Moving

The trip back home was long. Too long. Sometimes I just paused, and turned, waited for him to come running to me, hug me, let me smell him, tell me it was all a mistake. He could have told me anything, he didn't even need to form an excuse. He could have told me lies and I swear on my life, I would have taken it to be the truth And nothing but the truth. But he never came out. I did see Claire walk out, but at this point, it didn't matter anymore. She got what she wanted already. Now i'm broken, and when I stare in those pieces all I can see are more pieces. I fell on the road, staring at my house. It grew dimmer and dimmer, spiralling, until all I saw was darkness.

"You fainted on the road? Because we enrolled you into a college? You've really gone to the extreme, Audrey." I opened my eyes, and as if on cue, a tear fell. "Calm down. We are grateful nothing happened. She will come to terms with it, I believe. Its just rebellion. When she realizes she can't do anything about it, she will give in. Don't worry." It was my dad's voice. He'd always been the gentler one. I straightened up and both of them turned to me. "How do you feel?" My dad asked, coming to sit by my side. "Can I talk to just you?" My mum's eyes thinned at that, and she didn't wait for my dad to say a word, before she grabbed her bag and walked out furiously. "I want to go." "Go where?" I swallowed. "Out. Wherever you want me to go. I will go. I won't argue." I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. He used a thumb to wipe them away, then held my shoulders. "Is it Tony?" "And claire." His eyes widened at my response, but he didn't need me to say more. He pulled me in his warm embrace, his woody scent rushing into my nostrils. "It will be fine," he said, patting my back. "We'll get you away from here, and you will forget all about them. Meet new people. Fall in love again. And it will seem reasonable that they left your life now." I nodded, letting the tears flow freely now. I would never be able to rationalize why i didn't even deserve an explanation. Or to be followed. Or even a response. I would never be able to understand where I went wrong. What made me such a bad person. What i had done to deserve the betrayal. It probably would never ever make sense to me, but at least, I won't see them anymore. I nodded as he pulled gently away, then held my face in his hands. I will make all the arrangements for you, and by tomorrow, we should have a new flight booked for you. I promise, okay?" I nodded. He stood, patting my shoulder. "Sleep a bit more, okay?" I nodded again, sniffing. He gave my shoulder a little squeeze, then walked out.

I ran my hands over the fur shawl. It was white, with a small patch of light brown, and had been my favorite shawl for as long as I remember. Ironically, neither I nor my parents remember getting it. When we couldn't solve the mystery, we filed it off as a christmas gift. Merely touching it sent a sensation of calm through my body. Calm, and a bit of electricity. It always gave me that feel when I wore it. Calm, like I was right where i was meant to be, regardless of how wrong the situation was at that point. I pulled it off gently and kept it gently into the clothes box. My flight was scheduled for the next day, two days earlier than it was before. My dad had done everything, even got me accommodation. And when Tony had dropped by, he had taken care of him too, in the coldest, steeliest voice i've ever heard coming from my dad. "She doesn't want to see you." My dad had said, still holding the door, indicating he wasn't going to let him in, or even let him stay out there for too long. "Please sir. It was all a misunderstanding and I really need to talk it out with ber. She also said she had a flight, please. Just this once." My dad sighed. "What kind of father would I be to let the guy who hurt my daughyer by cheating on her with her best friend close to her agsin? A horrible father." My dad answered himself before Tony could say a word, and continued; "And I refuse to be one. Yes, she is leaving, and I won't say where. Goodbye, and good luck." He said with a tone of finality and shut the door on Tony's face. I Came out of my hiding corner, forcing a grateful smile. I have missed Tony's voice. "Thank you" I said. My dad had only shrugged. "I thought that's what you would want." I nodded at him. "That's what I want." But with every passing day, I was convinced that was wrong. I wanted Tony. Maybe I should have talked to him that day. Maybe now I wouldn't have to cry myself to sleep reading our old messages, with his voice in my head. Maybe I wouldn't have to keep hugging that one backwoods hoodie I had stolen from him. Maybe I would have moved on. Maybe now I would realize why it Hadn't worked out, or why all those plans went to waste, or my time, my efforts, my love, why all of those weren't appreciated. But i haven't and that was probably why i need to make this trip more than any thing else. Maybe this trip was my own closure. Maybe this was my own way of dealing with the pain. I packed in the last of my things and sealed the box. Now i'm leaving. "This is how I move on from you, Tony."