Stay

I got a call from Josie while I'm on the station going back to home, baby Jax is in the hospital and no one knows about Amanda.

*I'm sorry Josie, there's nothing I can do. It was Amanda choice, she left her family.*

*But Candice, There's nothing I can do to help baby Jax now, they only allow family. I can't even get any update*

*I'm sorry Josie...*

*He's your nephew...I don't know who else to call, please Candice.*

*What hospital you took him?*

*oh! Thank you. Don't worry, Samuel will pick you up.*

(What you did now Amanda?... I can't believe she left her family.)

I try to call Amanda several times, but of course she's not picking up.

I meet Samuel, soon we're heading to the hospital. I get out of the car almost running inside the building.

"Please, I'm here for Jackson Redgrave. He's a nine months old baby."

"Are you family?" The receptionist ask me.

"Yes, I'm his..." I'm shaking, I think for a moment. (I'm his aunt, I'm family, but this wouldn't help much if he needs something, I couldn't take any decision for him.)

"Yes, I'm his mother. Amanda Austen, I mean Redgrave... Amanda Redgrave."

"Ok, Mrs Redgrave, I just need your id. Someone will take you to your son soon."

I hand her Amanda's drive license. I take a deep breath, I still feel anxious when I tell people I'm Amanda. I'm afraid they don't believe me.

"Candice! I mean... Amanda. I'm so glad you came."

"Josie! They told you anything else?"

"No, if you can't do it we'll have to wait for Mr Redgrave. But I have no idea where he is."

"Are you Mrs Redgrave?" A doctor asks. I take a deep breath to get into the role.

"Yes, it's me."

"Hello, I'm MD Lee. I'm taking care of your son, Jackson."

"Please, tell me what happened."

"He's good now, we managed to control the fever. But we want to keep him for the night just to make sure. We're still waiting for a few more tests."

"Ok, can I see him?"

"Sure, come with me. He's sleeping now, but I think the presence of his mom will definitely help."

My heart sinks, I have no idea where his mom is, or when will she ever get back.

I get inside the room, the baby is sleeping peacefully, the doctor leaves us alone. I get close to him in the bed, I hold his tiny hand. My heart squeeze when I watch that little boy, looking so fragile now. I want to protect him from everything.

I lost track of the time, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm never leaving his side. I hold his hand, run my hand through his lovely blond hair.

I check my phone again, still nothing from Amanda.

"Don't worry baby boy, I'm here now..." I keep talking with him, holding his hand. I didn't notice Jackson got inside the room a few moments ago.

"Rest my little boy, I'm not letting anything hurt you..."

Jackson stop by my side making me jump with his presence, but somehow I feel relieved now he is here. I suddenly feel very tired, all the pressure from the last few days crashes on me. I look at Jackson standing there, I can't hold my tears.

Jackson hesitate, then he hold me inside his strong embrace.

His body is warm, he smells like home. I feel safe, for a while a let all the pressure on my chest go away. Jackson doesn't say anything the whole time.

Finally I feel a bit better, I leave his arms. I whip the tears from my face and get back to baby Jax side.

I start to talk but I don't dare to look at Jackson, now by my side caressing his baby boy.

"The doctors are still waiting some results but he doesn't have fever anymore." My voice is still weak and shaky.

"I came the faster I could when I got Josie messages." He speaks sounding very worried.

I just glance at him then look back to the baby.

"Where you here all night?"

I nod to him affirmatively.

"You can go home, I'm staying with him."

"uh?!... No, I'm staying." I finally look at him, there's no way I'm leaving this hospital.

"You look tired." Jackson tries to convince me.

"I'm ok, I'm not leaving him."

He doesn't say anything else.

After a couple hours Jackson fall asleep on the chair, I decide to look for Josie outside.

"Josie! What are you still doing here?"

"I'm waiting for news."

"He's better now, the doctors just want to keep an eye on him."

"Thank goodness... I was so worried."

"Josie, thank you for taking him to the hospital."

"No, I have to thank you for coming. Did you had any answer from Amanda?"

"I just forgot to check the last hour." I check the phone again, there's a new message from Amanda.

**I need some time for myself, I'll leave for a few months.**

"That's it?"

I don't even know what to say.

"I never thought Amanda would do exactly what our mother did to us. She knows how hard was to both of us growing up without her."

"Candice, Amanda is not like you."

"I know, but Jax is her son. He's just a baby."

"What you gonna do now?"

"I can't keep with this."

"I know this is fücked up, but he's your nephew. Don't leave him too."

"Are you suggesting I keep with Amanda's lie?"

"Amanda may not love her son but she loves Jackson money, she'll be back as soon as she needs more. Knowing her life style it will be fast, maybe a couple of months."

"This is not a good idea. I'd love to take care of him but I can't."

"Yes you can, no one besides me could tell the difference between you two, not even her husband. The baby loves you, he needs a mother now.

You just told me how bad was to grow up without your mother."

"I don't know Josie, you should go back to home. I promise I'll let you know when something new happens."

"Ok, please think about it. I love that baby, I don't want him to suffer because of his evil mother."

I try to call Amanda again, now her phone is unavailable like she blocked me or deactivated the phone.

($hit!... she really dont want to be found.)

I get some coffee and head back to the room. My mind is racing.

When I get to the room I try to wake up Jackson.

"Jackson... Jax... wake up"

"uh!... He woke up?"

"No, not yet. I got you some coffee."

"Thanks..."

I keep watching baby Jax sleep.

(Can I keep doing this? Can I keep lying?)