Deja vu

I was so sad I fell asleep in minutes but I wake up with the first sunshine. It takes me a while to understand where I am and what happened last night.

(I'm in Lucas's apartment, I slept in his bed. And I had the worst night ever)

I get out of bed and walk to the bedroom. I splash some water on my face and take a look at myself in the mirror. I look like crap.

When I walk out to the room, Lucas is already awake sitting on the couch.

"Hey."

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

It's the first time I saw him without his usual professional look. He looks like his age now. Lucas is usually serious and very professional, but now with a sleepy face, messy hair, and shirtless he looks sweet and careless.

"It was ok, I think."

"I'll make you some coffee."

"Thank you... for everything."

Lucas glances at me one last time before he disappears into the kitchen.

He returns a few minutes later with a cup of coffee.

"Thank you."

He hands me the cup of coffee and sits down in front of me. He's all dressed now in a casual look, no shoes.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going home."

"You can stay here more if you need."

"Thank you, but I want to go home. I just want to let this all behind."

Lucas seems a bit disappointed.

"I'm sorry again, Candice. I know you probably don't want to see me ever again but I want to check on you if you don't mind. I feel responsible."

"It's ok Lucas, I'll be fine. It's not your fault, I knew it would end this way. I should be prepared."

"Let me at least give you a ride to the station."

I let a sigh out, I'm really tired.

"Ok."

During the ride I watch outside the window, we drive for a few places I went with baby Jax. I feel the tears creeping into my eyes again.

"I'll talk to Amanda later today."

Lucas distracts me a bit from my thoughts, but this is not the subject I'd want to talk about now.

"Yeh?"

"I don't want to give her time to make up a story."

"You don't know my sister."

I scoff, I don't even feel pain anymore. I can't even recognize myself, I'm not this sarcastic person.

"I'm starting to know, I was really surprised when I got your message."

"Honestly I'm not, this is a very Amanda thing. Her lover dumps her, she gets back to her husband and son like nothing happened till she finds a new toy."

"You think he'll accept her back?"

I glance at Lucas.

"She's pregnant, also I never doubt Amanda's manipulation skills."

"I don't think she can get away this time if she's involved with the frauds."

Soon we're in front of the station. I get out of his car. Lucas walk around to meet me, he brush a hand on my hair.

"If you need anything just call me, ok?"

I just look up at his face and smile a little, I hug him and walk away. After a few minutes, I'm on a bus on my way home.

When I get home it feels weird, it doesn't feel like home anymore. Not because I was already used to the luxury life but it feels empty, silent. I miss my baby boy laughing and his little steps.

I don't tell Papa Danny and Bonnie I'm back home. I'm not ready to talk with anyone, I'll need some time to be only Candice again.

The next day Lucas calls me to check on me, he's been very supportive since I left Amanda house. He told me she was not available to talk with him, she's avoiding him.

I was not expecting anything different, Amanda always gets away.

I decide to visit Bonnie, she's the closest to a mother or grandmother I have now.

Talking with Bonnie makes me feel better, also I miss the Lady B bistro. The smell of fresh coffee and coconut cake starts to bring back the home feeling.

"Danny was so excited about meeting his grandson, he was talking about this all the week."

"I'm glad they could meet, I knew they would get along."

"He's a lovely kid."

I smile but I can't hide the bittersweet feeling of talking about baby Jax.

"You miss him, don't you?"

"I do, a lot. It was just a couple of months but that baby boy became very important to me."

"Well, couldn't be different. He's your nephew."

I smile at Bonnie while playing with the sugar packs on the table.

"Excuse me, Candie, I have to check the kitchen. I can't wait to have you back at work."

When I'm alone a hear my phone buzzing.

*Candice?*

*Josie?*

A call from Josie makes me get alert, I instantly worry about Jax.

*Josie, is everything ok with Jax?*

*Of course, calm down. He's ok.*

I feel a relieving wave filling my body.

*Thank God*

*And you, how are you going? This place is awful without you*

*I'm ok, I mean I'll be ok.*

*I can't make him sleep without many hours of pouting and tantrums.*

*You give him his giraffe? He sleeps faster holding it.*

*Yes, I tried every toy and pillow. Nothing works.*

*He fights the sleep sometimes.*

*Jackson is never at home, he's always at his office again. Amanda never leaves her bedroom.*

That's what I was afraid of, he have no one again now I left him too.

