this is the stuff you thought would make me look at you differently, I have to say, it has made me do so, though I'm sure not in the way you thought it would. I feel as though you thought I might see you as a monster, maybe pity you. Instead I see how strong and stubborn you are. I admire those qualities about you and count myself lucky to be counted among your friends." Kaya told him, putting Toru's heart at ease at last.

He felt lighter, yet heavier at the same time. The only secret he was holding back from her now was his love for her. He was ready and willing to take that secret to the grave with him. The fact she still wanted to be his friend and admired him meant a lot, he could be happy with just that and not need more.

The ride back to Athens was spent with music playing, the two rarely speaking, but with small soft smiles on their faces. Toru thought about what he should do to thank Hajime for all his advice that had paid off better than he'd ever imagined. Meanwhile, Kaya thought about all the things she'd thought over in her time away from work and Toru, she hadn't anticipated the things he'd said. She was however, more convinced she was correct in her hypothesis of all things Toru though.