Chapter 30 - Am I?

With a sorrowful smile, Lien slowly backed out of the cafe while she held her friend's hand by her side.

Not looking around, she walked to the set, leaving Mei to cope with herself.

Mei's gaze darted, her pupils constricting, she chuckled to herself sarcastically,

"And once again! I get stabbed in the back by someone I trusted and yet I can't stop hoping for something better."

Her mind turning non-responsiveness, she completely ignored Kuan's questions, continuing to nod.

Time passed by as Mei studied the ceiling over her head as she leaned forward in her chair with her hands behind her back.

"Look out, newbie! You might fall again!" Kuan cried out loudly, holding Mei's neck and fixing her posture.

A slight stammer escaped her mouth, "Haa...I just need some sleep, that's it," removing her hand, she remarked, "You don't have to worry about me."

"Of course I do. You're my responsibility right now since I was the one who invited you here."

Intertwining her arm into hers, she guided Mei out,

"And I should have realized that you need your rest after such intense sessions."

Chortling, she spun to face her, "I'm surprised you even stayed late and came early the next day, obviously you must be terribly tired. So tell me, do you want to go home?"

Fidgeting with her fingers, Mei forced a smile on herself,

"It's fine, doesn't really matter. I got to listen to all of your stories today so I would say it was worth it, but right now I would rather just go back and sleep the rest of the day."

Sighing, Kuan replied, "The girls were about to visit the set next block, you sure you don't want to stay?"

"More of a reason to get out of here,' she scoffed in her mind while she calmly declined Kuan's offer, stretching her arms and yawning as Mei tried making her point, "Nah, I really should head home now."

"Do you want my driver to drop you off?"

"Oh no no, please Kuan, you've done enough for me already. I'll just book a taxi from here."

Squinting her eyes, she looked back at Mei and pouted,

"Hmmm, okay, but just know newbie, you aren't troubling me at all, I'm happy to help you anytime you need, get it?"

Feeling some warmth within her, she bubbled, "I do, thank you."

"Aye aye!" softly smacking her forehead, Kuan squeezed her cheeks,

"No formalities between us. I will not accept sorrys or thank yous."

Fumbling for the right words, Mei just shook her head and hugged Kuan before waving her goodbye.

Finally receiving some peace in the car, her body slumped over the seat, her intrusive thoughts beginning to echo through the walls of her mind,

'Good to see she's so happy when she didn't even text me once after what happened.'

'Is she so embarrassed by me that she can't talk to me in front of other people now? After all that happened, I shouldn't even have expected anything from her. We just made a wreck of ourselves before, especially me,' blinking at the roof of the car, she felt her eyes turning watery, 'But.....but when I told her to leave me alone...she did. Not even asking me another question, she did nothing, nothing.'

"PATHETIC PATHETIC," her voice screeched in her head once again as Mei tried to calm it down.

"It's fine," she muttered, "She just prefers her fake famous friends over someone who destroyed her own reputation years ago."

Snickering, the voice mocked her, "You believing it just proves my point.

Repeat after me, MEI LING IS PATHETIC."

Digging her fingers into the side of her stomach, Mei giggled, "Am I?"

//

'It's hard seeing her act as if she isn't there right in front of my eyes'

Lien thought, her vision zooming past Mei's covered face multiple times.

'Why are you doing this Bao Bao? Do you really not want to see my face? Does it make you that anxious seeing me here?'

A pat on her shoulder made her jerk back to see another actor ask if she was ready to order, however, a sudden commotion caused their attention to shift towards Mei falling on the floor.

Feeling the impulse to run to her, Lien clenched her fists, stopping herself, she glanced at her hazel eyes that kept staring at the ground.

'Now look at your face. Acting as if you don't even know me, Mei Mei.

Where have we lost ourselves? Seems like you finally found some people to hang out with without me. And here I am, Bao Bao, with people whose only connection is work and fame.'

Stepping back with a lump in her throat, she excused herself in a toneless dialogue, rushing to her green room and bending over the mirror after locking the door.

Taking rasping breaths in panic, she relaxed her shoulders, her eyes twinkling under the dressing table's light,

"Should I call her? She told me not to, but what if she wants me to? No, Lien, she made it very clear that she needs her time...but maybe she expects something? It's not like this hasn't happened before. We've had multiple fights, but we always resolved them within hours. It's fine, Lien, she is happy by herself after a long time. I won't mess it up for her again, not now..."

//

Hearing her work phone ring, Mei jolted up to answer it,

"Trainer Wei? Is everything alright?"

Responding to her in a worried tone from the other side, he asked,

"I was just about to ask you that Mei Ling, did you not receive any of the texts I had sent you regarding the debut next week?"

Cursing under her breath, she piped in a haste,

"I'm so sorry. I will check it right away."

"Oh, it's alright, you don't need to. I just wanted to inform everyone to do their best this week as the companies will probably start sending people for reviewing each of you."

Squeezing her eyes shut, she sighed, reminded of how every year she was not allowed to enter the Academy during debut sessions, "Does that mean the training is off for me?"

Stunned, Wei exclaimed, "What? Why would you say that? I expect you to be one of the first ones to be chosen, Mei. Even after having only one month to practice and learn the training, you were able to perfectly master it as an experienced actress."

Lifting her eyebrows in surprise, she squeaked, "I...m... uh what?"

Dismissing her, he continued on, "And I hope you are taking care of your health properly because I need you to be at your best for the entire week. There are multiple opportunities you can decide from Mei. Don't give up now."

"I... I won't."

Before disconnecting the call, Wei stated, "See you on Monday. I'm proud of you for achieving this, Mei Ling, goodnight."

Flattered, she expressed her gratitude, her feet and hands tingling with excitement, "T...thank you so much, Trainer Wei. Have a good night."

Flinging the phone on her bed, she jumped on the mattress, burying her face in the pillow, screaming in joy,

"I FINALLY DID IT, I FINALLY DID IT, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING WOMAN."

Hearing a knock on her door, she stood up in an instant, fluffing her pillow and patting down her body, composing herself as she opened it.

Jian stood out of the doorway, his eyes widened in astonishment, "Uhh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

Embarrassed, Mei blinked back, "No..no you weren't, did you need something?"

"I just came here to tell you that there are a few auditions you could try to participate in."

Handing her a card, he pressed his lips in a thin line, walking back to his room without letting her say another word,

"The Yang company asked to see you in two weeks. You could call them with this number, I'll see you later."

"I'm sorry? WAIT, JIAN?! The Yang Company?!"