Cold Turkey

Lucas convinced me to meet with him and Jackson to talk about his plan to arrest Pierre.

Amanda is staying at her apartment, but today she's here. She agreed to help Lucas to avoid the charges.

Hanna and Matt are here too, when Lucas found none of the partners were involved with the frauds he decided to tell them everything.

Since I got here I didn't share any glance with Jackson he's solemnly avoiding me. I'm ok with that, I think I deserve it and Hanna didn't miss the opportunity to fill the gap Amanda is leaving.

I can hear baby Jax crying in the kitchen, Josie can't make him calm down.

"Josie! We're trying to have a conversation here."

It doesn't surprise me a bit that Amanda doesn't even try to see what's going on with her son. Josie pops up from the kitchen looking embarrassed with the upset baby in her arms.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I'm trying everything."

"Just give him to me."

Hanna takes him from Josie and I try my best to look away, I just want to comfort him but this is not my call to make anymore.

Hanna is not having any success trying to calm baby Jax. He's probably just sleepy.

(My poor baby.)

After a few minutes, I can't stand this anymore, I glance at Jackson he looks at me but doesn't say anything I think it means he'll not try to stop me.

"Let me try. Please"

I take him from Hanna, he's just tired. Probably stressed with so many people around.

"Shhh... I know baby, I know..."

I get distracted by him for a moment, I missed him so much. After a few minutes, he finally calm down and start to fall asleep.

I get back to the conversation with the baby in my arms, Josie looks at me from the kitchen door.

"Do you want me to take him to his bedroom, Candice?"

"No, it's ok, better wait for him to fall deeper."

"Ok, excuse me."

Josie walks away smiling. Jackson glances away when I turn back to the people in the living room.

"It's the best option we have, He would sense something is wrong if he sees Amanda now. We need Candice."

I get the last part of Matt's speech, he was always by my side from the beginning.

"I don't agree with this plane, how can we know she was not part of this?"

Hanna of course is not...

Jackson doesn't say anything to Hanna. Hurts me a little he doesn't speak up for me.

I don't care if you trust me, I don't need to do anything. I better leave.

"I don't need to be here if they don't want me."

"Candice please..."

Lucas gets closer to me, he lowers his head to meet my eyes.

"I'm asking your help, can you do it for me?"

Lucas talks to me sweetly while he runs a hand through my face. I can feel Jackson burning me with his eyes behind me. I'm almost sure he hates me more than ever.

"It can't be your only option."

I'm still not convinced.

"No, but it's our best shot. Please... for me"

"Ok, this last time."

"I knew you wouldn't let me down."

"I'm taking Jax to his crib then we can leave."

"Ok."

I walk away from the group of people. I lay Jax on his crib, it was good to have this moment with him, but I need to leave. I kiss him on his forehead and walk away.

When I pass through the library Jackson is coming on my way.

He drags me inside the library and closes the door behind him.

Everything happens so fast I don't have time to react. Jackson locks the door behind him, I'm a bit scared I don't know what he's up to.

"What are you doing?"

"I need answers, Candice."

He looks angry but hearing the way Jax says my name makes me warm inside.

"I think you already know everything."

"No, I don't, I need to know from you."

Jax gets close to me, I'm cornered against the door. My heart is racing, he's scaring me.

"I want to hear from you, I want you to tell me why you came back."

"Lucas needs my help to finish his case."

"Of course..."

I thought he would accept my answer and let me go but he doesn't.

Jax is pushing me against the door, I can feel all his warm body pressing against mine. His face is so close, I couldn't move an inch without our lips crashing together.

"Let me go."

"That was the reason why did you stay?"

I can't answer that, I can't tell him the truth.

"It was just a joke for you, wasn't it? Make me fall for you just to have fun?"

Jackson's face is so close I can see his eyes watering, he's angry, hurt, but there's something else. I can't stand looking in his eyes this close.

I try to look away but he cups my face with one hand to keep me facing him.

Jackson is not aggressive but he's putting in too much strength, I want to get away from him but all I can do is give him more access when I try to escape. I take a step aside to free myself but it gets Jackson pressing his lower body even harder between my thighs.

My hands are on his chest. The way his arms are positioned one beside my head on the wall, the other hand holding my face gets me caged.

I don't know what we're doing, but this is not a fight.

"Say it, Candice!"

Jackson raises his voice making me jump, the library is far from the living room where the others are but I'm afraid they could listen.

"Tell me it was just a game for you!"

"Please... stop"

My voice is just a whisper. Jackson's eyes are intense, he's shaking. I can feel his heart beating fast.

"That night..."

Now his voice is struggling, low and painful.

"...The night from the fundraising, tell me it was not real. Tell me you were pretending when I was inside you all night."

He's panting like he just run a marathon, his tense muscles and bulge growing against my thighs make me weak on his arms.

I can't answer that. From all the lies I told him this would be the biggest one. I can't say what he wants, I can't lie about this.

I just deny shaking my head slowly,

Jackson shut his eyes and rest his forehead on mine for a moment. I know he's fighting a battle inside his mind.

We're not more than five minutes here but the time freezes when we're together.

Jax fills the last inches between us, he claims my lips. His kiss is urgent, demanding.

He raises me, entangling my legs around his waist, and walks back to the nearest sofa.

We sink together, I'm still wrapped around him. He grabs my hips, I can't control my body anymore. All I want now is Jackson buried inside me.

We don't even have time to finish undressing before we get lost in each other.

It takes all my strength to not make any sound, I have to bite my lips and bury my face on his neck.

His breath getting harder and harder against my ear sending me over the edge. I crash down panting on his chest.

It was fast and intense reflecting the need and frustration from the last days.

We start to move again slowly, I get myself away from him and start to fix my clothes and hair.

"I need to go."

Jackson glance at me not saying anything, he knows I'm right. I can't stay any longer.

I walk away, I lay outside the door trying to catch my breath and calm myself down before I return to the living room.

I try my best to hide my emotions when I face others again.

"What happened?"

"I... I was making sure he wouldn't wake up again when I left him in his crib."

Lucas nods and I follow him outside the house.

---------

I'm shaking. Candice's scent is still all over me. I can't explain how that happened.

I'm angry with her but I'm not sure about the real reason anymore. I thought I was angry because she lied and used me, but I couldn't stand seeing her so close to detective West.

I had to know if she was always pretending, but I lost myself. It would be so easier if she admits that night after the fundraising event was not real.

It was never so intense or passionate with anyone before, and today I felt that again.

"Candice..."

I say the name that haunts me every day and night.

(How can I feel this way about someone I don't even know?)

I don't know if the woman I fell for is real, I don't know if she's still somewhere inside Candice.

---------------

Lucas takes me to his place again, the ride back is silent. He doesn't try to talk, probably thinking I'm just touched by the awkward conversation at Jackson's house.

When we get to his place he finally speaks.

"There's anything you want to discuss the plan?"

"Not now. I'm tired, Lucas. Can I have some sleep?"

Lucas checks my face for a moment then nod agreeing.

"Of course."

I walk to his bedroom and sink into the bed. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, being around Jackson again will be the real challenge.