Power of a Feeling

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I freeze, my blood cold and tears welling in my eyes as I clenched my hand against my stomach as it turned. My heart burning with disgust, my blood boiling and my eyes strained at the horrendous sight.

The blood, so much blood as the bodies laid there I remembered thing I only wished I had forgotten.

"Three children and the mother were slain" Gaverns voice drills into my head as I walk deeper into the home. Swallowing the guilt, hatred and disgust of seeing this scene.

"He killed them" I say, my voice numb as I pinch the cloth of a little girls gown between my fingers.

"We do not know that for sure" Gaverns defends as I turn around to him.

"We don't? He single handedly slayed his family, do I need more evidence to mount against him?!" I reason as justice seems to want to inhabit me and my conscience.

"You need air" Gaverns orders me

"What I need is justice served for this crime" I tell Gaverns, my hand shaking with anger as heat builds in my cheeks.

"Evania! You are letting your past determine you decision. Please, use your sense in this decision?-" Gaverns reasons, and I cut him off.

"Believe me, past plays no part in this! He took four lives, proudly wearing their blood as a wicked trophy. An eye for a eye, a life for another!" I shout, walking out of the house and back onto the trail that blazed through the forest. My knees feeling weak as I remember the scene and lean against a tree.

"THEY HAVE BREACHED THE GATES!" A guard announces and I freeze.

"EVANIA!" I hear my name as I look back and see him. "EVANIA! RUN!" He urges me again as I run into the assembly hall as he follows me. His back to me and his sword drawn as I shut the doors behind us.

"We are not going to live through this, are we?" I ask him as his eyes glimmer with sadness.

"My dearest Evania" he says my name, "if you can live through this you can live through anything" his comforting words grounding me until suddenly I hear it. The assembly hall doors thump as I quiver.

"EVANIA?!" He shakes me as I look up to his gaze and wrap my arms around him.

"EVANIA!" I hear as I open my eyes and see deep blue eyes. Strangely familiar but cold, for some reason so cold! "Evania?" He calls me again as I smirk, "Is this a cruel joke?" He ask me as I nod my head at his question.

"No cruel joke, just a cruel, badgering memory" I tell him as I suddenly regret it.

"Remove your hands" I tell him as his hands stay placed on my cheeks, staring into my eyes, looking for my soul. "If your looking for a soul, your wasting your time" I tell him, dragging my hands from my side to my face and breaking apart his hands.

"Please inform the knight that we are ready to depart" I tell him, my voice cold, even I could sense the change it was obvious.

"We have only been in the village for not even a hour" he tells me and I snicker.

"I don't care, I have duties to attend to and no time to relive the killings and f a madman!" I angrily repeat myself, "Now, get the knights so we can depart" I demand as he angrily looks at me. For a minute I think he'll say something but instead he looks at me and walks away.

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The carriage ride home was long, silent and dreadful.

Her face was void of all emotions, not even the slightest drop of boredom grace her face. She was still, the air around her thick and her eyes almost stolen, as they weren't hers.

"Your majesty-" the knight announces as she eagerly grabs his hand and rushes off, leaving me in the distance as I look to the horizon and see the quickly descending sun.

"EVANIA!" I hear as I look beside me and see Councilman Gaverns, the man that Evania seems to favour. "EVANIA-" he yells again as his course voice stops as I step in front of him.

"What is wrong with her?" My voice leads with eager, "You brought up her past, what happened?" The curiosity eating at me, so much soy lungs feel the ache.

"If she has not told you she has no desire for you to know!" He tells me as he pushes past me and into the castle and I look to the knight standing beside the castle doors.

"How long have you worked here?" I ask the old man

"6 years..., my King" The old man stutters as he bows to me.

"Do you know what happened to the Queen's family?" I ask as he pauses, his eyes scoping the area. "But I do know-" he start as another knight passes him and he moves closer to me, his face close to my ear "There is a historian in town, she is the only one who knows in detail how the Queen's father died." He admits as I nod my head and continue walking into the castle not stopping for anyone

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"EVANIA!" I hear Gavern yell behind me as I keep walking, past Gabriel and into the castle as my feet could not find the courage to stop.

I just want to crawl into the darkness of the world. My heart aches as the scenes repeat themselves in my head.

"DAD!" I hear the familiar voice of myself.

"It will be okay as long as you hold onto me" his calm tone rings through my head again.

"STOP!" I shout as I slap my hand against my head. Continuing to walk down the corridors despite the pondering looks as I continue down the abandoned corridor and stop at the second to last door.

There it was. Entering the old meeting room as I see the portrait of him hanging on the wall.

Somehow the guilt allows me to breathe as I quietly close the old meeting room door. Lighting the old, dusty candle left behind as my fingers trace his chair, the thought of taking his place never crossing my mind.

Staring into the flame as I hear the creak of the old wooden door open and I sigh.

"Evania" I hear Gaverns as I lean against the wall. "You shouldn't be here" he warns me as I smirk at his sad attempt to limit my emotions.

"But alas, I am" I passively reply, tinkering with my ring.

"I am sorry you had to see what you did. You shouldn't have-" Gaverns starts as I cut him off.

"What shouldn't have happened was you bringing up my past. That has nothing to do with Rogers!" I tell him as he nods in agreement with me.

"Are they back?" He ask me as I shift my gaze from the flame to Gaverns.

"He told you?" I ask him as he nods, "They will never truly stop, I am no fool! Why should I pretend I will ever reclaim my sanity again?" I ask him

"Tonics" he suggest as I scoff at his idea

"There has not been an act of violence greater than Rogers other than-" I start as my eyes shift to the ground. "I wish to see him" I whisper and Gaverns face falls.

"Do you really need that?" He ask me as I turn to him, my body pressed against my fathers chair.

"Yes, I do" I tell him and I feel my demeanour shift to hate. "Because if I could look at the men that forced me to do what I did I would ask them why? If I could-" I stop as I hold back tears, my hands shaking. "If I could ask my father one more time, why? Why like that?" My tears growing stronger as one escapes and falls down my cheek and onto my fathers chair. "But that doesn't matter anymore" I remind myself, wiping every trace of the tear away.

"What will you gain?" He ask me as I collapse.

"HE KILLED HIS FAMILY!" I scream as I stop myself, looking at my father's portrait. "If I had a choice, my father would still be here" I remind him.

"I know!" He says

"NO! You don't! Did you force your child to kill?" I ask him as he falls dead silent

"The twisted truth is that I have irreversible blood on my hands that will never leave me! I keep looking for someone to blame for my father's death, Narvyia, Gabriel, the men that raided the castle but the truth is....." I stop as I look deep into the eyes of my father's portrait. "That every time I look in the mirror I cannot escape the killer of my dad, King Titus. The person who put the blade to his heart and punctured it!" I confess as I leave the old meeting room, walking through the hallways again as I stop to look out the window as I hear the patters of rain against the window. Refusing to look as I keep walking.