*Josie, please take care of him. You're all he has now.*

*That's not true, he has his aunt.*

*Yeh, the one who left him.*

*Don't be like this.*

I hear the baby pouting through the phone, my heart squeeze. I wish I could be there for him.

*You know what? I think it would help if you talk to him.*

*What? I don't think...*

I hear Josie's voice getting far from the phone than getting closer again. She turns on the cam and switches to video call.

*Look who is here, baby*

My eyes get puffy instantly, I missed that smile so much. He looks so impressed trying to grab the phone.

*Hey baby boy! Are you causing trouble to Josie?*

Jax laughs when he hears my voice.

*Hey baby, you should be sleeping sweety*

Josie holds him comfortably on her lap, I can see how tired he is. He's fighting the sleep even if he can barely keep his eyes open.

*I miss you so much, love*

I sing his favorite lullaby making him calm down, soon Jax is sleeping.

*See? It worked. Thank you, Candice,*

*No, I should thank you, I loved to see him.*

We repeat that every night the following week. It's the favorite time of my day.

Has been two weeks since I came back home, it's my first time back to work on Lady B. It's nice to keep my mind busy.

"I heard the coconut cake is one of the best in the estate."

I follow the voice to find Lucas standing behind me.

"What are you doing here? How did you find my work?"

"I'm kind of a detective."

He walks closer and I hug Lucas.

"You came all this way just for the cake?"

"Between other things."

"Like what?"

"I need your help again Candice."

Lucas came to Lady B to meet me, but it was not any visit. I think he might have an agenda.

"I need your help again, Candice."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I talked with Amanda, she agreed on a deal to testify against Pierre."

"She did what?"

(Amanda testifying against her lover?)

"She doesn't have many options, he was just using her to get access to Jackson's business. She was played."

"Wow... I was not expecting something like this, is not every day someone makes fool of Amanda."

"She is angry, of course, she would agree. Also, he left her alone pregnant."

"That's good for your investigation but I don't know why you need my help, seems like you have everything set."

"Nor really, Pierre is nowhere to be found. Also, Amanda's testimony is fragile, I need real evidence."

"I'm still lost here."

Lucas takes a breath and leans closer to me resting his elbows on the table.

"I need your help to get evidence from him."

"Why? You just told me you have Amanda."

"He only talked with her on the phone since she came back, he doesn't know about the exchange. The last time he saw Amanda in person it was you, only a couple of weeks ago. He would think her baby bump grew up too fast since the last time."

I'm listening to Lucas but I'm zoning out, I can't believe he's asking me to pretend to be Amanda again.

"No, I'm sorry Lucas. You know I can't do this anymore."

"I know it was very difficult for you the last time but now is different."

"How can this be different? It's even worse now, Amanda is back and Jackson hates me."

"I talked to him."

"What?"

I'm in shock, I can't believe he did all this behind my back.

"How dare you?!"

"Candice... please just listen first."

"Leave now, you have my answer I don't need to listen to anything."

I stand up and walk away from the restaurant. Lucas follows me outside.

"Candice, please wait!"

"How could you do this to me again?!"

Lucas is silent, he's staring at me like he's trying to approach a wild animal.

"I'm sorry again, I should have told you before... but this is my last opportunity. We got so far, would be a shame to let him escape now."

"Find another way, I'm not going back."

"It would be different now because Jackson knows what Amanda and Pierre did, he wants to get him too."

"It doesn't change the fact he hates me too, he probably thinks I was part of the scheme."

"No, I told him you had nothing to do with Pierre."

"It was his idea to ask me for help?"

"No... I'm trying to convince him it is our best chance."

"See? You just made my point here."

"You wouldn't need to live in his house or lie again, you would be Amanda only with Pierre."

"I'm sorry..."

"Just come with me to talk, let me explain the plan. If you don't like it I won't try to force you."

I think for a moment, I don't know if I can face Jackson again so soon. But even if he hates me he needs my help.

"Ok, I'm coming with you. But I'm not making any promises."

"Of course, I just need you to listen to my plan."

"Fine."

The next day I'm in front of Jackson again in his living room. I never thought I'd be back to this place.